


Just a dream

by Saysi



Category: Free!
Genre: Cuddling, Dissociative Haru, Fluff, Love Bites, M/M, Making Out, Near Future, Post-Canon, Post-Eternal Summer, Protective Rin, fluff n stuff, mentions of sex stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-13 18:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 57,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9135712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saysi/pseuds/Saysi
Summary: Haru's dreams can be vivid, painful, or downright ridiculous. He's not entirely sure which category this falls into.





	1. Chapter 1

He'd had this dream a thousand times. 

He woke in a daze to the sound of knocking, and he rolled over to wait for it to go away. But it didn't go, it just kept coming. Eventually he realised it wasn't going to stop, so he made his way downstairs in a sulk and threw open the door, to find-  
Him. Always him.  
He hadn't seen him in years, but he never looked any different. Same fiery eyes, annoyed at having to wait. Same maroon hair, tied back in a little ponytail. The clothes changed a little sometimes, depending on the season or the recent weather, just because his jerk of a brain wanted it to seem legitimate.  
The first few times he had the dream he'd leapt into his arms and told him to never leave again, that he never knew how much he would miss him.  
After about a dozen times, he turned to punching, gritting his teeth as he asked where he'd been, why he didn't call.  
He estimated it was about the hundredth time that he'd stopped reacting, that he'd started slamming the door in his face and walking off, waking as he took his third step down the hall.  
And here it was again. Maybe his brain had run out of ways to torment him. Or maybe it knew that this was what would get to him, seeing it over and over again every night. Occasionally he would stay asleep just long enough to hear him call out, berating him for locking him out, and would wake with icy fingers clutching at his stomach. But still he followed the script. He walked down the stairs in his old pajamas, rubbing at tired eyes, and pushed the door open to look.  
Yup, there he was. As usual.  
His fingers never even left the door handle, immediately started pulling it back closed.  
"Haru?"  
He froze.  
Typical. Once again his brain had changed it up just enough to catch him off guard, just enough to give him that brief jolt of hope before it all came crashing down. He shook it off and slammed the door closed, turned around to storm back to his bedroom. He'd wake up for real any second now, cursing himself for buying into the dumb tricks his brain generated.  
"Oh come on" he heard through the thin wood "Okay, I get it, but come on!"  
Three steps, that was all it ever took.  
"Just hear me out"  
One.  
"Don't be an ass"  
Two.  
"I'm sorry, okay?!"  
Three.  
"Just punch me or something, don't ignore me"  
Four?  
He whirled around to stare at the closed door, listening to the barely understandable whining from the other side.  
"Rin?"  
His voice was barely a whisper, as if the word didn't want to leave his throat, but he didn't risk trying it again.  
"Haru?"  
Five.  
This would be the last one, surely. There was no way his brain would double such a consistent part of the dream. This one would wake him up in the dim morning light and let him curl up in a ball to recover.  
Six.  
"Rin?" he asked again, a little stronger this time  
"Haru"  
He couldn't stop himself. He flung the door open, nearly bowled the man over as he leapt and hugged and punched and complained all at the same time.  
"Sorry, did I wake you up?"  
Haru didn't bother to answer him, his fists balling up in the baggy black hoodie, holding so tightly his arms started to shake.  
"Woah, seriously, are you okay?"  
Rin gently loosed the fingers from his hoodie, nudging Haru aside lightly as he came in and closed the door behind him. He was staring now, watching every move Rin made. Every muscle expanding and contracting as he took off his shoes.  
"Why didn't you call?!" Haru burst finally, motioning as if he might lash out again. "Almost a year, and not a single call?!"  
"Sorry, it was hard"  
"Hard? _Hard?!_ Every single day I waited! I only you knew you were _alive_ because of _meet results_!"  
"I didn't know you would be so concerned"  
In one sentence Haru came to his senses again, taking a step backward as his fists loosened, as his jaw unclenched. He'd messed up. In all the time he'd been away, Rin had just been happily swimming and steadily improving. He probably hadn't thought about Haru even once. It was all in Haru's head, his dumb dreams, it was all fake.  
"You woke me up" he said finally, feeling slow and stupid "I was still asleep"  
"Sorry, I came straight from the airport"  
Only then did Haru notice the suitcase in the hall, the passport still sticking out of Rin's pocket, the ridiculously tired slump in Rin's shoulders.  
"Straight here?"  
"Yeah"  
He took a while to process the information, and Rin only watched him silently, his eyes betraying his concern even though he hid it from everywhere else.  
"Why?"  
"I wanted to see you"  
"Your family?"  
"They'll still be there later. I wasn't sure how early you'd be out at the pool. Didn't really want to chase you all over town"  
"You could have called"  
"After all this time?"  
"Yeah"  
"Sorry, next time I'll call"  
"You said that last time"  
"This time I mean it"  
"Is that meant to make me feel better?"  
"I mean... Yeah, kind of"  
Haru huffed, and Rin had to stop himself from laughing at the sudden sulking.  
"Is this why you slammed the door on me? You were mad?"  
"No"  
"Oh" Rin frowned now, confused again "What's going on? What aren't you telling me?"  
"It's nothing"  
"Come on, I'm out of practice at guessing, give me a hint"  
"Whose fault is that?"  
"Mine, one hundred percent, but that's beside the point"  
"I'm going back to bed" Haru grumbled, "do what you want"  
He stomped back to his bedroom and collapsed into the blankets, grimacing at the rays of daylight starting to filter in the window as he buried his head in the pillow. The mattress sank behind him, and he pulled a face again even though he knew Rin wouldn't see it, holding dead still as Rin draped an arm over his waist.  
"What are you doing?" He asked finally, hoping it was dark enough still that Rin couldn't see him blush.  
"You said to do what I want. This is what I want"  
"This dream just keeps getting worse"  
"Dream?"  
"It's nothing"  
Rin curled into his back, fitting himself into every curve of Haru's hunched frame, and Haru was torn between the urge to pinch himself and snap out of it, and the need to stay just a little longer.  
"Haru?"  
"What?"  
"I missed you"

When he woke up, there was no figure curled up beside him. No arm around his waist, no long hair tickling his neck, nothing.  
His dreams were getting ridiculous.  
He grimaced as he sat up, rubbing his eyes in the sunlight, and trudged his way to the bathroom. The bath would wake him up, would make him feel more tethered, less detached from the world. He'd had that feeling more and more as of late, like he was floating instead of walking. It never lasted long, and he could fend it off by staying busy – cooking, cleaning, swimming, he'd even taken up running a few times when it got bad. It always came back when he was bored or idle for too long, a fleeting moment where he shot off into space, then came hurtling back with a jolt.  
It felt good to be in the water. Not that he exactly spent much time out of it, if he could help it. But every time he went from dry to soaking wet it brought that same relief and comfort he so desperately needed.  
There were footsteps at the other end of the house, and he knew Makoto had come to drag him back into reality, to hold out that same hand and use that same annoying nickname. He waited though, didn't bother climbing out to meet him, and froze at the sound of a knock on the bathroom door.  
"Haru?"  
He leapt up, almost slipped over in his haste, flinging water everywhere. The door slammed open under his hand, and he stared blankly at the slightly amused face before him.  
"I made breakfast"  
Rin complained as Haru threw his arms around his waist, immediately soaking his clothes through, but he held on just as tightly when he looped his arms around the strong, bare shoulders.  
"What's gotten into you?"  
"You're here"  
"Yeah, I'm here"  
"I thought..."  
"Oh" Rin finally caught on, putting enough distance between them to meet Haru's eyes "Is that what you meant? When you talked about dreaming?"  
"Yeah"  
"You thought I wasn't really here?"  
"Yeah"  
"How many dreams have you been having about me?" he smirked "Enough to believe you were dreaming about me coming home?"  
"Yeah"  
"Wait, seriously?"  
Haru didn't answer, just squeezed a little with fingertips that still touched Rin's back, and after a stunned moment he pulled the boy in close again.  
"I missed you too" he smiled knowingly "I'm glad to be back"  
"Yeah" he murmured, his face buried in Rin's chest "You smell"  
"Someone laid claim to the bath all morning"  
"I'm not done yet"  
"Yes you are, go eat"  
"Fine"  
He detached himself from Rin without even a hint of a smile, grabbing his towel and some clean clothes to head for the kitchen. Sure enough, Rin's things littered the hallway. Mostly dirty clothes, where he'd gone digging for something, but a gym towel and a bag of toiletries was in the mix too.  
"At least clean up after yourself" Haru muttered faintly, stepping over a pair of filthy looking socks to reach the kitchen.  
Sure enough, a ton of food was waiting on the bench. Mackerel included, much to Haru's surprise. He tentatively took a few bites, and everything actually tasted decent. Good, even. Apparently Rin could cook.  
Maybe he was still dreaming.  
When Rin made it out of the shower, one hand rubbing at his hair with a towel, he found Haru still standing at the kitchen counter, staring at his empty plates.  
"Haru?"  
He jumped, as if he hadn't heard Rin coming in the slightest, and Rin smiled slightly at the wide-eyed look he got when Haru turned.  
"Not dreaming" Rin assured him, with a teasing smile. "Still here, still me"  
"It was good. Thank you"  
"No problem. You were still sleeping when I got back from my run, I figured it was the least I could do for waking you up so early. Sorry about that, by the way."  
"It's fine"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah"  
"Okay. Plans for today? Anything on the table?"  
"Not really"  
"Does that mean I can stick around for a while?"  
"If you want"  
"I do"  
"Okay"

It was nearly midday before Rin started to question what was going on, as he watched Haru wander aimlessly from room to room. He'd thrown Rin's clothes in the washing machine even though Rin had insisted he could do it himself, but the whole time it ran he had just kind of... waited.  
"Are you swimming today?" Rin called as he passed by the doorway  
"Maybe"  
"Maybe?"  
"I don't know. Makoto didn't come this morning"  
"Isn't Makoto in Tokyo?"  
"Oh. Yeah."  
"Was he visiting recently or something?"  
"I'm not sure"  
"I'll take you, if you don't want to go on your own"  
"Okay"  
"Okay?"  
"Yeah"  
"Grab a towel then, just let me find my suit"  
"Okay"  
Rin emptied half the contents of his suitcase to find one, quickly shoving things back into some semblance of containment to keep Haru from feeling the need to clean. As they began to walk Haru fell silent again, but it was a different kind of quiet to what Rin remembered. Emptier he thought, although he wasn't sure why. It was a peaceful day, cool and calm, the winter cold still kept at bay for the time being, and the walk was kind of pleasant and a little nostalgic - at least in Rin's eyes. It didn't take them long to get to the pool, and Haru was in the water before Rin could even blink. It brought a smile to his face as he watched the comfort wash over him, saw a hint of the old peace and joy flash through his eyes.  
"Long time no see, Rin"  
He whirled around and grinned at the familiar face, unsure why he was so surprised to see it.  
"Coach Sasabe! It's been a while!"  
"How long have you been back?"  
"Literally hours. Tagged along with Haru"  
He nodded toward the water, but his smile faded when he caught the flash of concern in his old coach's face.  
"So it's not just me, then?" Rin frowned "He doesn't seem like himself"  
"It's been a few weeks now. Well, I guess it started months ago, but it started to get bad more recently"  
"Bad how?"  
"Sometimes we'll find him sitting in the locker rooms, just kind of staring into the distance. Bone dry, like he's gotten out of the pool and sat there for hours. He still shows up to train and compete, but that's about the only time anyone sees him"  
"He doesn't study or work or anything?"  
"Not as far as we know."  
"He doesn't zone out in the water, does he? I hate to think"  
"No, not so far. We've all kept a close eye on him to make sure he keeps breathing, but I don't know if there's much else we can do. Seems to be when he's alone"  
"When did Makoto last visit?"  
"His summer break, maybe? A few months ago. August?"  
"Oh"  
"Why do you ask?"  
"Oh, he just... No reason, really. Curious"  
"He'll be back for the new year soon, I imagine. I'm sure he'd love to catch up with you"  
"Yeah, me too. I'll call him"  
"I'd better get back to work, but it was good to see you. Come by as much as you like, while you're in the area"  
"Thank you, I appreciate it"  
He watched Haru for a few more long moments as Sasabe wandered off, finally shaking it off to join him in the pool.

"Talk to me" Rin pleaded "People are worried about you. _I'm_ worried about you."  
"It's nothing, it's fine"  
"It's not nothing"  
"I just... drift off, I guess"  
It was the closest he'd gotten so far to Haru admitting he had a problem.   
"When?"  
"When... I'm not doing anything"  
"Like, when you're bored?"  
"Yeah"  
"What about after breakfast? You got bored while you were eating?"  
"No, I... I don't know"  
Rin sighed faintly, trying his best to readjust to the fact that this was how conversations with Haru tended to go.  
"Do you have a job?"  
"No"  
"University?"  
"No"  
"So you just swim and that's it?"  
"Yeah"  
"What do you do when you aren't swimming?"  
"I don't know"  
"What do you eat in a day?"  
"I don't know"  
"How much do you sleep?"  
This time Haru didn't answer, and Rin considered him briefly.  
"You talk about dreams a lot"  
"Yeah"  
"Do you think you're dreaming right now?"  
"I don't think so"  
"So you know that I'm really here?"  
"Yeah"  
"Have you been struggling to sleep properly?"  
"Yeah"  
"Because of... Nightmares?"  
"Not really"  
"Are you stressed?"  
"I don't think so"  
Rin grimaced, again stopping to contemplate the strangely frail looking figure before him.  
"Are you still winning your events?"  
"Yeah"  
"Consistently?"  
"Always"  
"Well that's something. And you're going to try to qualify for worlds?"  
"I guess"  
"What does that mean?"  
"I hadn't thought about it"  
"Did you do national events this year?"  
"Yeah"  
"International?"  
"Yeah"  
"Okay, that's a start. When was the last one?"  
"Ah... July"  
"When is the next one?"  
"I'm not sure. A while away"  
"Is that when this started? When your swim season went on break?"  
"Maybe"  
"Makoto was here in August. Did you see him?"  
"Yes"  
"And you knew he left again?"  
"Yes"  
"Then why did you think I was him this morning?"  
"I don't know. I was half asleep"  
"Okay" Rin sighed "Almost done questioning, bear with me a little longer"  
"It's fine"  
"Has it ever happened when other people were around? The zoning out, I mean"  
"No"  
"How sure are you? Entirely?"  
"Yeah"  
"What about in the water? Or anywhere else dangerous?"  
"No, I told you"  
"Told me what?"  
"It's just when I'm not doing anything"  
"Okay. So when you're not doing anything, you're tired or bored, and you're alone?"  
"Yeah"  
"And what fixes it? What brings you back?"  
He thought about it for a bit, and Rin could tell he was fighting for words more than for ideas.  
"Touch"  
"When other people touch you?"  
"Not just people. Things too"  
"Like what?"  
"Water"  
"Right, okay. Do you want to tell me about the dreams, too?"  
"Like what?"  
"What do you dream about that makes it hard to sleep?"  
"No"  
"No?"  
"I don't want to tell you about that"  
"Okay" Rin sighed for what felt like the tenth time. "If you change your mind, I'll be here"  
"And when you're not?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"You'll leave again soon. Right?"  
"No" Rin frowned slightly, shaking his head "I'm back, Haru, I'm not going anywhere"  
"Australia?"  
"No, I'm done. I've done what I needed to do, and now I'm back. I want to swim for Japan. With you, preferably"  
"Oh"  
"Is that okay with you?"  
"Yeah"

Rin watched as Haru curled up in bed, considering him with eyes full of concern and fear, and contemplated his words.  
"Hey, Haru... I'm going to start cooking for you, okay? I worry that you're not eating enough"  
"Okay" he mumbled, pulling the blankets up over his shoulders. "As long as there's mackerel"  
"Yeah, I can do that. Other stuff too though, you need vegetables and things"  
"Okay"  
"Does it scare you? When you drift off?"  
"Sometimes"  
"Like when?"  
"When I'm not sure if it's real"  
"Oh, when you think you're dreaming?"  
"Yeah"  
"I can help with that" Rin said softly, brushing his fingertips over a pale cheek "I'm not going to leave you alone anymore, I'll stay by your side until we work this out"  
"Okay"  
"Is that alright with you?"  
"Yeah"  
He turned toward the closet where he knew Haru used to store a spare futon, wondering if it was still there, but didn't quite get a chance to open it and find out.  
"Rin?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Sleeping this morning, was that real?"  
"With me in your bed?"  
"Yeah"  
"Yeah, that was real"  
"Can you do that again?"  
"If you want me to"  
"I slept a lot better"  
"Then yes, absolutely. Give me thirty seconds"  
He ditched his jeans and shirt in the corner, trading for a pair of Haru's sweatpants that were a tiny bit too short, but easily bearable. When he slid under the blankets he felt Haru immediately relax into him, and Rin didn't hesitate to return the gesture, hugging him close to his chest.  
"Haru?"  
"Mm?"  
"This isn't a dream, okay? I'm gonna stay here, and I'm gonna keep you safe and warm, all night. I won't let you go until you're ready to get out of bed, I promise"  
"Thank you"  
"My pleasure"


	2. Chapter 2

Somehow, whether it be by the grace of some God or just a brief reprieve to keep him alive, Haru slept through the night. No waking up to recurring dreams or nightmares, no tossing and turning in the dark room, just good, solid rest.  
"Rin?"  
"Huh?" Rin groaned and yawned "Yeah? Are you okay?"  
"Yeah"  
"Good"  
"Thank you"  
"What? For what?"  
"For... this" he mumbled, touching Rin's arm lightly, still holding tight around his waist "I... I slept well"  
"Oh, that's good. I'll be here every night, okay? For as long as you want me"  
"Thank you"  
He sat up with a last fond pat to Haru's side, smiling when the boy wriggled a little at his touch, and paused for a moment to cover his mouth as a yawn wracked his body.  
"Shower and breakfast" he mumbled "I'll let you know when you can have the bath"  
"Okay"  
He did his best to get in and out quickly, nervous about what might happen while he was gone, and started the bath filling as he finished. Lukewarm, like Haru seemed to like it. There was a hairdryer under the sink that he took back to the bedroom with him, letting his fingertips brush over Haru's back as he hunted down an outlet.  
"Bath is running. You okay?"  
"I'm fine"  
"Good"  
Haru hauled himself out of the bed and rummaged on the floor for his clothes from yesterday, which made Rin frown a little.  
"Have you not done your laundry?"  
"I have"  
"Then wear something clean"  
"But..."  
He trailed off, staring at the shirt in his hands, and Rin slowly started to catch on.  
"My bag is in the hall" he said softly "if you want to take one of mine"  
"Can I?"  
"Yeah, of course"  
He ditched the dirty stuff finally and began to head for the bathroom, lingering in the doorway to watch for a moment as Rin aimed the dryer at his head.  
"You don't need to say it" Rin told him knowingly, before he'd gotten the words out "Like, ever. It's fine. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be"  
"Okay"

Rin leaned over the bathtub, smiling as he poked Haru's face gently.   
"Breakfast is ready, come eat"  
"Quit it"  
"Come on, you need a hand?"  
"I'm fine"  
He accepted Rin's outstretched hand anyway, letting Rin help him to his feet and over the edge of the tub. It was colder this morning, so he didn't complain when Rin pulled a big, fluffy towel around his shoulders and bundled him up tight in it.   
"Throw something warm on and come get some food"  
"Okay"  
Haru's skin tingled where Rin's fingertips brushed against it one last time, and he watched the man leave with a sense of wonder and disbelief.  
He was actually here. It wasn't a dream.  
The shirt he pulled on confirmed that. There was no way he'd gone out and bought it himself, plus it was rather too big for him. The pants were his own, though, he hadn't quite gone _that_ far. It didn't take long for him to be downstairs, sitting cross-legged on a cushion at the table, watching Rin fumble plates and bowls and glasses in front of him.  
"Here, I know it's not what you normally eat but like I said, I'm worried about what you've been eating – or if you have at all – so at least give it a chance, okay?"  
"Rin."  
"Yeah?"  
"It's fine, stop fussing."  
"Okay" he smiled slightly, stopping to watch as Haru picked up his chopsticks. "Dig in"  
Rin left briefly while he ate, returning to drape a thick hoodie around Haru's shoulders, and he knew from his first whiff of the familiar scent that it was one of Rin's – marred with his soaps and shampoos and a faint hint of old chlorine that Haru, too, always failed to get out of his clothes. There were goosebumps on his arms, and Haru wasn't entirely sure if they'd come from being cold or from something else.  
"Is it cool if I go see my family while you're training? Gou is probably freaking out by now that I haven't shown up"  
"Yeah"  
"Are you sure? I can wait until you finish if you prefer, but then you'd have to come with me"  
"It's fine"  
"Okay"

It was a little strange to be back in his old house, laughing as his sister hugged him, assuring his mother he'd been taking care of himself. They'd known he was coming back, but he supposed he'd never given them an actual date, seeing as they didn't seem to know he was due – or that he'd already been there for a day.   
"It's been so lonely with you gone!" Gou complained, clinging to his strong arm "I've missed you!"  
"What are you talking about? We didn't hang out much last year anyway"  
"But I still liked knowing you were _there_ "  
"Okay, well, I'm sorry" he laughed, hugging her again briefly "I'm back now, it's okay"  
"For how long?"  
"Ah... I wasn't planning to leave again"  
"Really?!"  
She practically dove on him, and he had to take a step back for balance, laughing at her unprecedented enthusiasm.  
"This is the reaction I wanted" he grinned "everyone else was just so unfeeling when I told them"  
"You mean I was the last to know?!"  
"I mean... I wouldn't say last"  
"But you told people before me?! Who?!"  
He didn't answer right away, and Gou's mood seemed to quickly fade as her arms slid off her brother's waist.  
"You saw him?"  
"Yeah"  
"What did he say?"  
"Nothing really, you know him, he doesn't really talk"  
"We all tried to visit him, tried to get him to come out and do stuff. Watched all his events, tried to take him out to celebrate after his wins... At first he kind of reluctantly went along with it, but over time he just..."  
"Yeah, I know" Rin grimaced "I've heard some stories"  
"The first time Makoto visited he was almost normal again, actually came out to do stuff. The second time he didn't even get up to open the door. He's due back again tonight, but I'm not sure Haruka will see him. I don't know what to do"  
"I know it's pretty much impossible, but right now he really needs people. Just knowing you guys are there will help, even if he never takes you up on your offers, okay?"  
"You think so?"  
"I know so. I'm glad you were here to look out for him"  
"Yeah" she smiled softly "We all take food over on occasion too, just to make sure he eats a decent meal every now and again. I think Makoto's mother takes him leftovers as well."  
Well that explained the stack of containers he'd found in the kitchen.  
"You're such a good friend" Rin laughed, hugging her tightly "I taught you well"  
"Onii-chan, quit it" she whined with no real conviction behind it, her face squished against his chest. "Come onnn"  
"I'll tell you what" he grinned, dropping his arms to pinch her cheeks, making it impossible for her to pout. "Why don't we celebrate Makoto and I being back home? Grab a bunch of pizza and we'll just show up on his doorstep, not give him a chance to say no. Surely even Haru can't be depressed with all his friends around him partying."  
"You think that'll work?"  
"I'll make sure of it"  
"Okay, I'll go call the others" she beamed, glancing back as she reached the living room doorway "I'm really glad you're home"  
"Me too"

Haru got home to the sound of plastic bags rustling and doors opening and closing. With a sigh he went to investigate, and found a gleeful Rin unpacking groceries in his kitchen.  
"Welcome back, how was training?"  
"Fine"  
"Make any good times?"  
"Don't know"  
"Did you eat lunch?"  
"Not really"  
"Here"  
He picked up a bowl from the counter, already lying in wait, and held it out to Haru.  
"What is it?"  
"Pasta"  
He picked at it a little but eventually conceded, and when he took his bowl to the sink Rin was relieved to see it was empty.  
"I'll do it if you want, you should rest"  
"I'm fine"  
"I cleaned up a little while you were out, figured I should stop leaving my dirty socks all over your house"  
"Good"  
"And I invited some people over"  
"You did what?"  
Haru whirled around, and Rin couldn't quite tell if he was annoyed or just surprised.  
"Makoto gets back tonight, I figured you'd want to see him, so I asked the whole gang over for pizza"  
"What makes you think you can invite people to my house?"  
"Come on, Haru, they miss you. Apparently you ignore their calls and won't accept their invites?"  
"Well, yeah"  
"So get it together for one night and let them come over and celebrate Makoto and I being back home. Okay?"  
"That wasn't a question, was it?"  
"Nope, it's too late" Rin laughed, stowing plastic bags away in the recycling bin "They'll be here in about an hour, so you don't have time to run away"  
"An hour is plenty" Haru grumbled, but made no move to leave "How long will they be here?"  
"A few hours, probably. You'll survive"  
"Maybe" he muttered "Fine"  
"Good boy" Rin teased, patting his head lightly. "You should probably get changed though, I can't tell if that's water or sweat"  
"Water" he sighed, but obediently made for his bedroom. "Don't go doing this again"  
"Doing what?"  
"Inviting people over without asking me"  
"But if I asked you'd say no"  
"Exactly"


	3. Chapter 3

Nagisa was the first one to the door, with his usual overzealous enthusiasm, but Rin didn't really mind the big hugs and nonsensical streams of consciousness that came with him. Haru was a little – well, a lot – less eager to be pounced on, but Rin was happy to see he at least didn't push the boy away. Nagisa had tears in his eyes when he let go, and Haru's face betrayed him, with confusion and apprehension showing in his normally stoic features.  
"What's with you?" Rin sighed, punching him lightly. "Seriously"  
"It's been so long since Haru-chan has let me hug him" Nagisa explained, his voice shuddering. "Are you dying?"  
"Figured it had been a while" Haru mumbled, shrugging it off.  
"Noone is dying" Rin laughed, holding out an arm when Nagisa approached him again "I thought you'd have grown out of this by now"  
"Like you can talk" Haru scoffed quietly "biggest crybaby I know"  
"Shut up!"  
It wasn't long before the rest of the guests started to trickle in, and Rin slowly remembered that part of this celebration was for _him_ , because he was back, and he hadn't seen these people in a year. Somehow the fact had completely slipped his mind, and he found himself sharing stories he'd told a thousand times, but getting laughs from a brand new audience of people. There was a mountain of pizza boxes on the table, that Gou had set down and firmly told them all not to touch before the rest of the guests arrived, but the smell was enticing. Rin had been careful about his eating habits while he'd been away, had learned to cook healthy, filling food for himself, but the pizza smelled so good he didn't know how he'd resisted temptation for so long.   
"There's our hero!" Rin beamed when Makoto arrived, stealing the box of beer from his hand before people began to bombard him with hugs. "I wasn't sure you'd do it"  
"You say that like I've never had a drink" Makoto laughed "Although I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable supplying it to people who are underage"  
"What happens after you set the box down is outside of your control"  
"Just as long as everyone is being safe"  
"You have no idea what I went through for this" Rin told him, as he hunted for a bottle opener "I show up to the store, no big deal, walk in and pick up a box, hand over my ID when he asks, and this guy just goes 'how old are you?' and I go 'I'm nineteen' and kind of point at the card, and he gives me the deadliest stare in the world like he thinks I'm an idiot or something. And it's not until _right then_ that I finally realise the drinking age is different. Like, I've been going out to bars, taking victory shots, no problem at all, and suddenly I'm being looked at like I'm the biggest piece of scum in the world for trying to buy a couple of beers. It's ridiculous!"  
"Happy to help" Makoto laughed "I kind of wish I'd been there"  
"I was so damn embarrassed. And I go 'oh my gosh I'm so sorry, I've been in Australia for like a year' and this guy just grunts at me like 'yeah, sure, whatever' and I'm just the idiot kid trying to buy alcohol without even getting a fake ID"  
Makoto held out his keys, smiling faintly, and Rin was relieved to see a bottle opener hanging off it, since Haru appeared to own nothing of the sort. He popped a few lids and took a long, satisfying swig from one of the bottles, offering Makoto back the keys.  
"You are now the almighty bottle-keeper"   
Makoto pulled it off the ring and opened another bottle before he tossed it back to Rin, smiling wryly.  
"Sounds like your tolerance is probably better than mine"  
"Noted"  
The two of them leaned against the bench, listening to the laughter in the next room, and Makoto's smile was a little sad as they exchanged a knowing look.  
"How long have you been back?"  
"Less than two days"  
"Has he seemed okay?"  
"Not really"  
"He's been getting worse and worse over the course of the year. The others try to make it sound like everything's okay, so I don't worry about him, but they're not the greatest liars in the world"  
"I didn't know anything was going on until I got back here and he was acting kind of weird. I just thought he was mad at me"  
"Well, he was probably that too"  
"Yeah" Rin smiled faintly, taking another sip of beer "it sounds like we're going to miss out on pizza if we're in here much longer"  
"Keep me updated, okay? At least as long as you're here. I will too"  
"Y-Yeah, thank you. I will"  
They each took a couple of extra beers in hand, doling them out to the older party guests, and Rin frowned when Gou sidled up to him, acting all sweet and nice.  
"No" he said firmly, before she could even ask "you're not eighteen"  
"You can't just use Australia as your guide, that's not fair. There must be countries where seventeen is okay, I can use them as mine"  
"Not happening"  
"You're so mean"  
He sighed, considering her little pout, and offered her his bottle.  
"One sip" he insisted as she accepted it "that's all"  
"You're the best" she grinned, sitting down next to him and taking a long gulp, immediately pulling a face. "Ugh. That's not even good"  
"Suit yourself" he smirked, snatching it back. "More for me"  
There was still one full bottle left in his hand, and he offered it to Haru at his other side, a little surprised when he actually took it.  
"Just be careful, okay?" he mumbled "it might make you..."  
"Yeah"  
Haru remained quiet, but it was a different kind of quiet, like maybe there was a tiny hint of peacefulness and satisfaction in it. Occasionally Rin let his knee nudge Haru's leg, or drifted his fingertips over his arm, but he never saw the telltale jump he'd come to recognise.

Makoto handed a disk over to Rei and watched him decipher Haru's television, while the rest of them watched on with curiosity. Rin groaned loudly when the image came up, immediately catching on, and Makoto laughed at him as he burned red.  
"Where did you get this?!" he insisted, as a group of them laughed at him "Why do you have this?!"  
"We watch Haru-chan's meets all the time" Nagisa pointed out with a grin, "but we never get a chance to see yours. This is the closest we can get"  
"They're not exciting to watch, trust me"  
"I'd like to watch" Haru mumbled "I missed it"  
"Then it's settled" Rei announced, hitting the play button "You're outnumbered, Rin-san"  
He sighed, but gave up arguing, slumping against the wall reluctantly. When he looked over, Haru's eyes were fixated on the screen, and despite himself he managed to crack a tiny smile at how enthralled his friend had become.   
That is, until he heard the announcement for the next event.  
"Oh God, don't look" he said frantically, slamming a hand over Haru's eyes "skip it, fast forward or whatever"  
"Rin, stop" Haru muttered, slapping his hand away "Let me watch"  
"It's terrible, don't look"  
"Stop it"  
He shoved Rin's hand back to his leg, pinning it in place, and turned his attention back to the screen to watch Rin's miserable failure. He groaned to himself as they all watched eagerly, considering whether he could make a successful grab for the remote without breaking anything. Finally he settled for looking away, fixing his gaze and his scowl on his own lap while the rest of them made pitying noises.   
"Well that's not a qualifying time" Haru said, to admonishing looks from their friends. "Why did you ask about my times if you can't get your own?"  
"Haru!" Makoto insisted, looking appalled. "That's needlessly cruel!"  
"It's okay, Makoto" Rin sighed "It's true, he's right"  
Truthfully, he'd thought much harsher words about the race. About his stumbling dive, the flustered frustration that stopped him from recovering, that knocked him out of his first damned heat of a four day competition. He was embarrassed, ridiculously so, and Haru's hand squeezed a little tighter. Truth be told, Rin hadn't noticed it was still there, keeping him from covering the screen. He felt like it should be awkward or uncomfortable, but somehow he hadn't even realised. He could see in Haru's eyes that he was starting to catch on, and they exchanged a look as Rei began to fast forward for Rin's next event.   
"Is this the day?"  
"Yeah"  
Haru nodded understandingly and Rin grimaced to himself, remembering his damn choking voice, the tears bursting from him as he curled in the corner of an abandoned locker room. He'd poured his heart out, all his pain and fear and anger, to a god-damned answer phone. He hadn't even been sure Haru would listen to it, so when he'd gotten the email – really Haru, of all things, an email? – it had been a pretty severe shock.  
'Just win the next one'  
He still had that email saved on his phone.  
He felt a little redeemed as they looked through his next races, his gold and his silvers, his times perfectly adequate for the qualifications he wanted. It was just that one damn event, the one he'd wanted so badly to do well in, the one he'd wanted for-  
The hand squeezed a little tighter again, and Rin looked over at a tiny little smile, taking more enjoyment from that sight than from the image of the podium onscreen, of Rin holding a shining medal in his trembling fingers.  
"And you were upset" Haru scoffed quietly. "Should have just tried harder the first time"  
Rin tore his hand away like it burned, staring at him in horror. After a minute he nudged Rin's thigh with his knee, and Rin felt like it almost could have been an apology, despite the typically blank look in Haru's face when he glanced over again.

The house got quieter and quieter as people slowly began to take their leave, bidding farewells and exchanging new phone numbers, making plans and promises that probably wouldn't be kept.   
"I'll walk you home, Gou" Nagisa offered, surprisingly soft in his smile "I think Rin-chan wants to stay a little longer"  
"Thank you" she agreed, nodding faintly "I'll see you later, Onii-chan"  
"Yeah, sleep well" he grunted a little as he stood to hug her goodbye "I'll text you"  
"Thanks for having us over, Haruka-senpai" she smiled warmly "It was fun, I'll see you again soon, right?"  
"S-Sure, yeah," Haru nodded. "Goodnight."  
With a last ridiculously enthusiastic hug from Nagisa, and a handshake from Rei, the three of them made their departure and left Rin and Haru alone again in the living room.   
"Wasn't so bad, was it?" Rin smiled wryly "Seeing all your old friends?"  
"I guess"  
"You should make more effort, you might be surprised how much you enjoy it"  
Haru shrugged vaguely, and Rin sighed at him.  
"If nothing else, isn't it better if you have people around you? If you're not alone?"  
"That's what you're for"  
"Yeah, true." He laughed, shaking his head fondly, "but really, they all missed you. I know you don't get what that's like, but it's... hard"  
"I do"  
"What?"  
"I know. Of course I know. You left, and then you came back, and then Makoto left, and then you left _again_. I'm tired of people leaving, it's... it's not worth it"  
"But I came back. So did Makoto, he's literally right over there." Rin pointed at the window which faced Makoto's house, "even if people leave, they come back."  
"You don't get it"  
"Then explain it to me"  
"I'm... I'm the one who gets left behind. You're the one who leaves. So maybe you miss people when you're gone, but... but you're the one who chose to go. You're not the one who was left behind."  
"Haru..."  
"Don't"  
"Haru, I'm not leaving"  
"That's not the point"  
"I know, and I'm sorry I made you feel like this. But I'm not leaving, so let's move on and make things better, okay?"  
"Things being better now just makes it worse later"  
"Why would it be worse later?"  
"Because it'll happen again"  
"Aren't you listening to me? I'm not going anywhere. Ever. I mean, sure, for competitions here and there, but I would assume you're coming with me for those"  
"Ever?"  
"Yeah, ever" Rin said softly "I'm not letting go of you again"  
"You're staying here? With me?"  
"Yes"  
"Forever?"  
"For as long as you want me"  
For what might have been the first time in his life, it was Haru who hugged him first, and Rin laughed as he held him tightly, savouring the moment before Haru would come to his senses and back away.  
"So forever" Haru mumbled  
"Yeah" Rin smiled at him, rubbing his back lightly. "Forever"


	4. Chapter 4

It was late in the afternoon, and the sun was already beginning to set, which Rin thought he'd never get used to again after being in Australia for so long. He'd finally confessed to his mother and sister that he would be staying at Haru's place for the foreseeable future, and thankfully Gou had understood his concern, had agreed that it was a good idea for someone to be with him.   
She didn't know the half of it.  
Makoto had been visiting when he left, but now Rin was in a rush to get back, praying that Haru wouldn't be zoned out when he got back – or worse. He didn't bother to knock as he pulled the door open, unlocked as usual, and slipped his shoes off at the door. Another thing he'd had to get re-accustomed to. It was strange how quickly and easily some parts of Australian culture had seeped into him.  
"Do you think you'll come back to Tokyo soon?"  
Rin froze when he heard Makoto's voice, then smiled slightly to himself. Makoto had stayed, had waited for Rin to come back.  
"I don't know"  
"It's lonely there without you"  
"Things got... messed up"  
"I know. You know you can talk to me, right? If there's anything bothering you?"  
"I know"  
"But you're okay? For the most part?"  
"Yeah"  
"Okay, that's good"  
Rin slid the door back a little and closed it a bit more heavily, taking heavy steps down the hall.  
"Hey, I'm back."  
"Welcome back" Makoto smiled warmly at him "I should go home for dinner, do you two have food?"  
"Yeah, Rin went shopping" Haru nodded faintly  
"I'll see you tomorrow, then"  
"See you then"  
Rin and Makoto exchanged a knowing little smile as they crossed paths, and Rin dropped to his knees at Haru's side, leaning one arm against the table to look at him.  
"Have a good day?"  
"Yeah"  
"I'm glad. Did you do anything exciting?"  
"Watched more of your races"  
"Very funny"  
"Makoto recorded them all, for when I decided I wanted to see them"  
"Are you serious?"  
"Yeah"  
"You two are the worst friends ever" Rin sulked, folding his arms "You could have asked me, at least"  
"Too late"  
"Seriously" Rin sighed "Most of them were terrible"  
"Some were good"  
"Not many"  
"Not free" Haru cracked a little smirk "never free"  
"Yeah, I know" Rin grimaced "I lost it somehow while I was gone. Maybe I'll get it back if I swim against you"  
"Maybe"  
"Can we?"  
"One day"  
"You're the worst"  
"Aren't you entering the competition next month? If you're here forever?"  
"Yeah, hopefully"  
"Then we'll race there. Not before"  
"You're mean"  
"It'll be better that way"  
"Are you afraid to compete against me?"  
"With a fifty in the hundred metres?" Haru scoffed "No-one is scared of you"  
"Ouch!"  
"Are you denying it?"  
"Well... No, not really" Rin grimaced "I'll beat you on the day. Promise"  
"Maybe if I lose a leg"  
"You're mean today!"  
Haru cracked a little smile, and despite himself Rin couldn't help but return it. He offered it with a playful punch just for good measure, before he stormed out of the room, surprised to hear Haru follow him.  
"I just had to use the bathroom" Rin assured him "I wasn't actually mad"  
"Oh. Okay"  
"I'll be back soon" he laughed "put a pot of water on the stove for me"  
"Okay"  
Rin smiled slightly as his back as he diverted his course to the kitchen, shaking his head fondly as he went the other way down the hall.

"Why are you so worried about me?" Haru mumbled into the darkness, not entirely sure Rin was even awake still. "All of you."  
"Honestly?"  
"Yeah"  
"Because everything we see and hear about what's going on with you just makes it sound more and more like you're depressed"  
"And what if I am?"  
"Then... You might do something. Might hurt yourself or something. And none of us are ready to lose you"  
"I wouldn't do that"  
"You can say it all you want, but it doesn't change the way things look or the way we feel about it. More than anything I just want you to be happy, but if I can't manage that on my own, I at least want to keep you safe until I find a way."  
"I am happy"  
"Are you really?"  
"I mean... Not always. But right now"  
"What's so special about right now?"  
His hand drifted to Rin's arm, wound comfortably around his waist, and Rin squeezed a little tighter to acknowledge it.   
"But I'm not... unhappy. I don't think I'm depressed."  
"I hope not"  
"I think... Maybe I just don't know what I'm doing? And then I get stressed out again, and then I can't sleep properly, and it kind of messes up my thoughts a bit"  
"Do you still sleep better with me here?"  
"Yeah."  
"That's a good first step"  
"And I don't think I've zoned out since I was less tired"  
"Then let's keep the streak going" Rin smiled slightly, snuggling into Haru's back "Go to sleep Haru, I'll be right here"  
"Okay"  
They lay quietly for a few minutes, before Rin's fingers curled lightly against Haru's shirt, and his forehead leaned on Haru's soft hair.  
"Do you think you'll ever go back to Tokyo?"  
"Makoto wants me to"  
"I know"  
"If I was ever depressed, it was there"  
"What happened?"  
"I don't know. Stress? Loneliness?"  
"What if I came with you?"  
"What are you talking about?"  
"It's gotta be better for both of us, right? Career-wise? And then you could have Makoto and I around you all the time, if you needed someone. Not that you don't have a ton of people here, but people you're willing to reach out to"  
"University is not for me"  
"I didn't say university. I just said Tokyo. Nice little apartment for the two of us, looking out over the water, plenty of places nearby to get mackerel for you and anything but mackerel for me. Fancy pools with good coaches."  
"What's wrong with mackerel?"  
"Seriously, you're going to fixate on that?"  
"Would you really go with me?"  
"It would probably be the smartest thing I ever did. But I'm not going without you"  
"I'll think about it"  
"Okay. No hurry, we have all the time in the world"  
"Not if you want to qualify in free"  
"Seriously, stop bringing that up" Rin laughed, pinching Haru's hand where they lay together over his stomach. "I already have three decent times"  
"All for fly"  
"Better than most people. Do you have any?"  
"Only from before I came back here"  
"They'll still count for something, if that's what you want to do"  
"Yeah"  
"Yeah?"  
"It is. I know that much"  
"I'm glad. Now seriously, get some sleep"  
"You were the one who started it" Haru grumbled, but obediently curled in tighter to Rin's warm body. "Don't blame me"  
"Sorry. Goodnight"  
"Night Rin"


	5. Chapter 5

"Haru, Haru!"  
The voice cut through his thoughts, made his eyes snap open on blurred vision. A gentle hand brushed over his cheek, and slowly he came to focus on dim red eyes and and a concerned frown.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Y-Yeah"  
His voice was strangely choked up as it came out, but he wasn't entirely sure why. Rin was holding him tightly, and after a moment he realised his fingers were clawing at Rin's arms, and quickly loosened his grip.  
"Sorry" he mumbled faintly, cringing when he saw beads of blood forming in the little half moon ridges left by his fingernails. "I... I didn't..."  
"It's fine" Rin assured him, shaking his head "what's wrong?"  
"I... I don't know. I guess I was dreaming"  
"What were you dreaming about?"  
"I don't remember"  
Rin hugged him a little tighter, and he let his head drop to Rin's warm chest, trying and failing to recall what could have upset him so much. The dream which usually caused him stress had already vanished, rendered useless since Rin had been at his side, but clearly something had reared its head to take the place.   
"I used to have this dream" he started, on a sudden whim "every night, the same thing"  
Rin didn't say anything, just held him and waited for him to continue, his heartbeat thumping steadily under Haru's cheek.  
"I would wake up because someone was at the door, and they wouldn't go away no matter how long I ignored it, and when I opened the door you were standing there waiting for me"  
"Oh" Rin let out a long, slow breath "Every night?"  
"Yeah. Over time I started to realise I was dreaming"  
"Is that why you slammed the door on me?"  
"Yeah"  
"I forgive you, if that's what you're worried about" Rin smirked "I hope that's not what you're losing sleep over"  
"No, I just... Sometimes I think I'm going to wake up and you won't be here. That maybe this is just... the dream getting more creative"  
"Not going to happen"  
"Maybe that's what I was dreaming, though. I don't really remember, but I feel like maybe I woke up without you here"  
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise"  
"Thank you"  
He wound one of his legs through Rin's lightly, curving his body into every little gap Rin consisted of. His fingertips ran over the marks on Rin's skin where his nails had broken through, and he gave Rin an apologetic look as he brushed away little pinpricks of blood.  
"Really, it's okay" Rin assured him again "It didn't hurt, I was just worried about you"  
"I'm still sorry"  
"I know, but I mean it, it's fine"  
"Can I kiss you?"  
Rin froze, staring at him like he wasn't sure he'd heard the words right, and Haru stared back with wide, clear eyes.  
"Do you want to?"  
"Yeah"  
"Then yeah, okay"  
Haru didn't even hesitate, running one hand around to the back of Rin's neck and pulling their lips together hurriedly, like he thought Rin might change his mind. Rin was at least ninety percent sure this was Haru's first kiss, and that thought alone made him blush, doing his best not to think about it as he let Haru lead.  
They were both just as embarrassed as each other when they parted, and Rin shook his head when Haru started to mumble an apology.  
"What did you think?" He couldn't help but tease a little. "Think kissing is something you could get on board with?"  
"Kissing you?"  
"Well... Yeah, or in general"  
"Maybe"  
"That's better than a no" Rin smiled wryly "I can work with maybe"  
"What, you think you can convince me or something?" Haru scoffed  
"Yeah, I reckon"  
"Go on then"  
"Really?"  
"You let me kiss you, it's only fair to let you kiss me back"  
"Sounds like you already enjoyed it" Rin smirked, lowering a hand to the small of Haru's back to pull him in closer, the other one running through silky hair. "Fine"  
He didn't hold back this time, didn't restrain himself nearly as much as he parted Haru's lips lightly, quickly finding his tongue with his own. Their bodies were pressed tightly together, and Rin made sure to keep it that way as he tangled his fingers lightly in the dark hair. He wanted to bite, wanted to mar the smooth skin of Haru's neck, but he settled for nipping at his lower lip and smirking at the little gasp it incited.   
"Oh" Haru said breathlessly, when Rin let him come up for air "I... yeah, maybe you can convince me"  
"You mean I haven't already? I'm offended"  
"Can you teach me to do that?"  
"Yeah" Rin smirked "You just need a little more practice"  
"With you?"  
"If you want"  
Haru's eyes were staring at his lips, and he couldn't resist a smirk.  
"If you want to kiss me again, you can. You don't have to wait for permission"  
"What if I want you to kiss me instead?"  
"Then you start and I'll join in"  
"And what if you want to kiss me? Will you just do it too?"  
"Haru, just shut up and kiss me"

By the time the sun came up, the pair were both well and truly awake. Haru lay on his back, breathing heavily, as Rin propped himself up on his elbow with a self-satisfied look that couldn't be entirely contained. For someone whose friends had always figured he would never be into anything remotely resembling romance or intimacy, Haru had gotten pretty damn enthusiastic about making out.   
"Don't look so smug" he grumbled, when he met Rin's eyes finally.  
"Can't help it, you're too damn cute and innocent"  
"How many people have you kissed?"  
"A couple"  
"I haven't"  
"I'm aware" Rin chuckled, planting a teasing little kiss on Haru's jaw. "Does that suddenly matter?"  
"I don't know, does it?"  
"You're the one who implied it did, not me" Rin pointed out, kissing the corner of his mouth this time. "What are you worried about?"  
"Doesn't matter"   
Haru turned his head slightly to let the next kiss land on his lips, tentatively pulling Rin a little closer, to support some of Rin's weight on his chest. Rin's hands began to roam, and Haru seemed to grow a little more confident as Rin felt him up, less nervous with his kisses.  
"Here" Rin smirked, taking Haru's free hand and settling it on his lower back, "go nuts"  
Haru blushed a little, but didn't speak. He'd decided an hour ago that his tongue could do much more enjoyable things than talk. It took a little while longer, but eventually his hand drifted, settling a little lower on Rin's lean figure.   
"That's more like it" Rin murmured. "Don't think, just do."  
"Stop talking"  
"Make me"  
His eyes flashed with a moment of daring and his hand slid under the waistband of Rin's pants, squeezing roughly at a firm cheek as he bit Rin's lower lip, getting a grateful little moan in return. The sound seemed to spur him on, and Rin was surprised and a little impressed by how handsy he quickly became, only interrupted by the infuriatingly loud drone of an alarm clock starting.  
"Damn it" Rin groaned, flopping onto his back. "You have to go to training"  
"Yeah" Haru mumbled, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Sorry."  
"Don't be. Plenty more mornings left in our lives."  
"Yeah" he smiled a little this time as he sat up, looking over at Rin's messy hair and half-removed pants. "That was fun."  
"Yeah, it was" Rin said breathlessly, cracking a little smirk. "A lot of fun."

"Are we a thing now?" Haru asked bluntly, as he loaded his bag for the day "Like, a couple?"  
"If you want to be"  
"Yeah"  
"Then yeah, sure. That means you're not allowed to let your pervy teammates stare at you anymore though"  
"They don't"  
"Shows how much attention you pay" Rin scoffed, handing over a water bottle and kissing his cheek lightly "the girls do it all the time"  
"Oh. They aren't my teammates"  
"You know what I mean"  
He smiled slightly, his surprisingly cheerful eyes darting to Rin at his side, and Rin couldn't help but laugh at him.   
"You can tell them all I'm yours, if you want."  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm not going to, but I don't mind if you want to"  
"I know a much easier way"  
"What's that?"  
Rin smirked as he laid a hand on Haru's chest, pushing him up against the wall as they kissed, then slowly worked his lips down to Haru's neck. His eyes sank closed and a little moan escaped him when Rin bit him lightly, then a little harder, then harder again, sucking at the wounds until deep red marks began to show. It was incredibly satisfying, after how much restraint he'd had to show earlier, and Haru's little gasps and moans told him he probably wouldn't have to worry about that in the future.   
"Okay, you should go" Rin spoke softly, right by his ear "or you'll be late"  
"I'd rather stay here" Haru grumbled, cracking an eye open on Rin's smirk "You'll be here after?"  
"Always"  
"Okay"  
Rin slipped one last little kiss on the beautiful bruises before he let Haru off the wall, watching him pull his bag over his shoulder and head for the door.  
"Hey," he smiled softly, "have a good time, okay?"  
"I'll try"

Rin went for a late run, after his morning in bed with Haru, and returned with plenty of time to shower, do some laundry, and tidy up the house before he came back. He was in the middle of making lunch when the door opened, and Haru slammed a hand against the kitchen doorway, fuming.  
"What the hell, Rin?!" he insisted, tugging at the collar of his jacket to expose the trail of purple marks.  
"Looks good on you" Rin smirked, "did the girls leave you alone?"  
"Is that what you meant?!"  
"Well yeah, obviously"  
"The looks and the comments I got all morning, ugh"  
He folded his arms, scowling, and Rin couldn't help but laugh at him.  
"Relax, everyone gets them occasionally. They'll be gone within a week"  
"A week?!"  
"You're cute" Rin laughed again, wiping his hands on a dish towel before he moved to kiss Haru's cheek, getting an indignant look in return. "You seemed to enjoy it at the time."  
"I didn't know I'd deal with the consequences for a week!"  
"But you said I could tell everyone you were mine. Now neither of us has to say a word."  
"You're an evil man"  
"But they look so good" Rin laughed again, unzipping Haru's jacket to look closer "so lovely and dark on your pale skin"  
"Shut up"  
"Fine, I'm sorry" Rin said reluctantly, kissing the bruises lightly "I should have asked properly, I won't do it again"  
"Good," Haru sulked, sneaking a glance at Rin's amused eyes. "It's not funny"  
"It kind of is. Anyone else would have known what I was doing and stopped me if they wanted."  
"I've never dated anyone before!"  
"I know, and that's why your innocence is so cute and amusing. I'll be more careful in the future, make sure you know what's going on."  
"Fine" he scowled. "How do I make it go away faster?"  
"Ah... Easier said than done. I was gentle, it should only be a few days."  
"Great, so I just get days of torment until then?"  
"I'll buy you a scarf if you like"  
"I'm officially going nowhere except training until it's gone"   
"Fine by me"  
Rin shot him a little smirk and Haru flooded red, turning away again indignantly.  
"That's not what I meant"  
"I wasn't implying anything"  
"Shut up, yes you were"  
"I can do the other side to match, if that would help"  
"Don't you dare"  
He cracked a little smile despite himself, amused by the dumb suggestion, and finally softened a little.  
"Never again"  
"I promise" Rin agreed, "but can I enjoy my handiwork in the meantime?"  
"You're ridiculous" Haru grimaced, but obediently peeled off his jacket. "You like them that much?"  
"Uh-huh" Rin grinned, running his fingertips over the marks happily "I told you"  
"Only when I don't have training, then"  
"Deal"

When he heard the knock at the door Haru quickly zipped his jacket up, glaring when Rin laughed at him.  
"Relax, I'll get it"  
He grumbled a little, but lay back in his seat again, staring at the document on his computer screen. He could hear them talking, but couldn't make out any of the words, only the footsteps as they came back. Two sets.  
"Hey, Haru" Makoto smiled warmly. "How are you? I didn't see you at the pool this morning"  
"I had an early one today" he shrugged slightly. "Sorry, didn't know you were going to be there"  
"No, it's cool, just worried you'd gotten sick or something. Will you be around tomorrow?"  
"Ah... Yeah. Early again though. I would hang around, but Rin is dragging me out after. Again."  
Rin raised an eyebrow behind Makoto's back, but decided to be nice and play along.   
"Sorry man, I seem to be laying claim to all his time lately" he laughed easily "I'll be at my mother's for dinner tomorrow, if you want to hang out after we get back?"  
"Haru?"  
"Yeah, I'm cool with grabbing dinner"  
"Great, I'll see you tomorrow then. Just send me a text when you get home"  
"I will"  
"I'd better get home, then. Glad you're doing well, I'll see you tomorrow. Take care"  
"You too, Makoto"  
Rin walked him back to the door, grinning when Makoto gave him a wide-eyed look.  
"He looks good!" he exclaimed in a whisper, "whole conversations and everything?"  
"He says he's been sleeping better, and that has helped a ton"  
"Whatever you're doing, keep doing it!"  
"I will" Rin laughed "He does miss you though, he'll be glad to have your company tomorrow"  
"Yeah, I miss him too sometimes" Makoto admitted with a laugh "Take care, Rin"  
"Yeah, you too"  
He watched out the door until Makoto made it down the stairs safely, shooting him a last wave as he closed the front door. Haru was still staring at his computer screen like nothing had happened, but Rin raised a pointed eyebrow at him.  
"Want to explain?"  
"Take a wild guess" Haru frowned, without bothering to look up "Why do you think I didn't stick around in the pool to see Makoto today, Rin?"  
"You really think Makoto would care?"  
"I think he'd care enough to ask where it came from. Who it came from."  
"Are you that embarrassed to tell people about us?"  
"We're not normal, Rin! Regardless of how long we've known each other, I have no idea what Makoto would say if I told him I was... I was..."  
"Gay?" Rin filled in for him, scowling "If he cares that much about your sexuality, he's not worth your friendship and your time. We are absolutely normal, don't you dare say we're not."  
"How can you say that?!"  
"Because not all of us grew up solely in a narrow-minded little town like this. We're behind the times, Haru. We could make out in the middle of Sydney and no-one would bat an eyelid. It's ridiculous that we're expected to be ashamed of who we are, or who we love!"  
"But we're not in Australia" Haru reminded him, frowning. "It's not the same"  
"But we can make it the same. How is it supposed to become okay if we won't even talk to our closest friends about it?"  
"Then why did you never tell me you were gay before?"  
"Because I didn't know until like a year ago" Rin frowned. "Did you think I'd been hiding it for all these years?"  
"I have"  
"You knew?" Rin asked in disbelief, staring at him with wide eyes. "Since when?"  
"I don't know, years?"  
"I... I just kind of assumed you'd never thought about it"  
Haru shrugged, and suddenly Rin felt terrible for him, trying so hard to not let any weakness show.  
"Haru, come here" Rin said after a moment, holding out his arms. "I need a hug."  
Haru obediently sat his laptop aside and let Rin fold him into his arms, letting out a long breath over Rin's shoulder as he closed his eyes.   
"I'm sorry I didn't know you were struggling with this" Rin said softly, slowly rubbing his back. "I wish I could have helped you"  
"How did you figure out you were...?"  
"Ah... Well I went on a few dates with girls and didn't feel anything, and I met this one guy and kind of went 'sure, let's give it a shot' and that felt far more natural and comfortable. And once I kind of came to terms with that, even though it didn't work out with that one guy, I started thinking about you and I just kind of... knew"  
"Because of me?"  
"Yeah, because I knew I felt something for you that I didn't feel for anyone else"  
Haru didn't answer for a minute as he tried to process, letting himself stay warm and safe in Rin's grasp.  
"I'll tell him" he mumbled, leaning his head against Rin's. "Tomorrow, when he's here"  
"I'm not going to force you"  
"I know. But I will."  
"Okay. I'll be here when you tell him, if you want. Just let me know if you want me to stay"  
"Okay. Thank you"  
"No need," Rin assured him, shaking his head faintly. "Nothing to thank me for."  
"But before that..."  
"Yeah?"  
"I want you to match" Haru mumbled, his cheeks burning, "so you have to suffer too."  
"What?"  
Haru's fingers drifted over Rin's neck, and Rin couldn't help but laugh.  
"Really? Will that make you feel better about it?"  
"Yeah"  
"Go on then"  
He hesitated, and Rin smiled wryly.  
"Need me to set the mood first?" He asked, one hand guiding Haru's chin to face him "Need me to get you all worked up?"  
"Shut up"  
"I'll take that as a yes"  
He did his best to hold back, letting Haru take control as soon as their lips met, and it didn't take long for his hands to roam to Rin's hips, pressing their bodies together firmly, and Rin felt himself flush when Haru smirked.  
"Nice to know you're into it" he teased, one hand slipping down to Rin's thigh. "Be good and tilt your head for me a little"  
Rin obediently moved to give Haru easier access, tucking hair back behind one ear to get it out of the way as Haru's lips roamed. It was his turn to struggle for air this time when Haru's teeth grazed his skin, biting a little harder each time as he sucked at sensitive flesh. As a little moan escaped his lips he closed his eyes, and quickly he forgot about the teasing and amused concession he'd started with, just savouring the feel of Haru's touch.


	6. Chapter 6

"God damn, Haru!" Rin exclaimed, staring in the mirror as he fingered his neck and jaw. "You really went all out, didn't you?"  
"You can't blame me, I've never done it before" Haru argued "I don't know how hard I have to do it"  
"At least yours is down where you can cover it with a collar! This is a mess!"  
"It looks good on you" Haru smirked.  
"Jeez, I could wear a turtleneck and a scarf and still not cover it. Thanks a lot"  
"Now you know how I felt in the pool"  
"Yeah, yeah" Rin sighed, feeling the swollen marks with his hand one more time. "Screw it, I'm just gonna own it. My mother and sister are finding out about us today, deal with it."  
"Own it?"  
"I'm just gonna walk in there without any attempt at hiding it and I'm going to proudly tell them that my boyfriend got carried away"  
"Seriously?"  
"Yep, seriously" he grinned, tossing aside the scarf he'd been holding and zipping up his windbreaker. "If I go running now am I going to find you still here when I get back?"  
"No, I'll be at training"  
"Good" he leaned over the bathtub, kissing Haru's cheek and then his neck. "See you later, then."  
"Have fun"  
He left Haru to his bath and headed to the door to put his sneakers on, not bothering to lock the door behind him since he knew Haru wouldn't either. It was cold out, and Rin suspected his daily runs would soon become weekly, if anything. Thankfully, though, there was no rain as of yet. He didn't like to run in the rain.

Gou's eyes widened as she opened the door, too stunned to even hug him hello.  
"I know, I know" he laughed, kicking his shoes off, "we got carried away."  
"Are those what I think they are?"  
"Yep"  
"So you two are...?"  
"Yep. You cool with that?"  
"Of course, I just... Wow, Onii-chan, that looks really bad"  
"I know" he said again, laughing "quickly learned that I can't cover it up, so I didn't bother trying"  
"Does it hurt?"  
"No, not at all"  
"Well... I guess that's something. Wow. He doesn't seem like the type to... Well, you know"  
"In all fairness, I did it first. He was just getting revenge"  
"That... That makes a little more sense, somehow. Is he...?"  
"He's way better" Rin nodded knowingly. "He blames lack of sleep, and he's been sleeping better lately, so he's been doing really well"  
"Is he sleeping better because you're there?"  
"Yeah, pretty much. He was lonely when he came back from Tokyo, didn't feel like he could really talk to anyone without me or Makoto around. So thank you for taking care of him for so long, but I think he's gonna be okay now"  
"For how long?"  
"Well I don't plan on leaving, so hopefully forever" Rin laughed. "We're thinking about giving Tokyo a try though, both of us together, so don't count on me being just down the street"  
"He was really impressive in Tokyo, while it lasted"  
"Yeah?"  
"I didn't know he was capable of the times he was getting. It went away when he got back here, no matter how much everyone here tried to help"  
"Then I'll try harder to convince him. You'll come visit, right? Watch our meets and things? It'll take no time at all if you fly"  
"As long as you're winning enough to pay for the flights, sure" she grinned, hugging him finally. "I'm really glad you're happy, Onii-chan"  
"Thanks, that means a lot"

Rin kicked his shoes off in the doorway, yawning as he headed through to the living room and found Haru and Makoto hanging out, a stack of dirty dishes on the table.   
"Hey" he offered, waving faintly before he picked up the pile "had a good night?"  
"Wow, he really did a number on you" Makoto laughed, and Rin grinned in return. "And here I thought his were bad."  
"He decided he needed revenge" Rin laughed, "he thinks it's embarrassing or something."  
He caught a glimpse of Haru's pout as he turned, laughing again as he carried the plates through to the kitchen and started filling the sink. Through the walls he could still hear the laughter and the barely restrained teasing as he washed the dishes, and he smiled to himself at the thought of how nervous Haru was earlier, how scared he was to tell his best friend, of all people, that they were together.  
"There's chocolate in the fridge if you guys want it" Rin told them, when the dishes were cleaned and dried "I'm gonna head for bed, I'm exhausted"  
He leaned over to kiss the top of Haru's head lightly as he passed, grinning when he flooded red.  
"Yeah, night" Haru mumbled, without looking up. "See you in the morning"  
"Sleep well, Rin" Makoto smiled warmly, "we'll keep the noise down."  
"Thanks" he laughed "I'm sure it won't be a problem"  
An insane amount of relief came with collapsing into the cool sheets, sighing happily as he lay back on his pillow. One hand drifted to his neck again, still amused by the whole incident, and he smiled to himself as he closed his eyes.  
They opened again when he heard the bedroom door open quietly, and soft, slow footsteps make their way toward the bed.  
"It's fine, I'm awake" he yawned, "you don't have to sneak in."  
"Sorry, did we keep you up?"  
"I didn't hear a single sound out of either of you, relax"  
He watched with a little smile as Haru stripped off, just enough moonlight drifting through the crack in the curtains to provide him with a silhouette to watch. Even in shadow, he still had a ridiculously good looking body to stare at, and Rin was more than happy to enjoy the show.  
"Trying to catch a glimpse?" Haru muttered, as he dug for a pair of clean boxers in his drawers. "Real subtle."  
"Who said I was trying to be subtle?" Rin laughed "I wasn't aware I needed to be ashamed."  
"You have no shame anyway, no matter what I do or say"  
"Very true. You should have seen Gou's face this afternoon. Tiny bit amused, tiny bit surprised, vast majority horrified"  
"Well yeah, you made zero attempt to hide it"  
"Why would I want to hide it?"  
Haru finally crawled under the blankets next to him, slipping his hand into Rin's as he got comfortable, and for a moment they just enjoyed the comfort and the silence together.  
"I told Makoto everything"  
"Everything?"  
"The dreams, the zoning out, the questionable reality"  
"Do you still think this isn't real?"  
"Not really. I guess there's just a little part of my mind that still tells me I could wake up at any moment and find out none of it happened."  
"What, you think your imagination came up with this?" Rin laughed, touching the beautiful purple stains on Haru's pale skin. "You didn't even know what I was doing."  
"I know it doesn't make sense, it's just one tiny, dumb piece of my brain"  
"And you told him we were together?"  
"Obviously"  
"Did he react how you expected?"  
"He said he figured it out a while ago"   
Rin caught a glimpse of a smile on Haru's face before he turned it into the shadows again, and he squeezed the warm hand a little tighter.  
"I told you he wouldn't have a problem with it"  
"Yeah"  
"Nor do my family, if that helps at all"  
"Your mother too?"  
"Yep, no problem at all. Wasn't even surprised, when I mentioned your name. I guess I talk about you too much, or something."  
"You talk about me?"  
"Constantly" Rin laughed, turning his head to see the flush of colour in Haru's cheeks. "Why wouldn't I? You're fantastic"  
"Stop sucking up, just tell me what you want"  
"What I want?"  
"You're just trying to soften me up so I won't say no to you, right?"  
"How dare you" Rin laughed again, shaking his head "I'm not trying to get anything from you. Not yet, anyway"  
"Yeah, we'll see about that"  
"You're mean" Rin leaned over to kiss his cheek lightly. "Always assuming the worst of me."  
"Can you blame me?"  
"Not really, no"  
Haru rolled onto his side, pulling Rin back in when he started to lean back again, and Rin smirked rather than immediately oblige. He could see a hint of pleading in Haru's bright eyes, and he ran his fingertip lightly over soft lips.   
"Seems like you're the one who wants something"  
"Don't make me say it"  
"You don't have to say anything, I told you. You don't have to ask permission"  
Regardless, Haru was nervous as his lips moved to Rin's, a world away from the young man who had left the bruises on his neck. Rin gently pulled away after a minute, touching his hand to Haru's cheek lightly.  
"What's wrong? Changed your mind?"  
"No, of course not. I just... Get self-conscious, I guess"  
"Why?"  
"I don't want to do anything wrong"  
"No such thing" Rin smiled wryly, moving his hand to Haru's hip and pulling their bodies closer together. "I can take the lead again if you really want, but I liked it better when you did"  
"Really?"  
"Really. Even if it means more bruises. I'll find a way to cope"  
"Shut up"  
"I know a way you could shut me up"  
Haru's lips were back immediately, a lot stronger this time. He rolled a little until he was partway on top of Rin's body, pressing him into the mattress, and Rin couldn't help but moan as Haru kissed him again and again. He was grateful that their lower halves weren't pressed so tightly together anymore, a little embarrassed by how easily Haru affected him, but the thought was quickly pushed from his mind.   
"God damn, Haru" Rin mumbled, as he gasped for air. "That's more like it."  
"That was okay?"  
"Okay?" Rin asked in disbelief. "Better than okay."  
"Really?"  
"Stop fishing for compliments and kiss me some more"  
"Whatever you say."   
Rin caught a glimpse of a smirk as Haru loomed over him, brushing hair out of the way as he leaned in toward Rin's slightly swollen neck.  
"Seriously?"  
"You said I could"  
"That's true, I did" Rin sighed, "go on, then."  
"Same side or the other side?"  
"Whichever you prefer"  
"Both, then"   
Haru smiled wryly, and gave no build up this time as his teeth dug into Rin's flesh. Despite himself, Rin couldn't hold back another moan, and Haru's satisfaction grew immensely.  
"You are getting so much payback next time you have time off" he said breathlessly, reaching up to run his fingers along Haru's jaw. "You have no idea."  
"Then I'd better make the most of my fun while it lasts"  
"I've created a monster"


	7. Chapter 7

It was a cold morning, despite the bright sunlight streaming in through the windows, and Rin had long since made up his mind that he was not going running. In fact, he was going to stay in bed for as long as he could possibly manage, even with his bladder screaming at him. Haru had cracked open one eye to look at him but quickly slammed it shut again when Rin looked in his direction, at which Rin couldn't help but laugh.  
"I'm not going anywhere, you don't have to pretend you're still sleeping"  
"Okay" Haru smiled sheepishly, leaning his head on Rin's chest comfortably. "You're not going for a run?"  
"Nope, way too cold. I might just stay in bed all day"  
"I'll stay with you"  
"You have to swim"  
"I can call in sick"  
"Don't call in sick"  
"You don't want me to stay?" Haru pouted "Why are you in such a hurry to get rid of me?"  
"Because I have qualifying times and you don't"  
"I've been swimming every day, you haven't been once since you got here"  
"I did! The first day"  
"Sounds like you should be coming with me"  
"Like this?" Rin asked pointedly, waving toward his neck and chest where he could _feel_ the bruises Haru had left behind. "I think I'm gonna stay indoors for a couple of days"  
"You said you weren't ashamed of them"  
"I'm not, but your teammates are going to put two and two together when we show up together like this. Do you really want to be out to everyone just yet?"  
"Oh. Yeah, maybe not"  
"If you can restrain yourself long enough to let them heal, I'll gladly come swimming with you again"  
"Okay. No races though"  
"Spoilsport"  
He caught Haru grin for a brief moment, and lifted a hand to run lightly through the dark hair spilled over his chest. Rin was always a little impressed by how soft it was, considering how much effort it took to keep his own even remotely healthy with all the chlorine. He couldn't imagine Haru put that much effort into his appearance, considering how effortlessly attractive he always looked, and he wondered if he should borrow Haru's bath supplies next time he took a shower. For now, though, Haru seemed perfectly content to just lay there and be petted like a cat, and Rin was more than happy to continue.   
"I should get up" Haru sighed after a minute, without actually moving "I was almost late yesterday"  
"Yeah" Rin smiled faintly "I really need to pee"  
"Thanks for sharing"  
"Do you want me to start the bath while I'm up?"  
"Yeah"  
"Then you need to move your head"  
"Make me"  
Rin laughed and reluctantly slid from beneath him, trying not to be affected by the sulky little pout he got in return. Every morning it was difficult to tear himself away, even knowing that they'd be back there the next day, and the one after that, and the one after that, for what he hoped would be the better part of the rest of their lives. He leaned over and kissed Haru's forehead, taking a moment to inspect the already healing bruises on his skin, before he went to face the music in the mirror.   
"Wow" he muttered to himself, shaking his head "I should never have started this"  
He took a clean hand towel and soaked it in cold water, draping it around his neck with a shiver to help ease the swelling. It was a cold enough morning that he could see his breath in front of his face as he started the bath for Haru and dealt with his own business, then practically dove back into bed.  
"Cold" he explained needlessly, pulling Haru's warm body in tight. "Warm me up."  
"That bad?"  
"I've been back from Sydney for like a week, Haru. It's summer there. I need a little time to get used to it, okay?"  
"So not that bad"  
"Probably not for you"  
Haru took Rin's cold hands and inspected them briefly, eyeing the blue-tinged skin with a hint of a smile before he pressed them to his warm chest and pulled Rin in closer. His body heat felt damn good on Rin's bare torso, and they stayed there for a few long minutes as Haru happily shared his warmth.  
"I should go have a bath now, or I'll run out of time" Haru smiled softly "you stay in bed, I'll handle breakfast for once"  
"Thank you"  
He crawled out and tucked the blankets around Rin's curled up figure, smiling to himself as he pulled a hoodie on over his boxers and headed off toward the bathroom. Rin dozed a little now that he was warm again, smiling to himself as he thought over and over about Haru's touch, his rare bout of protectiveness. When the door opened again Rin looked up to see Haru stripping off his jumper and throwing it at the bed before he turned toward his dresser, and he smiled faintly as he sat up and pulled it on.  
"Better?"  
"Yeah"  
"Breakfast is almost done"  
Rin yawned as he climbed out of bed again, sneaking a look at Haru's back as he pulled on his jammer and tracksuit. Haru rolled his eyes but didn't bother to say anything, just gave Rin a pointed look as he headed back down to the kitchen. Rin rubbed his eyes then followed, settling himself at the table as he waited for Haru to join him, still only half awake.

Despite his complaints about the cold and being tired, when Haru was ready to go Rin found himself bundled in a heavy winter coat and thick scarf that, at first glance, disguised his deep purple bruises. He hadn't intended to go out, let alone to go to the pool, but on a whim he'd decided he needed to see it for himself, and found himself walking through the cold to sit in the stands and watch Haru train.   
He looked good in the water, like he always had. Like he always would. He was strong, he was fast, he was technically near-perfect, but there was something missing. Rin could vividly remember Gou telling him the stories, about how insanely he'd taken off, and how quickly he'd regressed. There was still joy there, he was still happy in the water, which he supposed was a start.  
Determination.  
That was what was lacking. Aim, effort, the drive and stubbornness he had seen at every competition.   
He supposed he'd never seen much of Haru in training, not since they were much younger, and given his personality maybe that had always been Haru's training style. It didn't look right though, in Rin's eyes, didn't look quite like him.  
"What do you call that?" he asked with a little frown, when Haru came near to retrieve his water bottle. "Do you always swim like that?"  
"Like what?"  
"Like you're bored of it all"  
He shrugged as he threw back his drink, and Rin eyed him curiously.  
"Are you sticking around to swim with Makoto after this?"  
"Yeah"  
"Prove you can still beat my time, then. When no-one else is around to watch and judge"  
"Your time? Fifty seconds?"  
"Yeah" Rin answered stubbornly "there was no way those laps just now would have gone under fifty"  
"You underestimate how slow fifty seconds is" Haru scoffed, setting his bottle back down. "Time me while I'm being lazy if you want, I'll still beat you"  
"Fine, I will"  
"Want to put a bet on this?"  
"What do you have in mind?"  
"I'll swim without putting any more effort in than just now, and if I beat your time you have to swim with Makoto and me. Today. I have a spare jammer you can borrow"  
"And when you're wrong?"  
"You can do anything you want, visible marks and all, and I won't complain."  
"Tempting" Rin smirked. "Throw in another pizza party with all our friends and you have a deal"  
"Hell Rin, I'll even pay for the pizza"  
"Go on then. Put in as much effort as you want"  
"Don't need it"  
He spoke to his coach briefly as he passed, pulling his goggles on, and climbed the blocks to prepare. Rin had his phone out, ready to go, and as soon as Haru's feet moved he hit the button. There was still no stubborn determination, like Rin had expected from the challenge, only smooth, almost conceited strokes and kicks. To Rin's annoyance, when Haru made it back he was barely over forty-nine seconds, and he didn't even bother to question it. He shot Rin a little smirk, pointing smugly toward his neck, and Rin burned red as he remembered the purple bruises and obvious tooth marks marring his skin. 

Makoto's eyes were wide as he joined them in the locker room, staring wordlessly at Rin's face as he blushed and turned away.  
"I know" he muttered, ditching his towel on top of Haru's bag "I never should have taught him"  
"Doesn't it _hurt_?"  
"He loves it" Haru smirked, as he returned from the bathroom. "You should hear the noises he makes in the process"  
"Haru!" Rin insisted, shocked and a little offended "You really need to tell people that?"  
"You said I didn't need to keep anything from Makoto" Haru pointed out, draining his water bottle before he threw it back in the bag "and you said you weren't ashamed"  
"Of the marks, not of what goes on in the bedroom!"  
"You should have been more specific"  
Rin scowled, despite Haru's amused smile, and Makoto shook his head faintly as he watched the pair of them.  
"You two haven't changed a bit" he said fondly, as he slipped his goggles around his neck "come on, let's go swim"  
"Let's see if Rin can beat fifty seconds" Haru smirked, without looking back at Rin's stubborn frown "better yet, let's see if Rin can beat Makoto"  
"Don't start with me or you'll be learning fly" Rin muttered, grabbing Haru's spare cap and goggles to follow them "and I'm not kidding"  
"Fine" Haru glanced back at him "might be the only way we get to race in a competition again"  
"If I had something to throw at you, believe me, I would do it"  
"Show me a respectable forty-eight and I'll let you teach me butterfly"  
"What ever happened to 'I only swim free'?" Makoto teased "changed your mind?"  
"No, I trust that it's never gonna happen"  
"Come on, not cool" Rin insisted. "Why are you on my back about this? I keep telling you, I already have qualifications for two other events, it doesn't matter if I get free or not"  
"You said you wanted to race me"  
"And I will! Just maybe not at worlds"  
"Not good enough"  
"Don't be cruel"  
"This is a short course pool anyway" Haru pointed out "you should be able to do forty-sixes easily"  
"Show me your own forty-six then we'll talk"  
"Fine" he shrugged, stepping up to an empty lane and taking his mark "Makoto, call it for me"  
He waited until the big clock nearby came toward the minute, counting down as it got closer, and as he hit zero Haru launched himself into the water. Rin watched in disbelief as Haru swam, still without any sense of determination, though this time at least with some kind of goal, but still with a look on his face like he was only there for the water, not for the times.  
"Forty-five something" Makoto told them, when Haru touched the wall "Looking good"  
"Damn" Haru sighed, accepting Makoto's hand over the side "Still need to get down to forty-five even"  
"You don't need a record right now" Makoto laughed fondly "you can do that at worlds"  
"Worlds will be long course, I want to make the most of this pool. Makes me feel faster."  
"You're plenty fast already, you don't need to manipulate yourself"  
"There's no such thing as fast enough"  
Rin just watched in silence as the two of them debated, surprised and frankly a little confused. It was a side of Haru he had never seen before, one who actually gave a damn about doing well. He'd seen brief flashes of Haru caring before, when he lost a race and became a little sulkier than usual, but hearing him say a word of it out loud was totally foreign to him.  
"Your coach is still holding the spot, he refuses to fill it until the last possible moment, when he's sure you're not coming back"  
Rin snapped out of his thoughts at the word, his head whipping toward Makoto's slightly concerned expression, but Haru only glared in return before he dove back into the water.  
"We talked about it" Rin said quietly, hyper aware of the echo the room brought with it. "He said he'll think about it."  
"That's more than he's given me"  
"I said I would go with him. Figured it's better for both our careers anyway. Then he won't have to worry about feeling isolated"  
"Is that really how he felt?"  
"Yeah. I know you were there too, but I guess it's not the same as having you actually at his side"  
"We didn't see each other as much as I'd have liked. We both got really busy at different times"  
"Did he seem okay to begin with? Gou said he was competing really well"  
"He was fantastic in competition, but I guess he was trying to do too much at once. Maybe studying while he trained was a bad idea"  
"Yeah, we talked about that too. He said there's no way he's going back to university"  
"And you? What do you want to do?"  
"I want to swim"  
"Now you even sound like him" Makoto smiled wryly "that part was obvious. What else do you want to do? Study?"  
"I doubt it. Maybe after I retire."  
"So you'd find a job that fitted with swim times?"  
"Pretty much. Maybe put out feelers for sponsorships, that's what some of the Aussies do. I could coach, if there's a group of older kids looking. I'm not going near the little ones"  
"Why not? It's fun"  
Rin gave him a scathing look and got a grin in return, before they both turned to watch Haru turn into a new lap. His pace was slowing down, no surprise after his long morning, and Rin gave Makoto one last faint smile as he took a few steps toward the water.  
"I'll keep you updated" he offered, climbing up to the blocks "I might need your help with a few things, too"  
"Gladly"

It was a sunny day, despite the cold, so sitting by the big windows of the cafe was pleasant. Rin couldn't think of the last time the three of them had spent time together like this. In fact, he wasn't sure if they ever had. It was nice to see a smile come easily to Haru as they all talked, laughing over Rin's stories from Australia and Makoto's from Tokyo, as they reminisced and planned and dreamed like none of it was a big deal, like they didn't have a single care in the world. There wasn't much time before Makoto left again, heading off for his final classes and exams before he came back for another month. Rin and Makoto were both considering broaching the subject, but were apprehensive and reluctant to risk breaking Haru's good mood. After that break they would be lucky to have another month before the National Team was selected, and Rin was far too conscious of that fact for his own liking.  
"I kind of miss the pool" Haru mumbled, toying with his food.  
"You just got out of the pool" Makoto laughed at him "you miss it already?"  
"No, I mean... The pool I was swimming in when we were in Tokyo"  
"Oh. Yeah, it was a really nice place, right?"  
"Almost as good as Australia"  
"I knew I could steal your heart with Sydney" Rin laughed "But if there's somewhere more local that even remotely compares, I'm keen to see it"  
"You guys should come visit, you can stay at my place" Makoto offered "I'll even let you two have the bed"  
Rin smiled faintly and looked pointedly at Haru, waiting for him to look up from his plate.  
"What do you think? Want to show me the pool you loved?"  
"Yeah, okay"   
He shrugged and took another bite of his food, and Rin suspected it was mostly to give him an excuse to stop talking. Makoto was already repressing excitement, and Rin couldn't help but grin at him.  
"Is it better if we come before exams?"  
"Ah... I don't really mind, but maybe, yeah"  
"So we could just catch the train back with you when you go, right? Stay for a few days, maybe a week, then the two of us will come back and let you study"  
"That sounds good to me. What do you think, Haru?"  
"Isn't that soon?"  
"Yeah, a couple of days. Is that too soon?"  
"No, it's okay" Haru nodded "sure, let's do that"  
"Cool" Rin smiled fondly, ignoring the nervousness that had shown up in Haru's eyes "Is it warmer there, Makoto?"  
"It probably won't snow. It's meant to start soon here"  
"Perfect timing, then. I think I would die in the snow"  
"You were only gone for a year" Haru reminded him "It wasn't that long"  
"But I was only here for a year before that" Rin laughed "And before _that_ I was away for a number of years"  
"And came back to visit every year in winter"  
"And it was awful every time! It's summer right now in Australia, what am I even doing here?"  
"You missed me too much"  
"Yeah, that didn't help" Rin laughed, ignoring Haru's smirk "No idea what I see in you, but apparently there's something there"  
"You two are cute" Makoto teased. "It's about time, it took you long enough"  
"Can you blame me? He just would have run off again if I'd tried earlier. I'm sure he will again soon."  
"I keep telling you, it's not happening. Why does no-one believe me when I say that?"  
"Because every other sentence out of your mouth is about how Australia is so much better than Japan."  
"I wouldn't be here if I thought that" Rin frowned "Do I really sound that way?"  
"Not at all" Makoto assured him, shaking his head. "Haru is just annoyed that you have happy memories he wasn't a part of"  
"I never said that" Haru grimaced "That's not it"  
"What is it, then?" Rin prompted, kicking him lightly under the table. "Talk to me. Talk to us."  
"You two were having the best time of your lives" Haru shrugged.  
"And?"  
"And he wasn't" Makoto finished for him, when he didn't speak "We had great years while he was miserable"  
"Believe me, Haru, I wouldn't have had a great year if I'd known" Rin told him, his smile fading away quickly "I wish I had been here for you, I really do. But I'm here now, okay? And that's what matters"  
"I know"  
"And you alone make Japan a thousand times better than Australia"  
"Shut up" Haru scoffed, turning away in an attempt to hide his flushed cheeks. "Don't start"  
Rin smiled, while Makoto laughed at them more openly, and the two of them exchanged a knowing look while Haru wasn't paying attention. He'd expected things to be a little awkward with Makoto, since they'd had almost a rivalry going for Haru's attention for most of their lives. But Makoto stayed true to his typical nature and seemed to be genuinely happy for them, and Rin was starting to feel like maybe he made a decent ally.

"We can do it at my house again" Haru offered in a mumble "If you want"  
"That would be great" Makoto smiled softly, "thank you, everyone will appreciate it"  
"It's fine"  
"I'll go ahead and make the plans, then. Eight?"  
"Sounds good" Rin agreed, when Haru didn't answer "I'll buy some snacks, you bring the beer"  
"Gladly"  
They parted ways and Rin took Haru's hand, leading him silently up the stairs. There was a thoughtful look on Haru's face, and Rin wasn't ready to disrupt it, instead electing to let him work it all out for himself. His hand stayed in Rin's, his fingers clutching back just tightly enough to tell Rin he was still awake and conscious, so Rin proceeded to drag him around the house as he tidied up a little and threw their damp gear in the laundry.  
"If you decide to go back to Australia..." Haru began.   
His voice was faint, and trailed off as he thought about the rest of his sentence a little longer. Rin shook his head, giving Haru a stern look, and squeezed his hand a little tighter.  
"I'm not. I told you."  
"Don't" Haru shook his head, but his expression didn't change. "Just... If."  
"Okay, I'll humor you" Rin sighed "If I go back to Australia, what?"  
"Will you..."  
"Will I what? Come back? Always"  
He shook his head again, and Rin gave up guessing. Instead he took Haru's other hand so they could lock eyes, both hands clasped in each other's.   
"Will you take me?"  
"You want to go to Australia again?"  
"No, I just..."  
He looked away, and Rin tilted his head a little to consider every line and crease and curve of Haru's face. There was something there, something not entirely empty.  
"Are you embarrassed?" Rin asked, frowning slightly "What is it? You can tell me anything, you know that."  
"Don't leave me"  
"I'm not going to"  
"No, don't- I mean- If you leave, don't leave _me_ "  
"Oh" Rin said softly, finally putting it all together. "If I go to Australia, you want to come with me?"  
"Yeah"  
"Of course. If you want to"  
"Really?"  
"Really. I still don't plan on going back, except maybe on holiday. But if I decide, for whatever reason, that I want to move back there, I would be more than happy to take you with me"  
"Okay"  
Haru's whole body softened, losing a tension Rin felt guilty to have not even noticed, and he squeezed a little tighter at the soft hands in his grasp.   
"Is that all?"  
"Yeah"  
"Okay" Rin smiled, kissing his cheek lightly "We're good now?"  
"Yeah"  
"Then I'm going to go make dinner. And then we're going to curl up with a pile of blankets and watch a movie or something while we eat, I need to be lazy and cozy tonight"  
"Okay" Haru agreed with a little smile of his own, slipping his hands from Rin's "I'll go change and find blankets"  
"Perfect. We make a good team"  
"Yeah" Haru nodded faintly "We do, don't we?"  
He wandered off toward the bedroom and Rin smiled at his back, satisfied by the surprisingly relaxed air that had fallen over him.

When Rin looked over, Haru's eyes were firmly closed, his mouth hanging open a tiny bit to accommodate his slow, even breaths. One of his hands lay loosely on Rin's thigh under the blankets and the table, and Rin considered joining him in sleeping right where they were, where it was already warm. Instead he sighed faintly and turned the heater off with his foot, turning slowly and carefully to lean Haru's head on his chest and scoop the young man into his arms. He suspected if he tried this while Haru was conscious it would be a much more difficult task, since he would complain and blush and argue, but the way things stood made it actually surprisingly easy. Rin wouldn't call himself weak, but Haru wasn't exactly out of shape either, and Rin had expected him to be much heavier. He navigated through to the bedroom without incident, and Haru only stirred a little as Rin tucked him into the bedcovers.   
"Stay sleeping" Rin whispered, kissing his cheek. "No reason to wake up."  
He settled again quickly, with the same peaceful look on his face that could keep Rin up for an extra hour sometimes, just to hold him and watch him soften as he drifted off. It didn't take long for him to empty his bladder and join him in the blankets, snuggling in close and draping his arm over Haru's stomach.   
"Goodnight Haru" he mumbled, as he kissed the warm cheek again. "Sweet dreams"


	8. Chapter 8

Rin woke to a hand on his thigh, dangerously close to his crotch, then lips kissing his neck lightly. He felt dazed and confused, had no idea what time it even was, but he knew the lips that drifted around toward his own.  
"Morning" Haru mumbled, when Rin's eyes drifted open "I don't remember getting in bed"  
"Yeah, you were out of it" Rin yawned "I'm glad I didn't wake you"  
"Did you... Carry me?"  
"Yeah"  
Haru blushed bright red, and Rin couldn't help but smile at his awkwardness.  
"You were too cute to wake" he teased, leaning in for another quick kiss "you slept okay, I take it?"  
"Yeah, I slept well"  
"I'm glad. What time is it?"  
"Ah... Early, sorry. I couldn't get back to sleep"  
"It's alright. Do you need to go get ready for training yet?"  
"No, not for a while"  
"Perfect" Rin smiled, yanking Haru in close and curling both his arms around him. "More time for morning cuddles"  
"I wish you wouldn't phrase it like that"  
"Like what?"  
"Cuddles is a weird word"  
"And you're a weird person, you can't complain"  
He held tight despite Haru's weak protests, only loosening his grip when Haru's hands curled into Rin's shirt, pulling himself up to Rin's lips again. Rin couldn't help but notice that the bruises on his neck were all but gone after only a couple of days, and felt like he'd been far too gentle with the boy. As it stood, he was going to be facing all their friends tonight with his messed up neck and jaw, while none of them would even notice Haru's unless he or Rin drew attention to it.  
"What?" Haru asked knowingly, when he caught Rin staring. "Tell me."  
"You're pretty much healed up" he smiled faintly, brushing fingertips over Haru's smooth skin. "I'm a little jealous and a little disappointed"  
Haru pulled a face as he thought about it, and Rin could see the turmoil running through his mind.  
"I wasn't hinting, don't worry" Rin assured him "I won't, not unless you don't have to swim"  
"I mean..." Haru trailed off, fingering his yellowed bruises lightly "It's not like I didn't enjoy it"  
"I know" Rin smirked, touching his own neck "I guessed as much"  
"Maybe before Tokyo? If I can kind of cover it to talk to my other coach"  
"I can be gentle and try not to leave marks, too, if you really want it. Or..."  
"Or?"  
Rin smirked to himself as the idea hit him, his hand running lightly down Haru's side.  
"Or what?" Haru prompted again "Rin?"  
"Shhh" he grinned, slipping a hand into the waistband of Haru's sweatpants "quiet time"  
He felt Haru tense as he ducked under the blankets, running his fingernails lightly over Haru's legs, and shushed him again when he started to ask. It wasn't long before his protests turned into long, low moans, practically melting as Rin nipped at his inner thighs. He was careful to keep his teeth high enough that they wouldn't push the hemlines of Haru's swimsuit, but he was pretty sure Haru couldn't have cared less at that exact moment in time. It was far too satisfying to watch red marks bloom across his skin in the dim light under the covers, and he heard a sharp gasp when he bit down a little harder than originally intended.  
"Too much?" he asked apologetically  
"Again" Haru said breathlessly, his fingers curling into Rin's hair and nudging his head back down. "More"  
"Yes, Sir"  
Rin smirked, forgetting his concerns and letting his teeth and lips lead the way, enjoying Haru's little noises far too much.  
"Quit it" he smiled wryly, as he poked his head out of the blankets.  
"W-What?"  
Rin pointedly took Haru's arm away from his face, where he had been attempting to stifle his moans, and Haru flooded red in response. He couldn't manage to get any words out, but Rin didn't really care for them anyway, taking far more enjoyment in ducking back into the warm bed and leaving his mark under a pair of pronounced hipbones, where he knew they would just barely be covered, but where Haru would still be a little self-conscious about them. He could see a bulge in Haru's underwear that was all too familiar, since his own pants had been straining a little since the moment he woke up. In a moment of pure evil and torment he drifted closer to it, leaving particularly obvious teeth-marks right at the top of Haru's thighs. Haru was a mess of squirming and gasping, which Rin was overjoyed about as he kissed marks he knew would make gloriously dark bruises that would last for a long time. If he had his way, Haru's legs would practically match his jammers by the time he was finished. He couldn't resist planting a tiny little love bite right on the bone of Haru's hip, delicate enough that it would barely even turn purple, that it would be gone in a day, but enough to remind him what was going on under his swimsuit for the rest of the morning. When Haru seemed suitably exhausted he turned his attention back above the blankets, his hands roaming under Haru's shirt to clutch firmly at his sides and his abs, exploring every inch of muscle as he bit and sucked at Haru's lower lip. Somehow Haru found enough strength to throw an arm around Rin's neck, to kiss him back with an almost frantic madness that drove Rin wild. He left delicate nips and kisses on Haru's neck that he knew wouldn't mark, brought his hands dangerously close to Haru's underwear before they roamed away again, and occasionally let their hips brush together lightly just to feel himself against Haru's form.  
"I'm gonna need more sleep, at this rate" Haru said softly, when Rin gave him an inch to breathe.  
"You still have to go swim"  
"Oh" Haru gasped, touching his neck with wide eyes "Did you...?"  
"Relax" Rin chuckled "no new marks. Not there, at least"  
Finding some semblance of awareness Haru lifted the blankets, stunned by the mess of red marks spreading all over his hips and inner thighs.  
"Damn" he said breathlessly, his fingertips exploring despite causing him to occasionally cringe. "Rin..."  
"All coverable" Rin smirked "so you have no excuses"  
"I'm glad I don't swim in briefs"  
Rin couldn't help but laugh, collapsing on his back to stare at the roof as he got his own breath back, and before long Haru was nudging his way in under Rin's arm for affection. Rin could see the faint movements of the blankets as Haru's fingertips brushed over his thighs, but he didn't say a word about it. His hand drew little circles and lines on Haru's back, made him shiver as they ran down his spine, and he couldn't believe how damn lucky he was to have ended up here in this moment of peace and quiet. He suspected he'd dozed off again when he opened his eyes on Haru's hand roaming his chest, the bright blue eyes rising to meet his after a moment.  
"I have to get up" he mumbled reluctantly "But I don't want to move"  
"You can always come back" Rin smiled softly, reaching over to brush dark hair out of his eyes "You shouldn't skip training for something you can have whenever you want"  
"I know"  
With a faint sigh Rin retracted his arm and sat up, rubbing at his eyes before he climbed out to let Haru up. It was cold again, so he quickly found his hoodie from the night before and bundled up. Haru hauled his sweatpants back up to his hips, covering the mottled scarlet of his legs, and planted a light kiss on Rin's cheek as he passed.

Rin didn't dare say anything about Haru's laziness this time, when he came to retrieve his drink bottle. He could see in the deep blue eyes that he was waiting for it, ready to bite back, but Rin just gave him a tiny smile and dropped his gaze to the tiny purple mark on Haru's hip. He flooded red in response, immediately turning away to look back at the pool, and Rin couldn't help but laugh.  
"Looking good"  
"Don't give me that, I know you still think I'm slacking off"  
"I didn't mean in the pool"  
"Shut up"  
Haru aimed his bottle at Rin's head and Rin quickly ducked it, laughing. It clattered onto the bleachers and Rin snatched it before it could roll behind the seats, grinning as he watched Haru climb straight back onto the starting blocks. When Haru was back in the pool he made a trip to the nearby water fountain, refilling the bottle for later.  
He had been a little worried today, concerned that he would see stress and anxiety in the way Haru swam, that maybe he wasn't as comfortable about their impending trip as he had made out to be. But Haru was Haru, after all, and as far as Rin could tell there was nothing unusual there. He just swam back and forth like nothing in the world mattered other than the water around him.  
He seemed tired, though, by the time he was finished, which Rin suspected was partly due to the extra hours he had been up so far that day. He made a mental note to go easy on him, at least for a couple of hours, so he wouldn't end up too tired to put up with all their friends later in the night.  
He snapped out of his thoughts quickly when Haru came closer, offering him the full water bottle before he clambered to his feet. Haru took a towel from his bag and dried off briefly before he bundled warm clothes over his swimsuit, not saying a word even when he caught Rin watching him.  
"Ready to go?" Rin asked, when he was fully dressed.  
"Yeah" he nodded faintly, picking up his bag. "I'm done"  
"You aren't meant to be meeting Makoto, are you?"  
"He's done working"  
"Okay then. Can we stop and grab some stuff for tonight on the way back? Or would you rather I went out later to do it?"  
"It's fine"  
"Cool"  
He desperately wanted to take Haru's hand as they walked, even knowing Haru would never forgive him for doing it in public. Instead he jammed his hands into his pockets to reassure himself they were under control, settling for sneaking occasional glances over at Haru and watching him flick damp hair out of his face or adjust the waistband of his slightly too big pants.  
Actually, Rin was pretty sure they were _his_ pants, come to think of it.  
"Why are you staring at me?"  
"Because you're cute" Rin grinned, without a moment of hesitation "How could I not?"  
"Seriously"  
"I am serious. It's hard not to admire you"  
Haru rolled his eyes and didn't bother to argue, dropping his gaze back to the concrete path they walked.  
"Are you tired?"  
"A little" he shrugged "it's fine"  
"Sorry"  
"What? Why?"  
"I mean, I didn't exactly help you rest this morning"  
"I was the one who woke you up" Haru reminded him "I fell asleep too early last night, that's not your fault"  
"I guess not. We should take it easy for a few hours, before people show up"  
"Yeah"  
He nudged Haru lightly with his elbow, unable to resist some form of physical contact no matter how remote, and grinned when Haru bumped him back with his shoulder. From anyone else it would be nothing, but Rin knew all too well that from Haru it was affectionate.  
"Snacks" Rin nodded toward the cluster of stores they were approaching. "Won't take long"  
"Why are we doing this, anyway? You lost the bet"  
"Because you're a big softie and you volunteered"  
"You must have drugged me or something"  
"Admit it, you had fun at the last one"  
"You spent way too much of the night fussing over me. There's no way it's going to happen with that many people around, quit worrying"  
"I was more concerned that the alcohol would make you more susceptible to it"  
"Well it didn't"  
"Then I won't monitor your intake this time" Rin laughed "Relax, you could have told me if it bugged you that much"  
"I just did"  
"Yeah, okay" Rin conceded, smiling fondly at him "You coming in or waiting here?"  
"Waiting here"  
"Okay"  
He nudged Haru again, relieved when Haru shoved him back lightly, and grabbed a basket to fill with snacks and drinks.  
"Back in a minute"  
"Take your time"

Haru's head moved a little and Rin glanced down to find closed eyes and soft features against his chest. He suspected Haru had dozed off a while ago, since he hadn't really spoken, and he smiled as he wound an arm around his waist and held him gently. There were still a good few hours before the guests would begin to arrive, so he figured a nap would probably do Haru some good. Not to mention Rin wasn't exactly unhappy about the prospect of having the sleepy young man cuddled up to him for a while. He felt like Haru had progressively been letting his guard down more and more, but when he slept was still the only time Rin could see him look totally vulnerable. And as long as Rin had an arm around him he was generally comfortable and satisfied to boot.  
Rin had taken to looking up information about Tokyo while Haru slept or swam, exploring job possibilities and the cost of rent and bills if Haru decided he wanted to try it again. He had some meager savings from his ventures in Australia, and it seemed like there were a lot of jobs around, only he wasn't entirely sure they would take someone with essentially zero experience. He'd bookmarked a few pages though, that he could come back to later if he needed to, including a few pleas for help with English work from students at Makoto's university. They wouldn't provide him with a ton of cash, but they would at least tide him over until he found something more substantial.  
Looking for sponsors was a different story. He suspected that was where he needed to go if he wanted decent money with time to swim, but he frankly had no idea how to go about it. He had a few old Australian friends he could contact to see what information and advice they could offer him, but he would have to wait until morning for that anyway. So for now he settled on exploring immigration websites that were tailored to people moving to Japan rather than Tokyo, but still felt at least a little bit useful to him. It was strange to be back, after living in Australia for the better part of his recent years, and he still wasn't entirely sure where he really fit in.  
Except here.  
He looked down again at Haru's soft expression, dark hair falling across his eyes as he leaned into Rin's chest, and he smiled as he tightened his arm a little around the young man's waist.  
Yeah, here was what mattered.


	9. Chapter 9

Haru was a little dazed when Rin gently shook him awake, offering him an amused little smile.  
“People are gonna be here soon”  
“Oh”  
He sat up, rubbing at one of his eyes, surprised to find himself sitting in the living room still.  
“Right” he mumbled, finally piecing things together “Sorry”  
“Don't be, it seemed like you could use a nap. Makoto will be here any minute now, I need to get changed. You'll probably want to as well”  
“Why?”  
“We both smell like chlorine enough already without wearing clothes that got soaked in it”  
“Fine” he yawned “I'm taking your shirt again”  
“And my hoodie and my pants, no doubt”  
“I don't take pants”  
“Liar”  
Rin folded away their blankets as he left, stacking them back on the shelves in the corner, and smiled faintly when Haru came back in a hoodie that was really far too big to pass for his own. Haru was staring at him as he squeezed past in the doorway, and as he reached the bottom of the stairs he stopped and looked back pointedly.  
“Something you want to say?”  
“No, it's fine”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah”  
“Suit yourself”  
He quickly got the point when he walked into the bedroom, finding a pair of his old and rather snug-fitting jeans laid out in the bed.  
“Real subtle” he called back, grinning to himself as he pulled them on obediently “Whatever you say, Sir”  
When he got back downstairs he found Haru cleaning up water off the kitchen floor, and gave him a confused look.  
“Everything okay?”  
“You're a jerk” he muttered, his cheeks burning pink  
“What did I do?”  
“Made me spit water everywhere”  
“Is that where all this came from too?” Rin smirked, glancing down at Haru's pants as he stood up “What did I do?”  
“Forget it”  
He turned away to adjust himself, and Rin couldn't help but laugh, winding his arms around Haru's waist.  
“Because I agreed to wear the jeans you like?”  
“No”  
“Because I called you out on it?”  
“No”  
“What, then?”  
“What you called me”  
“Huh? Oh!”  
He moved his hands to Haru's shoulders and turned him around to survey the bright red flush in his cheeks, considering him carefully.  
“You know what 'Sir' means?”  
“My English isn't _that_ terrible”  
“And you liked that?”  
“...Yeah”  
“Okay” Rin smirked “I'll keep it in mind”  
Haru's hand moved lightly through the zip of Rin's hoodie, brushing it aside to touch the dark bruises staining his skin.  
“Sorry”  
“It's okay, I had fun”  
“They're probably going to ask questions”  
“Do you want me to come up with a plausible excuse?”  
“No, it's okay”  
“Alright” Rin smirked, his hands drifting to Haru's hipbones “We should take this opportunity to make out before Makoto gets here”  
“If you insist”

Nagisa froze as he was about to hug Rin, his face immediately going from excited to distraught.  
“What happened?!” he insisted, reaching out to touch Rin's jaw and then thinking better of it “did you have an accident or something?”  
“No, it was entirely intentional” Rin smirked, glancing sideways to see Haru blush “it's fine, it doesn't hurt”  
“What did you do?!”  
“You want to field this one, Haru?”  
“He deserved it”  
Rei's mouth fell open in horror, and Rin laughed as he shook his head quickly.  
“He got carried away when we were making out, that's all”  
“I feel like we've missed something huge here”  
Haru shrugged faintly when they looked at him, not betraying any useful information other than a lack of denial. It took a moment for the words to settle, for everyone to understand, but finally Nagisa's grin came back and he threw his arms around Rin's waist.  
“I'm so happy for you, Rin-chan! Congratulations!”  
“Oi” Haru muttered, folding his arms “only happy for him?”  
He regretted his words immediately when Nagisa attached himself to Haru's side, grabbing him in a bear hug he didn't even bother to try and squirm out of.  
“And you too, Haru-chan! Is that why Rin-chan is here so much?”  
“Yeah, he lives here now”  
“So soon? Wow, you must be so happy together!”  
“He showed up and refused to leave”  
“Don't be mean, Haru-chan, you must be happy to have him here”  
“Yeah”  
“Yeah?”  
“What else do you want me to say?”  
“Yeah doesn't sound happy!”  
Haru managed to free one arm enough to grab the back of Nagisa's shirt and drag him off, shaking his head faintly at the shining eyes watching him.  
“I like having him here. Is that what you wanted?”  
“Is that all?”  
“I had fun making out and I like the bruises a lot”  
“Much better” he grinned, as Rin's cheeks burned. “You're so mean to poor Rin-chan”  
“He started it” Makoto calls from the living room with a laugh “don't let Rin convince you he's the good guy”  
“Mako-chan!”  
Haru let go of the shirt to let him run off to the living room, sighing when he heard the crash that followed. Rin hauled him up when they joined the group in the living room, giving Makoto room to sit up again and brace himself before the little blonde dove at him again.  
“I saw you yesterday” Makoto said fondly, but returned his hug happily “you don't have to get excited every time you see me”  
“But you're leaving tomorrow, right? I have to make the most of it while you're here”  
“I'll be back again soon, you won't even notice I'm gone”  
Rin and Haru exchanged a look, and Haru shrugged as he sat down back in his corner to observe. Rin sat a little in front of him, bridging the gap, and flashed a tiny smile at Makoto before he looked to the rest of their friends.  
“Haru and I are going with him. Haru is going to show me where he was swimming before, and talk to his old coach and stuff. If it goes well we might end up there for the foreseeable future”  
“What?!” Nagisa insisted, strangely upset as he whirled around to look at the three of them “You're all leaving?! Again?!”  
“Nagisa, you finish school soon too” Rin pointed out, raising an eyebrow “what's stopping you from going to Makoto's university if you so desperately want to be with us?”  
“Oh.” A dawning look came over his face as if he'd never considered the idea before. “Right. That's something I could do. And then I could swim with Rin-chan and Haru-chan again?”  
“You could try” Haru scoffed  
“Haru” Makoto reprimanded him quietly  
“Right, sorry. Yes, Nagisa, you can swim with Rin again. Sorry, forgot about the terrible lap times”  
“Haru!”  
“It's okay” Rin laughed, as Makoto readied himself to defend him. “He's just being a jerk, he knows I already have three times in two events ready to go”  
“Only the easy ones”  
“You show me a Fly qualification, then we'll talk”  
“I could do it” Haru scoffed again, quieter this time “quicker than you could get Free”  
“We'll see about that”  
Haru finally lowered himself to shuffling away from his protective walls, sliding up to Rin's side, and Rin grinned as he held out his hand.  
“Given up caring what your friends think?”  
“Yeah”  
“Cool, finally”  
He linked his hand with Haru's obediently, catching a lot of fond smiles before they quickly turned away to hide them, only Gou brave enough to look right at them.  
“Ne, Haruka-senpai, when you become my brother you'll be obligated to visit me. At least on holidays.”  
“Good thing it's not legal”  
“Ouch, mean”  
“Seriously though,” Rin began “If any of you want to voice questions or concerns, now's the time to get it over with”  
“Blink twice if he's hurting you and you can't get away” Rei offered, touching the side of his neck pointedly.  
“Trust me, I get my revenge” Rin laughed, squeezing Haru's hand a little tighter as he blushed “And Makoto was right, I did kind of start it”  
“Haru came to the pool with them first” Makoto grinned “He walked out with this one massive bruise that was still new and swollen, then couldn't understand why his teammates were staring at him”  
“You know about that?” Haru asked, alarmed “How?”  
“I was there, I saw it all happen,” he laughed, “is that why you made excuses to leave early? You were trying to hide it from me?”  
“Well, yeah”  
“You're ridiculous. But yeah, two days later Rin shows up like this” he waved toward Rin faintly “and everyone starts cooing about how cute it is that they're finally together”  
“And then Haru proceeded to sulk about how I wasn't allowed to do it again if he had to swim”  
“Is there ever a day that he doesn't swim?”  
“Not often” Haru managed a little smile “Usually twice. But less since Rin has been here, making me have pizza parties instead”  
“Worth it”

Rin threw another blanket into the room as Makoto covered passed-out figures who somehow got into the alcohol without anyone noticing, watching fondly as he tiptoed around them and made his way back into the hall.  
“I'll see you both in the morning” he smiled warmly “I'll come by around nine”  
“Thanks. Have a good night”  
“You too”  
Haru was already in the bed when Rin made it up, smiling fondly as he threw his shirt aside, quickly noticing that Haru was still wearing most of his own clothing.  
“Haru” he whispered, “are you awake?”  
He reached and touched his shoulder lightly, recoiling quickly when he saw the familiar jolt back to Earth.  
“Oh Haru” he said softly, as Haru rolled over to look up at him with wide eyes. “Where did this come from?”  
“I was asleep”  
“I don't think you were”  
“No, I'm... I'm pretty sure I was just asleep. What time is it? Where is everyone?”  
“You came up to bed about an hour ago. Some went home, a couple are passed out in the living room. You're still fully dressed”  
“You're not”  
“Seriously. How much did you drink?”  
“A lot”  
“So you'll let me worry about your alcohol intake next time?”  
“I'm fine, Rin. I was just sleeping, I was tired”  
“Yeah, okay” he sighed, giving up as he sat down on the edge of the bed “come here, let's get these off”  
He pulled the hoodie and t-shirt over Haru's head despite his pout, then smirked faintly as he looked at Haru's pants.  
“Want to do it yourself?”  
“Not particularly”  
He unzipped Haru's fly and pulled his pants down over his ankles, smirking again when he caught Haru shifting a little to adjust himself.  
“Don't” Haru said quickly, when Rin reached for his own pants “Not yet”  
“Oh, right” Rin chuckled “you want to feel me up first?”  
“Yeah”  
“Alright then”  
He lay down on top of the covers, shifting a little closer so Haru could reach around his waist, his hands strangely confident in their exploration.  
“Maybe there are some up-sides to you getting drunk, too” Rin laughed, as Haru's hand squeezed him firmly.  
“Shh”  
“Yes, Sir”  
Haru flooded red, and Rin couldn't resist another self-assured smile. He moved to find Haru's lips, but Haru beat him to it by a mile, his fingers tight in Rin's hair and his teeth biting roughly at Rin's lower lip.  
“You like that, huh?” Rin gasped breathlessly, when their lips parted for a moment “Wish I'd known that a lot earlier”  
“Shh” Haru repeated, his hands fumbling with Rin's fly for a second before he peeled off the jeans and cast them aside  
His eyes widened when Haru moved away from his lips, sitting up with a knee either side of Rin's waist as he navigated his boxers off. Without a hint of embarrassment Haru was stark naked and in his face, leaning down to Rin's ear.  
“You want to touch me?”  
“Yeah”  
“Go on, then”  
His hands came up without a hint of shaking or trembling like he'd expected, dying to touch the one part of Haru that he hadn't let his teeth go near, that he had carefully kept the barest minimum of clothing on him to protect. He was warm, already rather pleased to be there, and Rin savoured the moment that he knew might never happen again.  
Unless he deliberately got Haru drunk. He could probably do that.  
Haru leaned in to kiss him briefly again, and Rin wound one arm around his neck to hold him there, the other still clutching its newfound treasure. His lips grazed over Haru's jaw and stopped just below his ear, their cheeks brushing together lightly.  
“Can I suck you off, Sir?” he asked breathlessly, and felt Haru harden in his hand “Please?”  
“Yeah. Go on”


	10. Chapter 10

The train was almost empty when they climbed on board, so they managed to find seats together this time. Haru had been rather sulky when he'd been stuck in the cluster of people on the first train, but they seemed to have pacified him a bit when they shoved breakfast in him at the station. They would be stuck here for the next hour and a half before their next transfer, so Rin was happy that it wasn't insanely crowded, and even more so that Haru wouldn't have anything to complain about.  
“When we were at school” Makoto began, smiling to himself as he looked out the window, “we had a conversation once, about which friend we would date if they were girls”  
“Oh yeah?” Rin laughed “Did Haru pick me or should I prepare to be offended?”  
“He changed his mind a bunch, didn't want to take it seriously. I never realised it was the 'if they were girls' part that he found offensive”  
“They were talking about the friends in the room” Haru argued “I couldn't have chosen Rin anyway”  
“But you've been so madly in love with me for so many years, I'm sure they would have seen it in your eyes and heard the love in your voice and totally accepted it without question”  
“Shut up” Haru rolled his eyes at Rin's laugh, elbowing him sharply “It's not like that”  
“No, there's something there” Makoto teased “When you look at him, at least”  
“Quit it”  
“Okay, okay, I'm done”  
Haru hadn't been in the pool today, which Rin suspected wasn't helping his mood. They'd considered it, but they both knew they'd end up running late if Haru set foot in the water, so instead he'd had to settle for the bathtub, which really didn't cut it.  
Rin had gotten used to travelling by now, so everything he needed for the week was stuffed in a backpack that fitted under his seat. Haru had shown his nerves when he packed three times as much as he needed into a small suitcase, but Rin had decided it was better not to mention it, and it now sat in the luggage racks over their heads. Every so often he would stand up and check something was in it, then look relieved as he sat back down, and each time he moved Makoto and Rin looked at each other and silently questioned whether something needed to be said. For now, though, since the train was nearly empty, Rin reached for Haru's hand and laced them together, tucking them down between their thighs so no-one would notice unless they looked twice. He seemed slightly hesitant at first, but after a minute he softened a little and gripped Rin back.  
“It's gonna be a fun trip” Rin said with a knowing smile, pressing his shoulder against Haru's for a moment “We won't want to go home after”  
“Yeah” Haru said faintly “Maybe”

It was Rin's turn to be cranky when they dragged themselves off the last train, and Haru watched him silently, examining the sharp motions as he pulled his backpack on and tightened one of the buckles, as he dug grumpily in his pocket for an elastic to tie his hair back. Haru looked at Makoto for help and got nothing, left with hands twitching to reach out, lips desperate to say something, but nothing coming out.  
“Rin!” he blurted finally, as he started to fall behind the pair of them on the sidewalk  
“Huh?”  
“I'm... I'm glad you're here. We're here.”  
Haru stood awkwardly as Rin frowned, considering him, and caught a glimpse of Makoto's little smile over Rin's shoulder, nodding encouragingly.  
“I... I want us to have a good trip”  
“Yeah. Me too.”  
“Then... If anything is... is wrong, you'd want me to talk about it, right?”  
“Yeah. Is something wrong?”  
“Yeah. Well, no. I mean... You seem... Not very happy”  
“What?”  
“He's trying to tell you that you've been grumpy since we got off the train and he's worried about you” Makoto chimed in finally, saving him “Are you alright?”  
“Oh” Rin softened considerably, his shoulders slumping “Sorry”  
“What is it?”  
“It's stupid” he managed a tiny smile, waving for Haru to catch up “Don't worry about it”  
“Please tell me”  
“It's like four o clock and it's pretty much dark already, it just annoys me”  
“But that's normal?”  
“I just haven't gotten used to it again yet. I feel like we wasted our whole day on trains”  
“I liked it. I liked... Being there. With you guys. And... and talking. And nothing getting in the way”  
“When you say it like that I feel guilty for being frustrated”  
“There are plenty of fun things to do in Tokyo after dark” Makoto assured him. “The day isn't over yet”  
“Since I've been back it's felt like I should be in bed at like seven. Besides, I'm still nineteen”  
“Not all fun things require alcohol” he laughed “You'll see, don't worry. Come on, it's still a little further to get home”  
As they walked Haru shifted his suitcase to the other hand, moving a little closer and touching his shoulder to Rin's. He had to shuffle his steps a little to keep their feet from tangling, but he managed to work it out so he could maintain contact as they walked. Rin didn't say anything about it, but Haru saw him smile a little, and felt satisfied that he'd done his job.

Haru made himself at home like it was nothing, checking the fridge on his way past to tuck his bag into a little closet and shaking his head at the sight.  
“We'll have to go to Akiyoshi”  
“You want to?”  
“Yeah”  
“Okay, sure. We can do that”  
“But Rin and I are going running first, since he wouldn't let me swim this morning”  
“Are we?” Rin smiled wryly “first I'd heard of it”  
“Bathroom is there” he said, pointing without looking up “We won't go far”  
“Sotobori?” Makoto asked, with a little smile.  
“Koraku”  
“Ah, right”  
It was amusing for Rin to watch how easily Haru fitted back in, already familiar and comfortable with the area despite his apparent misery around living here. He didn't protest though, and went to relieve himself and change into some decent running clothes, zipping his jacket up to hopefully shelter him from the cold.  
“Okay, I'm sorted” he agreed, as he sat down in the doorway to put his running shoes on. “Shall we?”  
“Have fun” Makoto laughed, as Haru grabbed his own shoes from his suitcase “See you in an hour”  
“Yeah, thanks”  
“It sounds like you've done this a lot” Rin said faintly, as they made their way back down the stairs “I didn't know you ran”  
“Sometimes”  
“I guess you were a lot more serious here than I gave you credit for”  
“Stress does a lot of weird things”  
He brushed his fingertips over Haru's shoulder blade lightly, hoping it would convey some sort of sympathy and comfort, and grinned when Haru stopped at the entrance and looked at him.  
“You ready?”  
“I'm following you, lead the way”  
“Okay”

The park was lit with coloured lights, some of them in the little canopied pathways, others bouncing in from the bright buildings around them. There was faint music, too, from the little amusement park nearby, and the whole area was incredibly peaceful. Paths wove through the trees, past little buildings and over trickling streams, almost empty but for the two of them. When they reached a street they crossed over and climbed a staircase, slowing to a stop in front of the fountains.   
“So you lived in this area too?”  
“Yeah”  
“The same place as Makoto?”  
“No”  
“Where?”  
“Ah...” He turned around, pointing toward where the tall buildings began again “The station I used is just down there, and it was maybe ten minutes walk from there”  
“Oh, so I guess you came this way to Makoto's a lot”  
“Kind of. I used the main road.”  
There were wooden benches off to the side of the park, and Haru sank into one, leaning against his elbows as he looked over the perfectly maintained gardens. Rin sat down beside him, touching his back lightly, and smiled when Haru's eyes darted his way.  
“Did you like it here before you got stressed and lonely?”  
“Yeah”  
“I thought... I thought you would be anxious being somewhere unfamiliar. Coming here, watching you get nervous as you packed and everything, I thought I would have to take care of you in the big scary world. But it seems like you just slot back in pretty easily”  
“I know you want to stay.”  
“I think it would be good for you – for both of us – if we stayed. But that doesn't mean we have to. And if you think it's going to make you unhappy, I don't want to do it”  
“I think...”  
He trailed off, and Rin kept his mouth shut, tried to be patient as he waited.  
“If you're here it's okay” he finished finally, staring at his feet “I think”  
“Wherever you are, I'll be there too”  
He leaned in so their shoulders pressed together, and Haru leaned in to meet him, cracking a little smile.  
“But if we stay, you have to get a Free qualification”  
“I'll do my best” he laughed “Shall we head back? Makoto will be waiting for us for dinner if we stay too long”  
“Yeah, probably. He knew we'd end up taking longer than usual”  
“He said an hour”  
“He was joking. It takes half that”  
“Oh. It's not often that you're the one pointing out missed jokes”  
“With Makoto it is.” He smiled, standing up and offering Rin a hand. “Coming?”  
“Yeah”  
He let Haru haul him to his feet, and they wandered down the staircase to the main road.  
“You said straight along this road, right?” Rin asked with a smile.  
“Yeah, until you get to the big intersection”  
“I'll race you”  
He didn't wait for an answer, but heard Haru run after him as he took off, laughing. It wasn't the longest sprint Rin had ever undertaken, by any means, but trying to do it while laughing at Haru beside him made him breathless by the time he made it to the lights.  
“Cheater” Haru accused, punching him lightly “Trying to get a headstart?”  
“Had to make you try harder to keep up”  
“Not fair, you already have longer legs than me”  
“Barely”  
Haru smiled, a little less restrained this time, and punched him again. His fist lingered this time, didn't pull back right away, and Rin clapped him on the back understandingly.  
“Come on” he grinned, when the light turned green for them to walk “almost back”  
“Yeah” Haru nodded, hurrying a little to catch up “I'm... I'm glad you're here”  
“Me too”

By the time they got back to the apartment Rin felt like he should have been in bed hours ago. The sun had long since gone down, so his body was convinced it was nearing midnight, even though it was closer to eight. It was insane how much that got to him, how annoyed it made him. Although, on the plus side, it did mean that at that very moment he was sitting against a wall with Haru's head on his shoulder, his arm hugged lightly between Haru's. He had become clingy as he got more tired, especially after his obvious tension about wanting to touch or be touched while they were out in public, and he was making the most of the three of them being shut away in the privacy of Makoto's little apartment.  
Makoto had insisted on them taking the bed, and was now sitting on a futon with a textbook in his lap. Rin felt a little guilty that they were already impeding on his study time, but he had assured them if he really needed quiet to concentrate he would have gone to the library. Not that Rin and Haru were particularly loud in general, it was hard to be noisy with someone like Haru. Right now, for instance, he had pulled a book from somewhere in his bag and was somehow balancing it in his hands even as he held tight to Rin's arm. Rin had glanced down at it and quickly decided he wasn't interested, and instead opted for browsing aimlessly on his phone. It was peaceful, it was comfortable, and yet Rin still wanted more. He wanted enthusiasm, excitement, something that told him Haru _wanted_ to be there, that he wasn't just playing it up because that was what he thought Rin wanted.   
Haru barely glanced up from his book as Rin leaned in closer to him, resting his cheek on top of Haru's head.  
“Are you gonna take me to the pool tomorrow?”  
“Uh-huh. Early.”  
“How early?”  
“We should leave about seven”  
“That's hardly early” Rin scoffed “that's a normal morning”  
“For a week you've complained about waking up at eight”  
“Well yeah, it was cold” Rin laughed, “that doesn't make it early”  
“Okay, I won't have to drag you out of bed then”  
“Do you have any other plans?”  
“Yeah”  
“You do? Like what?”  
“Not telling”  
“Can you at least tell me if I need to bring anything special with me?”  
“You don't”  
“Not even my swimsuit?”  
“That's not special, you should always have that”  
“Not all of us wear them instead of underwear”  
“I'm wearing underwear”  
“Are you really? Let me see”  
With a little smirk he poked two fingers down Haru's waistband and pulled it down to look, genuinely surprised to find out Haru was telling the truth.  
“Were all your jammers dirty or something?”  
“I knew we weren't swimming today”  
“You didn't want to be prepared in case we found a fish tank or something?”  
Haru punched him without bothering to look up from his book, but Rin caught a glimpse of a smile.  
“I can manage one day” he said stubbornly, “maybe three is when it gets hard”  
“I'll keep it in mind. So I don't need to bring anything?”  
“No”  
“Well, alright, I'll take your word for it”  
He seemed strangely pleased with himself, and when Rin glanced up he saw Makoto smiling too.  
“Do you know something about this?”  
“I can guess” he grinned “just go with it, he's been working hard at planning”  
“Have you really?”  
He shrugged a little but didn't deny it, and Rin shifted slightly to keep him from running away as he tickled him lightly, grinning as he watched Haru dissolve into squirming and repressed giggles.  
“Did you plan a whole date-day without me knowing?”  
“Maybe”  
“You're adorable”  
He took pity and stopped the torment, but left his arm draped over Haru's waist.  
“So I should just follow you around without question?”  
“Yeah”  
“Alright, just this once”  
“Be a good boy” Haru's face betrayed him, cracking a little smile as he teased.  
“Yes Sir” Rin fired right back, pulling Haru a little closer “Whatever you say, Sir”  
“Quit it”  
He finally gave up and looked away from his book, since he hadn't managed to turn a page in far too long anyway, and Rin felt immense satisfaction at stealing away his attention. After a long pause he heard Makoto stifle a chuckle, and tore his eyes away from Haru's to look.  
“You two are ridiculous” he told them with a smile “I don't mind if you kiss. It's better than all the tension”  
Rin opened his mouth to respond and just found Haru's familiar, soft lips instead. Rin could have sworn he started moving halfway through Makoto's sentence, anticipating the permission and going for it right away, but in all honesty Haru's neediness was rather attractive to him after years of barely getting hugs.  
“Whole ton of hesitation there” Makoto smirked “Maybe I should read in the bathroom”  
“I'm sure he can keep his pants on for one night” Rin smirked, planting a little kiss on Haru's cheek “Think you can cope?”  
“No pool and no making out? That's a big ask”  
Haru's smile as he teased was brighter than Rin had seen it in a long time, and all Rin could do in response was pull him in close again, kissing him like it was the last thing he'd ever do.


	11. Chapter 11

Rin watched fondly as Haru hovered in the office doorway, waiting for one of them to look up.  
“Haruka?!”  
“Hello, Coach”  
“Come in, come in!”  
He gestured vaguely toward Rin, and even managed a tiny smile to go with it.  
“This is Rin, we used to swim together”  
Rin followed him into the office, shaking hands politely with the coach he'd heard so many stories about.  
“It's nice to meet you, I've heard a lot” he offered, smiling warmly “Haru thinks very highly of you”  
“We think very highly of him, too”  
“I'm thinking about coming back” Haru said bluntly, catching even Rin by surprise “I'm not sure yet, but maybe I'd like to. Would you consider letting me back on the team?”  
“We're still holding your place for you”  
“I'll tell you for sure this time, I'm sorry to leave you waiting so long”  
“Thank you”  
“Um... If I come back, Rin will be coming with me. Would you let him trial for the team too?”  
“Haru, we don't need to worry about that yet” Rin smiled faintly, suddenly embarrassed “that's not important”  
“It is important”  
“We could certainly consider it” the coach agreed, “especially if you're vouching for him”  
“He's good” Haru nodded firmly “you want him”  
“Haru, stop”  
The two men looked at him properly now, and his smile became far more strained as they considered him.  
“Who do you swim with right now, Rin-san?”  
“Uh... I don't, actually. I was in Australia. Sydney. I've just moved back to Japan”  
“He's qualified for Worlds already' Haru said stubbornly, folding his arms “he just needs a team to go with”  
“Oh?”  
“Haru, stop” Rin said again, even knowing it was futile “It's fine”  
“He swims Fly. When was the last time you had a Fly medalist?”  
Rin rolled his eyes and gave up protesting, just shaking his head faintly as they continued to discuss.  
“Rin-san?”  
“Huh?”  
“Would you be interested, or is Haruka just pushing?”  
“If you have a space, yeah. I'm not worried though. Like he said, I've already qualified, I'm sure I can find someone who will take me”  
“We would be happy to have you here and let you trial with our squad”  
“Really? Thank you”  
“How long are you in Tokyo for?”  
“A week” Haru answered, without hesitation. “We'll see how it goes and make a decision after that”  
“I look forward to hearing from you, then. Feel free to use the pool, there's about an hour before the public lanes open so there should be plenty of space for a while”  
“Thank you” Rin nodded, backing out of the office to let the older men finish their conversation “We'll talk again soon”  
Haru followed him obediently, with a last little smile and a nod to his coach, and Rin punched him as soon as they were around a corner.  
“Seriously?” he insisted, when Haru gave him a confused look “How many times do I have to tell you not to talk me up like that?”  
“I wasn't”  
He looked entirely innocent as he said it, and Rin couldn't be sure if Haru really didn't know he was doing it or if he just happened to be dating a master liar. He'd never considered that Haru might have the capacity to lie, since he met most questions with silence anyway, but now he was strangely concerned.  
“What do you think you were doing, then?”  
“What do you mean? I was introducing you like you wanted”  
“By telling them that I have worlds times and I need a new swim club?”  
“It's true”  
“You shouldn't have put them on the spot like that”  
“Why not?”  
“Because it's awkward”  
“It didn't seem awkward”  
Rin sighed and shook his head, finally turning to get his swimsuit out of his backpack.  
“Are you mad?”  
“No”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes”  
Haru frowned to himself, staring at Rin's back as he changed, and finally picked up his cap from his bag.  
“Race me”  
“Excuse me?” Rin frowned “What are you talking about?”  
“You said you wanted to race me”  
“You said you refused unless it was at a meet”  
“I changed my mind”  
“What's gotten into you?”  
They didn't speak as they stood in the showers for a minute then walked out to the pool, they didn't even look at each other as they stopped near the blocks, staring out over the water instead.  
“It's nice” Rin mumbled “like you said”  
“I want to see if it was just a fluke”  
“What?”  
“You asked what had gotten into me. I want to know if your bad times were a fluke, or if that's just you now. I want to see if you fall behind miserably when we race.”  
“Not cool”  
“Don't you want to show me you can still do it?”  
“Let me do a couple of laps of fly first, since your coach will no doubt be watching”  
“Okay”  
Haru slid into the water and just waited, his eyes locked on Rin as he climbed onto the blocks and adjusted his gear. Rin, in response, grimaced a little when he saw the clear blue eyes staring up at him, and shook his head faintly as he crouched.  
Haru would never swim butterfly, that much he knew. He would probably never swim anything but free, like he'd always done. But watching it from Rin, seeing how effortless and natural it looked, definitely made it seem like something special.  
He only swam free, but he loved fly as well.  
Rin didn't bother to touch the wall when he came back, instead slowing his pace a little when he was still a few strokes out, and coming to a rest beside Haru.  
“You just been staring at me the whole time?” he smirked  
“Yeah”  
“Weirdo” he sighed, but smiled fondly as he hauled himself over the side of the pool “fine, let's race”  
“I don't want to anymore”  
“Why not?”  
“Because you don't want to”  
“What are you talking about?” Rin frowned, folding his arms.  
“I wanted to race you because you wanted to race me. If you don't want to race me anymore then I don't want to race you anymore either”  
“How old are you? Five?”  
“Why did you say no when I asked? You asked me a thousand times”  
“Because you're gonna beat me, obviously” Rin frowned slightly, offering him a hand “you think I want to see how badly I lose?”  
“Then try harder”  
“I'm planning on it. That's why I'm here waiting for you to join me”  
“You're gonna try properly? Not accept defeat?”  
“Yes, Haru” he smiled faintly “I've changed my mind, I'm not going to let you win”  
“Good”  
He finally accepted the hand and climbed up to the decks, each of them choosing a starting block to set up on. Rin stared at the pool as he adjusted his goggles, planning and calculating and preparing even though they both knew it would go out the window as soon as his hands touched the water. Haru, though, glanced up just in time to see the little meeting finish, his coach and his manager emerging and catching sight of them, stopping to watch.  
“On the minute” he said with a smile, nodding toward the nearest clock “Ready?”  
“Ready”  
Haru was in the water, kicking and stroking and breathing, by the time he realised the thought he'd had. His coach. His manager. After all this time, he still thought of them that way. This was still his club, his pool. They were still his teammates, surprisingly enough. When he'd been back at Iwatobi, he hadn't thought like that. He hadn't called it his pool, like he'd done as a child. It was fine, it was water, it was a pool he could swim in as much as he wanted – but it was nothing on this. His pool, his lane.  
Rin was barely behind when Haru touched the wall, and he felt a surprisingly bright grin take over his face when he turned to look.  
“Haru?” Rin asked, disbelieving “What's with you?”  
“You did well” he laughed quietly “good work”  
“You're an idiot” Rin grinned back, shaking his head fondly. “Go again?”  
“Not until the next meet”  
“Oh come on, seriously?”  
“Seriously” Haru grinned, adjusting his goggles again “I'm going”  
Rin watched fondly as he ducked under the water and swam off down the lane again, shaking his head at the strange burst of energy and happiness that had come over him. He was more determined than ever to convince Haru to stay, seeing the way he was in this pool, with these people, and ultimately that meant only one thing.  
He needed a Free qualification.

The changing rooms were empty and silent, and before Haru could start to pick up his towel Rin threw his arms around him, hugging him tightly.  
“It's a nice pool” he laughed, when Haru froze “I'm glad you brought me to see it”  
“Yeah” Haru agreed, gingerly bringing his hands to Rin's waist “I'm... glad you had fun”  
“Heaps of fun. We're coming back tomorrow, right?”  
“Yeah. We could come earlier, if you want, and you can meet my teammates”  
Rin had to keep his face carefully in check as he nodded, letting a little smile escape him.  
“That sounds good”  
_My_ teammates  
Haru gently pried him off to get changed, and Rin obediently left him to pick up a towel, rubbing at his hair with it as he checked his phone. He hadn't been expecting messages this early, but as always his sister was one step ahead, ready and waiting to check on him.  
“We're fine” he typed out quickly “Haru seems happy”  
He threw it back in his bag and finally started to get dressed, glancing back at Haru waiting patiently for him.  
“Sorry” he offered “forgot to tell Gou we got here safely”  
“Take your time”  
He paused, then turned around to consider Haru, folding his arms.  
“You're perving at me, aren't you? You're checking me out while I get dressed”  
“Yeah”  
“And you're not even going to deny it?”  
“No”  
“You're...” He sighed, cracking a smile. “You're cute. Sorry, won't be long”  
“It's fine”  
As they walked out Haru paused to wave goodbye to the staff, freezing when the coach leapt up.  
“Oh, Haruka! Rin-san! Hold on one moment!”  
They stopped just outside the door, glancing at each other with equal amounts of confusion, and after a minute Haru's coach returned to hand them both a few pieces of paper and point at two lists of numbers.  
“Come by as much as you want in the meantime, but these are the details for the next event. We're picking the team on this date for the competition on this weekend, and so on. We'd love to have you. Both of you”  
“Thank you” Haru nodded, tucking the papers into his bag “I'll be here”  
Rin cracked a smile and did his best to hide it from Haru, offering a hand to the man and shaking one more time.  
“I hope I'll be seeing a lot more of you, Coach” he grinned “Thank you for your time”  
“You too, Rin-san. We'll make your return to Japan a good one”

Rin had lost track of the trains they were on, instead just following Haru's lead. It wasn't hard to catch on, though, when Haru dragged him off a train and he saw a giant ferris wheel rising above the buildings.  
“Really?” he asked with a grin, getting a laugh in return “you're such a romantic”  
The place was almost empty, and they got into their little carriage straight away, slowly lifting up higher and higher above the city. When they were out of view of the workers running the ride, Haru hooked his arm through Rin's, and they leaned against the window together to watch everything get smaller beneath them.  
“Look” Haru pointed toward one of the buildings they had just come from “there's a heart”  
Sure enough, some form of antenna-like objects had been positioned on the roof to make a heart, only visible from the ferris wheel. It was a cute little touch, only made cuter by Haru pointing it out.  
“Wow, it's pretty” Rin said as they got higher, looking out over the little island “I don't think I've been to this part of Tokyo before. I mean, I haven't been to most of Tokyo before, but still”  
“There's a beach too, and lots of parks and things. I like all the water”  
“Of course you do”  
They were getting closer to the top, and Haru seemed to be getting antsy, pulling little faces occasionally.  
“What's wrong? You're not suddenly scared of heights, are you?”  
“No, I just...”  
“What? Talk to me”  
“You're supposed to kiss me at the top”  
“What?” Rin laughed “is that why you wanted to do this?”  
“Kind of”  
“Well we're not at the top yet, so you'll have to wait”  
He pouted, and Rin laughed at him again as he pulled him up against his side.  
“Is that Tokyo Tower over there?”  
“I was gonna take you last night but you were tired”  
“Were you really?”  
“Yeah. It's okay, we can go another time”  
“I'd like that” Rin smiled fondly at him “sorry I was cranky last night”  
“It's okay”  
He leaned over and planted a little kiss on Haru's lips, amused when he saw Haru's bright pink cheeks as they pulled apart.  
“Is that what you wanted?”  
“Yeah”  
“We should be taking photos, too”  
He dug out his phone and Haru reluctantly leaned in, looking at them on the screen as Rin held it at arm's length. As biased as he was, he thought they looked good together, like they made a good pair. Rin kissed his cheek right as he hit the camera button, snapping a few photos of Haru's surprise and embarrassment and Rin's gloriously mischievous smile.  
“You wanted cheesy romantic date” Rin reminded him, when he pouted a little again at the teasing smile “I'm just delivering”  
“We're not even at the top”  
“Oh no, I guess we'll have to try again”  
He took a couple of proper photos too, as they got higher. The kind he could send to their parents when they asked. The first set were much cuter though, and Rin knew he'd never get away with doing it again. He might show one of them to his sister, but otherwise they were for him alone to enjoy.  
“Rin?”  
“Are we at the top?”  
“Almost”  
He slid his phone away and ran his fingers along Haru's jaw, tilting his head just enough for Rin to meet his lips, letting his eyes sink closed to savour the moment. In the end they entirely missed the view from the very top, but Rin was pretty sure their moment was well worth the few metres they lost.

Haru nudged Rin lightly as they came out from the building, giving him a warning look.  
“What?” he asked, genuinely confused “what did I do?”  
“Don't start sulking about the dark”  
“I wouldn't dream of it. Have we really been here all day?”  
“Just about”  
“Wow. I'm impressed, Haru. You planned a really fun date”  
“It's not over yet”  
“It's not?”  
Haru was looking around as he searched for the perfect spot, weaving through little clusters of people, and Rin just followed silently.  
“Here” he announced finally, as the sky grew dim “Look”  
He pointed out over the water, to where the lights of the city buildings were beginning to stand out, and Rin leaned an arm on his shoulder lightly, smiling to himself. He didn't often get to see Haru being pedantic about details like where to stand, and the fact that planning a date had put him into that mode made Rin's heart skip a beat.  
“This is the last day, I think. Maybe tomorrow.”  
“For what?”  
He didn't answer, but Rin caught on within minutes when the bridge lit up in rainbow colours, stretching all the way over the bay. Haru was smiling, and Rin let out a long, low breath as he stared, softening against Haru's side a little.  
“Wow” he said finally, turning his head to find Haru already looking back at him “it's amazing”  
“Yeah. It's usually just white, the colours are for the holidays”  
“And it changes back to white tomorrow?”  
“I think so”  
“I'm glad you brought me”  
He smiled a little, and waved for Rin to follow again, leading him closer and closer to the lights.  
“It gets a bit noisy” Haru told him “but we should do it anyway”  
“Do what?”  
“Walk across”  
“Can we?”  
“Yeah”  
Sure enough, there was a little walkway where people came and went, and Rin grinned as they walked out over the water, bathed in coloured lights as they admired the view. It took a solid half hour to make their way across and out to a station, and when they sat down on a quiet train Rin shuffled a little closer to him, jamming their hands down between their thighs again so he could squeeze Haru's in his.  
“Thank you” he said softly, getting a little smile in return. “Today was fantastic”  
“Good”

Makoto was almost finished cooking when they got back to the apartment, and Rin gave him an apologetic smile as they returned.  
“I'll cook tomorrow, you shouldn't have to”  
“I don't mind”  
“You're letting us stay at your place, and you have to study. At least let us help out a little”  
“Thank you, that's nice of you. Did you two have a good day?”  
“Yeah” he grinned, “we really did”  
“Everything go to plan?”  
Haru nodded as he set his bag down, pulling out his damp gear from the morning, then managed a little smile of his own as he turned for the bathroom.  
“Yeah, everything went well”  
“Glad to hear it”  
As soon as the bathroom door was closed Makoto turned to look at Rin, giving him a pointed look.  
“I think we're gonna stay” he said softly, smiling to himself “I saw him at the pool and we talked to his coach and... Man, I don't even know. I don't think he wants to leave, though”  
“Good”  
“So, any empty apartments in this building?”  
“You can stay here as long as you need, you know that”  
“Thank you. I just need to find a job, I'm sure it won't take long”  
“You'll find something no problem, I'm sure”  
The door opened again and they quickly ended their conversation, Makoto going back to cooking while Rin took a few steps toward Haru, leaning over to kiss him lightly.  
“Thank you for our date, it was the best day I've ever had”  
“It's your turn next”  
“You expect me to top surprise-date and cute-excited-Haru? That's a huge ask”  
“You can handle it” Haru smiled wryly, kissing Rin again before he slipped past to his suitcase and loaded his bag for the next morning “You're coming swimming again tomorrow, right?”  
“Are you gonna race me again?”  
“No”  
“Jerk” he smiled faintly “Yeah, I am”  
“Good”

Haru cracked his eyes open to find his head on Rin's shoulder, a computer open in Rin's lap, a movie playing with Rin's and Makoto's eyes on it. He groaned as he sat up, and Rin shot him a little grin.  
“Welcome back, sleeping beauty” he chuckled “Have a good nap?”  
“How long did I sleep?”  
“About three hours”  
“Sorry”  
“Don't be”  
He wound his arm around Haru's waist and pulled him back to his side, grinning as Haru tensed up, then immediately softened into him. His head slowly found its way back to Rin's shoulder, and Rin squeezed him a little tighter.  
“Tired, huh?”  
“Not anymore” Haru smiled faintly  
“Comfortable?”  
“Yeah”  
“Good”  
“Are you?”  
“Even if I wasn't I wouldn't let you move. But yeah, I'm fine”  
He moved his free hand to his laptop, clicking between a few windows, and smirked as he pulled up one of the photos from earlier. When Haru looked it brought a flush to his cheeks and he batted Rin's hand out of the way to close it, pouting when Rin pinned his hand to his thigh.  
“Fine, close it” he smirked, freeing Haru's hand almost immediately “go for it”  
He clicked the close button obediently, scowling when he saw a similar photo set as the desktop wallpaper.  
“I hate you” he muttered, pulling Rin's arm back around his waist.  
“Yeah, sure seems like it”  
He scratched lightly at Haru's side with his fingertips, just enough to make him squirm a little before he cut it out, not enough to make him pull away.  
“Haru, I'm having lunch with some friends tomorrow and they want me to bring you along, you interested?”  
“Ah...”  
He considered it, glancing up at Rin and getting a little smile in return.  
“Go, we can survive being apart for a couple of hours”  
“You're welcome to come too, Rin”  
“That's okay, you guys go. I've got a few things to do that I'm sure Haru would rather not join me for”  
“Like what?”  
“Shopping for souvenirs, for one. Lovely crowded tourist areas”  
“Yeah, you can do that without me” he chuckled “I'll go have lunch”  
“They'll be really happy to see you” Makoto grinned “Will you be back here by eleven or do you want to meet us there?”  
“We'll be back here, we're going to training at six”  
“You're going to do the proper session?”  
“Yeah, my coach said we could”  
“That's great, I'm sure they'll be really glad you're there.”  
“Have you met them?” Rin asked, “his teammates?”  
“No, he wouldn't let me into that part of his life”  
“It wasn't like that” Haru sulked “it just never worked out”  
“By that he means I never went to training with him and he never did anything else with them”  
“You didn't hang out outside of training?”  
“Why would we? We already saw each other five or six hours a day”  
“I guess that's a fair point. Do you get sick of me after six hours too?”  
“You're different”  
“You must have spent six hours a day with Makoto sometimes”  
“Only at school, we were doing other stuff”  
“Plus, he absolutely got sick of me sometimes” Makoto grinned “even if he would never admit it”  
“Maybe occasionally”  
“That's a better track record than I have”  
“I don't get sick of you”  
“You slammed the door in my face when I arrived”  
“That was different”  
“I practically had to beg you to let me in”  
“It was different!”  
“I came straight to see you from the airport, before my own family, and you didn't even care”  
Haru shoved him over, pinning him to the bed and locking eyes with him for a moment before he leaned in for a kiss.  
“It was different” he repeated, their faces inches apart. “It wasn't like that”  
“I know” Rin smiled slightly, pulling him in to kiss again “I'm not mad”  
“I'm sorry, though. I wish I hadn't.”  
“It all worked out in the end”  
“Yeah”  
His fingers brushed lightly over Rin's cheek, and Rin stayed dead still for fear of scaring him off, watching his soft eyes as his fingertips explored Rin's skin.  
“You're very handsome too” Rin smiled wryly, amused when Haru's eyes darted to his as if they'd forgotten he was a real person. “I assume that's why you're staring, because I'm so damn attractive”  
“Pretty much” Haru muttered, tearing himself away and letting Rin sit up again. “Show off”  
“It's not worth denying such an obvious fact”  
“Shut up” he rolled his eyes, punching him lightly “You're so full of yourself”  
“Life is more fun that way”  
Despite his half-hearted protests Rin dragged Haru into his lap, winding both arms tight around his waist and pinning his arms to his sides. He squirmed a little but eventually conceded, letting Rin clutch him to his chest at first, and slowly leaning into him a little more as time passed.  
“Settled now?” he asked with a smile, when Haru's hair brushed against his cheek “Comfortable again?”  
He didn't answer, and Rin only caught on when Makoto glanced back and laughed at them.  
“I guess he was lying about not being tired anymore” Rin smiled wryly, and Makoto nodded “I think I'm stuck here”  
“Yeah, you seem so unhappy about it”  
“Oh, absolutely”


	12. Chapter 12

When Rin dragged himself out of the shower he found Haru sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at his bag as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world.  
“Lost something?”  
He didn't answer, and Rin rolled his eyes as he pulled his coat on over his swimsuit.  
“Earth to Haru, you ready to go?”  
He froze when Haru still remained silent, turning slowly to face him.  
“Haru?”  
Rin swore under his breath as he sat down lightly at Haru's side, his hand hovering nervously as he reached out. He was always reluctant to do it, he hated seeing the awful jolt that came with it. But he braced himself, let his fingers graze the back of Haru's hand with the lightest of touch, and cringed as he felt it jump beneath his.   
“Haru, you have to talk to me”  
“What? About what?”  
“You can't keep doing this. What are you stressed about?”  
“Nothing”  
“I'm not stupid. You think I haven't noticed the anxiety? Every time you freeze it's because something is bugging you. How am I supposed to help you if you won't tell me anything is wrong?”  
Haru started to slide his hand away but Rin gripped it tightly, staring straight into his eyes even when they refused to gaze back.  
“Haru, please”  
“I want to stay here. I don't want to leave”  
“And you're worried you'll be unhappy here again?”  
“No, I think... I think I would be happy”  
“So you're worried that... It won't work out? That we won't be able to support ourselves?”  
“No”  
“I'm pretty much out of guesses, help me out here”  
He frowned slightly as he considered it, and Rin watched him with fearful eyes.  
“I didn't want to leave. Not really”  
“When?”  
“Ever. From the start”  
“When you were unhappy?”  
“Yeah”  
“Then why did you?”  
“Because I was... Unhappy” he shrugged “and I couldn't keep doing it. I didn't know how to fix it. People were worried. My parents said I should go back for a while and work things out, and I guess I didn't say no”  
“Okay, so you took almost a year off, you sorted things out like people wanted, and now you're back. Are you happy to be back?”  
“I think so”  
“Then what are you worried about?”  
“I need you here with me”  
“I am here with you”  
“But what about when you're not?”  
“What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere”  
“But you have to be happy too. You can't just stay here because of me”  
“Haru, is this really what you're worrying about? You shouldn't be freaking out because of me”  
“If you don't make the team or if you don't qualify or if you don't like the people or the coaches you'll just leave, and I'll be stuck here trying to get by on my own again”  
“I would never do that”  
“You've done it before”  
“You mean Australia? That was different. Besides, I was a kid. I've grown up at least a little bit since then”  
“But... just if”  
“Do you remember what you asked last time you said 'just if' to me?”  
He shook his head, and Rin cracked a little smile.  
“You asked me to take you to Australia with me if I left again”  
“Oh. Yeah.”  
“You basically made me promise”  
“Yeah”  
“So if something goes horrifically wrong and I have to leave Tokyo under penalty of death, or whatever, what do you think I'm gonna do?”  
“Take me with you?”  
“Even if I have to drag you, kicking and screaming”  
Haru finally managed a hint of a smile, and Rin squeezed his hand tighter.  
“Please talk to me about this stuff. Don't let it get this bad”  
“I try to”  
“Even if you have to wake me up at three in the morning and make me guess without a single hint, at least let me try”  
“Okay”  
“Okay?”  
“Yeah, okay”  
“Okay” Rin smiled, kissing his cheek lightly “Are you ready to go?”  
“Yeah”  
“Come on, then”  
He offered Haru a hand up, unsurprised when he ignored it, and instead watched him button up his warm coat and pick up his training bag. There was something about the way Haru worked that was so fascinating, like he didn't want to waste any movement. He continued to watch all the way out the door, even as he pulled his shoes on, and continued down the street to the station.   
“Rin?”  
“Yeah?”  
“You're staring”  
“Can you blame me?” Rin asked, bumping him lightly with his side “You're fascinating”  
“Fascinating?”  
“Yeah. I could watch you for hours”  
“Please don't”  
He laughed, and Haru smiled a little in return, which only made Rin's grin stretch even wider.  
“You always seem so cool and calm, but if you look closely enough there's something there underneath it all. Your eyes, mostly. They betray the rest of you”  
“Good, then I can stop trying to say things”  
“But I like hearing your voice”  
“Stop it”  
“Make me”  
They locked eyes and Rin saw a flash of temptation pass over Haru's features, gone as quickly as it came. He knew if they weren't standing exposed in the middle of a public place Haru would have made a move – said something, done something – but he was far too conservative. He wouldn't even allow himself implication, let alone anything less subtle, but Rin knew he would remember it for later.   
“If you keep staring at me like that I might have to kiss you”   
Rin couldn't help but tease a little. The station was almost deserted, and he was speaking far too quietly for anyone to hear his words even if they were actively trying to listen in. Haru was well aware of all those things, but Rin knew it would still elicit a rush of heat to his pale face. His heart fluttered as Haru pouted, turning away, and he smiled again as he laid a hand on Haru's shoulder lightly. Their train pulled in, almost empty, and Rin's hand didn't break contact as they sat down with a car all to themselves.  
“What are you worried about?”  
“You're meeting my teammates soon”  
“And? I'm not going to tell them anything, if that's what you mean”  
“No”  
“What, then? You think they won't like me? Don't be silly, everyone adores me”  
“I know, it's not that”  
“What, then?”  
“You might not like them”  
“How many friends have you had that I didn't get along with?”  
“A few”  
“Genuinely didn't get along with, not just sulking or arguing then eventually coming around”  
“I don't know.”  
“None. How many friends have I had that you genuinely didn't like?”  
“One”  
“And yet you saw him more recently than I did. You came around too”  
“Yeah”  
“So even if we don't immediately click, don't you think I'm gonna come around eventually?”  
“If you stay long enough to try”  
“Let's get this straight. I cannot even begin to imagine a scenario where I left you. There is not a single thing I can think of that would make me walk away. I'm here, and I'm going to fight to keep up with you like I've always done, and I'm going to get that Free qualification, and I am going to swim alongside you, in more events than you, and bring home more gold medals than you, and I'm never going to let it go. Every time we argue about who has to do the dishes or clean the toilet, I'm going to point at the wall dedicated to our medals and I'm going to tell you that winners don't do the dirty work. And you're gonna try really hard to get more at the next event, so I can't use that excuse anymore, and I'm going to work even harder to keep my lead. We're going to stand on the podium at every beautiful pool in the world, and I'm going to look down at you with your silver medal beside me and I'm just going to smirk. Because you already know, I don't have to say it. And one day we're going to be so old we can barely walk, and we're going to hobble our way down to the local pool, and there are gonna be tons of kids swarming us and asking all about our competition days, and you're going to have to admit that you never, ever beat me on the world stage. And then we're going to go swim, and we're going to be slow as all hell, but I'm still going to beat you even when we're ninety. And not for one moment in that whole fantastic career am I ever going to even consider leaving your side.”  
“I don't mind cleaning”  
Rin stared at him for a moment in disbelief, then shook his head as he realised he really should have expected nothing less.  
“That's the part you choose to fixate on” he sighed, shaking his head fondly. “Oh Haru, I shouldn't be surprised anymore”  
“I don't mind if you beat me” Haru said softly, staring at his shoes “If you're still there, I don't mind losing”  
“Liar. Just the thought of losing to me over and over is enough to make you fume”  
“It's okay though because it'll never happen”  
“Oi!”  
“You can bring home as many fly golds as you want and I'll kiss them and hang them on the wall. You'll never beat me in free though”  
“It'll happen”  
“Keep dreaming”  
They exchanged a quick grin before Haru looked away again, kicking Rin's foot lightly, and Rin's fingers squeezed a little tighter at Haru's arm.  
“I don't care if your teammates are the most annoying jerks in the world, I'm still going to stay”

Rin couldn't do anything but stare when they stepped into the changing room, hanging back a few steps as soon as it began.  
“Haru!”  
A solid dozen people turned around, casting their things aside in favour of greeting him and bombarding him with questions.  
“It's so good to see you back, Haruka! We were worried about you!”  
“Welcome back Haru, we've missed you!”  
“Where have you been?!”  
Despite being overwhelmed, he seemed a little pleased by their enthusiasm, and Rin managed a tiny little smile as they all bumped fists and shook hands.  
“Yeah, that's Rin, he's come to swim with us”  
His eyes widened as they all turned to look at him, and he offered them an awkward little wave.  
“It's nice to finally meet you, Matsuoka-san”  
“We're glad to have you here!”  
He nodded slightly, a little stunned still, and managed a smile in return.  
“Thank you, it's good to be here. I look forward to swimming with you all”  
“Not really” Haru was saying to someone with a shrug, not paying any attention to Rin anymore “not compared to me, at least”  
“It can't be that bad, surely”  
“It's not great”  
It took all Rin's effort to not scowl at the pair, a little annoyed that Haru's complaints weren't limited to the two of them. He'd hoped, on some level, that he didn't actually mean it when he teased about Rin's awful performances as of late. Then again, this was Haru he was talking about, he should have known he was being completely blunt.  
“We should probably get out there” one of the young men grinned, picking up his swimming cap “Even Haruka doesn't exempt us from being on time”  
“We'll catch up in a minute” Haru agreed.  
In twos and threes they slowly trickled out of the room, and finally it was just Haru and Rin who were left, changing silently into their swimsuits. Rin wasn't entirely sure what to say, about anything really, so instead he looked at his bag and his gear like it took all his focus to get dressed.  
“What are you doing?” Haru asked, glancing back at him from the doorway “Are you ready?”  
“Yeah”  
He threw his jacket into the bag and zipped it closed, and Haru considered him as he drew closer.  
“What is it?”  
“What's what?”  
“What's wrong?”  
“Forget it”  
Haru frowned and took a little step to the side to stop Rin from pushing past him. Rin stopped a few paces away, and rolled his eyes as Haru waited pointedly.  
“This is usually the other way around” Haru mumbled, shaking his head. “I don't know what I did. Please tell me so I won't do it again”  
“It's literally my first day and you had to come right out of the gate talking me down?”  
“What? I didn't”  
“I heard you, Haru. I heard you blatantly telling them I wasn't as good as you”  
“When?”  
“Two minutes ago? You were talking to the blonde guy and said I don't compare to you”  
His jaw dropped open, and for a moment Rin thought he was going to laugh.  
“He asked if you're out of practice” Haru said, shaking his head slowly. “Did you listen to half a conversation and get grumpy about it?”  
“What?”  
“He's a flyer. He said he hadn't seen you at competition in ages, asked if you'd been taking time off. When I said yeah, he asked if you were out of shape, and I said no, I'm more out of shape than you are”  
“Are you lying to me?”  
“When have I ever lied to you? I mean, that you didn't see right through, at least”  
“I don't know. I'm never sure”  
“I don't lie to you”  
Rin grumbled a little, but conceded a nod, and Haru smiled slightly as he stepped aside.   
“Come on, time to show them what you're made of. They've heard way too many stories, don't let me down”

It had been a long time since either of them had been in a genuine training session, and by the time they finished Rin could barely support his own weight. He dropped onto a bench in the changing room and let out a long, low sigh that made the rest of the team laugh at him.  
“Been a while” he explained, with a little smile “You do this twice a day?”  
“Only four days a week. We have dryland on Tuesdays, and Thursday afternoons and Sundays off”  
“I have some work to do” Rin chuckled “I'm glad we're not here full-time yet”  
“What? Why not?”  
“Ah... I mean, we're not living in Tokyo” he shrugged, a little confused by the tone of voice. “We're visiting for a few more days and then going home for a bit”  
He seemed stunned by the information, and when Rin glanced up it seemed the rest of the room was equally surprised and confused.  
“You're not back permanently?” one of them asked Haru, with disappointment in his voice “Why not?”  
“Eventually” he assured them all, shaking his head “when we find jobs and somewhere to stay and everything. So if you know of any apartments going cheap...”  
“Yeah, we'll all keep an eye out” he smiled faintly “don't leave for too long, qualifications are coming up soon”  
“Haruka already has the times he needs” one of them pointed out quietly, shaking his head “technically he doesn't need to compete again before worlds”  
“And Matsuoka-san?”  
“Huh?” Rin's head shot up, taking a moment to register the words “Worlds? Yeah, I have times for two Fly events. I mean, I set them in Australia, but I don't think that matters”  
“He still needs a time for Free, so we'll be here” Haru smiled wryly, kicking him in the shin “Right?”  
“Yeah” Rin chuckled, nodding “I'll get it, don't you worry”  
“You better”  
Slowly they all began to part ways, excusing themselves to get to classes, jobs, appointments. Rin hung back and dawdled his way through getting dressed, watching fondly as each and every one of them stopped to exchange a few words with Haru on their way out. They were practically the same words, too, which amused Rin to no end.  
“It was really good to see you, Haruka. Come back again soon”  
When it was just the two of them alone again Rin finally pulled his bag over his shoulder, smiling at Haru as he zipped up his jacket.  
“Ready to go?”  
“Yeah”  
He badly wanted to hook his arm through Haru's or lace their fingers together as they walked, but he knew Haru would never forgive him if he did. Instead he folded his arms tightly over his chest, keeping them well out of the way of any unthinking gestures, and settled for watching the strange confidence Haru walked the halls with. It was more than just familiarity, it was like he owned the place.  
“We're back at six if you can make it” the coach told them, as they waved goodbye “we'd be glad to have you”  
“I'll be here” Haru agreed without hesitation “Rin's legs might not be working though”  
“They're made of jelly” Rin laughed “I'll do my best”  
“See you later, then”  
As they pushed through the last set of doors into the cool morning, Rin finally caved and threw his arm around Haru's shoulders. He squirmed a little but didn't pull away, and Rin kept it there as they walked to the station, hoping it looked at least mostly casual to anyone walking by.  
“I like them” Rin smiled, when Haru glanced up at him “and I like seeing you with them”  
“Why?”  
“I never expected you to have so many friends”  
He shrugged it off, and Rin grinned again as he squeezed a little tighter, pulling Haru up against his side for a moment. A tiny smile passed over Haru's lips, gone as quickly as it came, and it was all Rin could do to keep from kissing him then and there. Haru seemed to be struggling with the same thought, his cheeks tinged with pink as he looked away, and on a whim Rin steered him down a little alley between buildings, barely wide enough for the two of them to walk side by side. Before Haru could ask, Rin placed a hand on his chest and pushed him up against the building. He did his best to be gentle enough that Haru could pull away if he desperately wanted to, but it was still a firm push that left Haru wide-eyed. Rin wasted no time in bringing their lips together, his touch desperate and needy. Haru met him with equal enthusiasm, his arms slowly snaking up over Rin's shoulders and around the back of his neck to hold him close and tight. There was a sick sense of fear in the pit of his stomach, waiting for someone to look the wrong way at the wrong time and spot them, but it was overwhelmed by Rin's strong hand holding him against the wall, the other resting on the waistband of his pants, suddenly far too confining.  
“Rin” he moaned, as sharp teeth nipped at his neck “I want...”  
“No bruises” Rin murmured back “not this week”  
“But... Ah, Rin... I...”  
“You talk too much” Rin smirked, catching a brief smile from Haru as well. “Be quiet”  
“Mmn... Make me”  
There it was. Rin knew there was no way he'd forgotten that challenge so quickly, although he hadn't expected it to be thrown back at him in a dark, damp alleyway rather than the privacy of a bedroom. After another minute Haru pushed him off lightly, gasping for air as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve.  
“Screw it” he muttered, grabbing Rin's elbow and dragging him away “I know a place”  
“Woah, what?”  
“Don't ask”  
“I'm asking”  
“I'm not the only gay guy in Tokyo, alright?” he muttered, glancing around to make sure no-one was around to overhear them “I lived here long enough to learn things”  
Rin wasn't entirely sure what to say, wasn't even sure he understood, so he didn't bother to answer. He followed where Haru led, and after the longest twenty minutes of his life they stopped outside a rather obvious storefront.  
“There's no way” Rin shook his head “they won't even let us”  
“It's fine” Haru mumbled, grabbing his wallet and punching a few buttons on what was essentially a vending machine “Like I said, I know stuff”  
“Are you telling me you've been here with someone before?”  
“No, I would never. I heard stories”  
Rin was fully expecting to be intercepted by a staff member as he followed Haru into the building, but not a soul was to be seen. He was equally surprised to find what looked like any other hotel room when Haru unlocked the door, not the type of sleazy dump he'd always assumed they would be. As soon as the door was closed Haru had his coat and shirt off, and Rin stared at him as he reached for his pants.   
“You as well” Haru said firmly, bringing heat to Rin's cheeks “Take them off”  
“Yes Sir” he mumbled, obediently slipping his jeans down to his ankles. “Should we really be doing this?”  
“You have no idea.” He shook his head faintly, and took over removing Rin's layers of clothing. “You're too slow”  
“You're fast enough for the both of us”  
Haru smirked, throwing Rin's shirt aside and immediately meeting his lips again. This time it was Rin who found himself shoved up against a wall, struggling to breathe but barely even noticing, his hands running around to Haru's lower back, to the band of his slightly damp swimsuit. He could hear himself gasping and moaning under Haru's touch, but couldn't do anything to stop it, and in the end he gave up trying.   
“It's been torture” Haru mumbled between kisses, his forehead pressed to Rin's. “Sleeping next to you and not being able to touch”  
“Yeah” Rin said breathlessly, cracking a smile “I know”  
“When we get our apartment” he continued, pausing to kiss Rin's neck again “I propose a pants-in-bed ban”  
“I was thinking pants-in-apartment”  
“That works too”  
Haru was surprisingly strong as he pulled Rin off the wall and pushed him toward the bed, shoving him back against the covers and leaning over to bite at his lower lip. Rin pulled him in hungrily, burning red when Haru brushed against his underwear and the rather obvious damp spot, but he was far too busy to tease.  
“Haru?” he gasped, when they parted for a moment “Are we paying by the hour?”  
“No, it's a weekday. We can pretty much stay all day”  
“Good”

Rin handed over the drink and quickly climbed back into the water, grinning as they clinked their glasses together. He'd been a little disappointed to discover there was no alcohol in the room, although not really surprised, but seeing Haru's face when he discovered the giant bathtub was just as good. They sat side by side in the water, flipping through channels on the TV opposite, and Rin couldn't think of the last time he saw Haru so happy. Whether it was their exploits over the past few hours, the bathtub, or the fact that he could lean over and hug or kiss Rin without hesitation, Rin couldn't be entirely sure. He suspected, however, that it was the bath.  
“So really, how did you know about this place?”  
“I told you. I've met other gay people”  
“And they shared stories about their love hotel exploits?”  
“Yeah”  
“Really?”  
“Uh huh”  
Rin extended one leg and slid it behind Haru's back, then wound an arm around his waist to pull him into his lap. Haru didn't even protest once, just leaned back against Rin's chest comfortably and took another sip of his drink.  
“We need an apartment with a big bath” he said lightly “so we can do this again”  
“I think that's gonna be a big ask”  
“When we get a house, then”  
“You want a house instead, now?”  
“No, I mean... You know, one day. Eventually”  
“Okay” he smiled, kissing Haru's cheek. “One day”

Haru opened the door to Makoto's apartment and immediately shot him an apologetic look. Rin followed him inside and sat down in the middle of the living room, laying spread-eagled on the floor.  
“I'm exhausted” he groaned “why do I do this to myself?”  
“Sorry” Haru offered, gesturing at Makoto with his phone “we got caught up and it totally slipped my mind, I didn't check my phone until hours later”  
“It's okay” Makoto smiled, brushing it off “another time”  
“Yeah, definitely”  
“Everyone was really happy to see him back” Rin offered, hoping to form some kind of an explanation in Makoto's mind “did you know he actually had friends?”  
“Friends? Not just teammates?”  
“Can't they be both?” Haru frowned slightly “Do I have to choose?”  
“No, they can be both” Makoto smiled “They must have missed you”  
“It was like Christmas when he walked in, they all lit up like it was the best day of their life” Rin laughed “Our Haru is super popular, apparently”  
“It's not a big deal” Haru shrugged, rifling through Rin's bag to find his damp gear to rinse out. “I spend a lot of time with them”  
He vacated the room to go and clean their swimsuits, and Makoto gave Rin a pointed look as he sat down beside his collapsed form and handed over a beer can.  
“Is he really?”  
“They all call him by his first name and he doesn't seem even a little bothered by it”  
“No way”  
“Right? They talked a bunch – he held actual conversations – and then we had lunch in Shinjuku. We both totally blanked on your plans, sorry. He felt really guilty when he realised.”  
“It's okay, I told them I wasn't sure he would make it. Next time I'll choose a day where you don't need to be back at training in the evening, I'm sure there wasn't much point coming back here and then going back anyway”  
“Maybe not. We have Sunday off, if that would work. You guys should do something, either way. I have him ninety-nine percent of the day”  
“I'll see what people are doing, I'm sure they'd be happy to”  
“And I think Tuesday we're going to head back to Iwatobi for a bit. I don't think we'll be gone long, he doesn't really want to leave”  
“You don't have to. You know that, right? If you want to stay you're welcome to”  
“I have things to do back home as well, unfortunately. Thank you though. We'll be back again when we start viewing apartments and all that. If it's okay”  
“Of course it is”  
They both smiled when Haru came back, throwing a clean and dry swimsuit in his bag for the next day, and waited patiently for him to voice the words that were playing on his lips.  
“We don't have training tomorrow evening” he said finally, motioning toward Rin. “Are you doing anything, Makoto?”  
“Only until noon”  
“You and I should do something, even if the others can't. Let me buy you lunch”  
“Really?”  
“Really. Since you let us stay here and everything”  
“I'd like that. Thank you”  
“You can choose where. I'll meet you on campus, Rin can get himself home safely”  
“I'll go do the souvenir shopping I keep putting off” Rin smiled “I'll be fine”  
“Then it's settled” Makoto nodded, smiling softly “I'm looking forward to it”  
“Yeah, me too”  
Rin pulled out his phone to send a couple of messages, exchanging an amused look with Makoto when Haru turned his back, and after a minute he hauled himself off the ground. He grabbed a handful of Haru's shirt and dragged him over to join them, throwing a cushion under him and shoving him lightly to the ground.  
“Sit and hang out with us, stop wandering”  
“Fine”  
“By the way, I was thinking we need a new nickname for you” he mused, managing to keep a straight face “any ideas?”  
“Why?”  
“Because those guys you swim free with call you Haru too, now it doesn't feel special anymore”  
“Very funny”  
“Really though, how did that happen?”  
“I told them to”  
Makoto almost spat out his drink, and Haru cracked a smile in return.  
“They asked what people call me, and I said my friends call me Haru. They decided they were my friends”  
“That's not the same as telling them to!”  
“I know”  
“You're such a tease” Rin laughed, hugging him tightly “I like seeing you so happy”  
“You can stop now”  
“Never”

Haru was already sound asleep when Rin and Makoto decided to pack up their empty cans and head the same way, sprawled across the mattress on his back with zero room left for Rin to join him.   
“Good luck with that” Makoto grinned, as Rin looked down at the bed with a sigh “I suggest you get a bigger bed for your apartment”  
“That was the plan” Rin smiled fondly “I've had to deal with this more than once”  
“I'm not surprised”   
“It's okay, I know how to handle it”  
“Yeah?”  
He pulled the covers back and wedged a hand under Haru's side, rolling him over despite the little grumbled protests that came with it.   
“He hogs the blankets, too” Rin offered as Makoto laughed at them “He's just the worst”  
By the time Rin slid into the blankets Haru had already rolled over again, throwing one arm over Rin's side and nuzzling into his shoulder. His eyes didn't open even once as he got comfortable, snuggling into Rin's back, and Rin pulled the arm a little tighter around him. Haru's breath was warm on his neck, slow and even, and Rin was pretty sure he hadn't woken up even a little in the process.   
“I think I have kind of a job interview tomorrow” Rin mentioned, as Makoto started to crawl into his own blankets. “So if I'm not here when you guys get back, that's why”  
“Already? That's great, good luck”  
“Nothing major, but it's a start. Haru doesn't know yet, I'll tell him when I get back”  
“I'm sure he'll be really happy for you”  
“Hopefully. Are you leaving early?”  
“I actually have a sleep in”  
“Yeah? Lucky you. I'll keep quiet when we're heading out”  
“Thank you, I guess I'll see you tomorrow afternoon”  
“Yeah, goodnight”  
“Sleep well”  
Rin shuffled in a little tighter to Haru's grasp and immediately felt Haru's arm tighten to match, even though his soft, slumbering breaths didn't change. There was something comforting about how clingy he was at night, when he wasn't conscious to stop himself. It was like a nightly reminder that he genuinely did want Rin's company, even if he would never say it out loud. He slept a lot easier now than he had in the beginning, less tense and confined, but mostly Rin was just happy that he didn't have to initiate contact every time anymore.  
Haru stirred a little, loosening his grip, and Rin smiled as he rolled over to see Haru's sleepy blue eyes crack open.  
“Go back to sleep” he murmured, planting a little kiss on Haru's lips “I didn't mean to wake you”  
“You didn't,” he mumbled back, balling his hands in Rin's shirt, “hug me.”  
“If you insist”  
He wound his arms around Haru's strong frame, holding him tight to his chest, and Haru relaxed immediately into his touch.  
“Thanks.” He sighed contentedly, his cheek resting on Rin's shoulder. “Night”  
“Sweet dreams”


	13. Chapter 13

Watching Haru swim was always a thing of wonder, significantly amplified by the sense of ambition and desire that had reared its head. The fire inside him had started burning again, and his times were picking up at record speed. Rin felt like he was finally starting to understand what people had been telling him, about Haru being a different swimmer, a different person, when he was in Tokyo. Somehow he had never noticed the lack of confidence in Haru's swimming before. He had always been fast, strong, incredibly talented, but he had always earned his medals. Now it was more like he demanded them.  
“You're up, Rin.”  
He tore his eyes away and grinned at the teammates around him, who had all been so quick to welcome him into their group. He'd done his butterfly for the day and now it was finally his chance to catch up with Haru. Well, to point himself in that direction.  
He'd quickly gotten used to the feel of the pool, not all that different from where he'd been training in Australia. Diving in felt peaceful, made him smile to himself, and he had to force himself to concentrate on the task at hand. Faster strokes, stronger kicks, less breathing and more power. He had to figure it out somehow, and quickly if he intended to compete the first meet against Haru.  
Haru was still well ahead of him, though. Moving faster despite being on his third lap when Rin was still on his first. His stamina had been better than Haru's for as long as he could remember, but it seemed like even that tide was beginning to turn.  
He laughed when he found Haru's hand waiting for him at the end of his set, poised to help haul him over the side, and Haru gave him a little smile of his own as their fingers reluctantly parted. It was all business when they were at training, that was the way it had to be. Even without their worries over what the team might think, if this was meant to be their futures, their careers, then they couldn't afford to be distracted by affection.  
Or staring. He would start working on that one tomorrow. 

It felt strange to wander the streets alone, without Haru at his side. He wasn't unfamiliar with travelling alone, finding his way around different cities and public transport systems, but somehow it had come to feel a little lonely.  
He had managed, though, to find the places he was looking for and meet up with the people he'd been exchanging emails with. People desperate for help that Rin actually seemed well-equipped to provide. In Australia his English had been pretty mediocre, enough for day to day life but still laced with misunderstandings at inopportune times. In Japan, though, he felt practically fluent in it. They had all been nice people, too. Intelligent, happy to be there, grateful that he had taken the time to meet with them.  
He had decided against telling them he had arranged four different meetings the same afternoon, it seemed too mean.  
They had all seemed keen to have him back though, which was a great start, and he had promised to let them know as soon as he got back to Tokyo so they could get started.  
Maybe he would consider a career in tourism of some sort, translating for tourists and giving directions. Tokyo would probably be a good market for that, with plenty of tourism hotspots on hand.  
Haru and Makoto would be getting back to the apartment soon, Rin knew, and it was about time for him to start heading back too. He had stopped on his way to the station for a few little trinkets to bring back for his mother and sister, as well as to keep up his souvenir-shopping cover story, and they were tucked safely into his bag along with a few snacks for his swim bag. He'd been starving after training that morning and was totally unprepared for it, like he'd forgotten how to function on an elite level.  
He wasn't sure why he'd decided not to tell Haru about the interviews. To lie, essentially. He knew it wasn't the right thing to do, he was even pretty sure Haru would have been happy for him, but on some level he still felt like Haru was just playing along for his sake, pretending he wanted to be in Tokyo because that was what Rin wanted. He didn't want to put any more weight on that idea, wanted to seem totally impartial and uninvested when it came time for that conversation.  
That conversation.  
He hated the thought of it, of dragging answers out of Haru once more. But he would have to get it over with sooner or later, he knew.  
Preferably sooner.

Rin didn't seem terribly happy when he got back, and Haru found himself surprised not only at the lack of enthusiasm, but at himself for noticing. He immediately shuffled over on the bed to make room, watching expectantly as Rin shed his bag and hoodie.  
“What?” Rin asked, raising an eyebrow. “Why are you staring?”  
“I missed you. Come sit with me.”  
He cracked a little smile finally and nodded, collapsing obediently onto the blankets and reaching for Haru's hand.  
“Did you have a good afternoon?” he asked, as Haru squeezed his hand firmly. “How was lunch?”  
“It was good. We had a nice time. Did you get your shopping done?”  
“Yeah, all sorted.”  
“So you're okay, then?”  
“Yeah, why wouldn't I be? Did something happen?”  
“You don't seem happy”  
Rin smiled, pressing his lips to the back of Haru's hand.  
“I missed you”  
“That's not an answer”  
“Yes it is. I felt weird being apart from you. I'm happy now, here.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“I've never been more sure of anything”  
Haru grabbed a handful of Rin's shirt and pulled him in, not an ounce of hesitation left in him about finding Rin's lips. After a moment of wide-eyed surprise Rin reluctantly pried him off, glancing around the empty room.  
“Where's Makoto?”  
“Library, he's working on a group project”  
“Oh. So he's not here?”  
“No, not for a few more hours”  
“Then by all means” Rin smirked “let's continue with the making out”  
“Finally”

By the time Makoto got back it was well past sunset, and Rin and Haru had all but exhausted themselves. He knew exactly what had been going on when he found them sprawled across the bed, hair a mess, still breathing a little heavier than usual. The thought made him smile, which he knew was weird, but he had watched them tiptoe around each other for years, making comments so thinly veiled that only the two of them had not caught on, and he just kind of figured it was about time they gave in. He wanted to ask about Rin's interviews, but he was pretty sure that information had not yet been divulged to Haru, so he restrained himself as he began to unload his bag.  
“Long day?” he teased.  
“Yeah,” Rin chuckled, “good, but long.”  
“Better than bad and long”  
“True enough. Have you eaten?”  
“Yeah, we grabbed food while we worked.”  
“Oh good.”  
“Will you two quit with the small talk?” Haru grumbled, rolling over to lean his head against Rin's side. “You always talk like you just ran into each other at the coffee machine.”  
“Do we?” Rin laughed “I thought we had totally normal conversations.”  
“You're practically talking about the weather.”  
“I'm sorry, I guess?”  
“I need sleep,” he yawned, his eyes drifting closed. “You wore me out.”  
“You should probably shower first, you smell like chlorine.”  
“I always do,” he grumbled, but obediently found his way to his feet. “Don't move, I'll be back soon.”  
“Yes Sir” Rin smirked “I'll be here waiting.”  
For once he didn't linger in the water for an hour, he was in and out quickly and ready to get right back into bed, but as he reached for the door handle he froze.  
“I just don't know how he's going to react” Rin said softly, strangely somber. “I don't know how to tell him.”  
“He'll be fine,” Makoto assured him. “You don't have to try and protect him, Haru is a big boy and can make his own decisions.”  
They shut up quickly when Haru opened the door, watching as he silently made his way into the living room and crawled under the blankets.  
“I'll be with you in five minutes,” Rin assured him with a smile. “Don't fall asleep without me this time.”  
“Yeah”  
He pulled the blankets up over his nose and watched as Rin took up his place in the bathroom, waiting for the water to start before he let his gaze drift to Makoto.  
“What are you not telling me?” he mumbled.  
“What?”  
“You two are keeping something from me.”  
Makoto managed a slightly sad smile, and shook his head.  
“It's not a big deal, don't worry. He'll tell you when he figures out how.”  
“Should I be concerned?”  
“No, not at all. I don't know why he thinks it's hard to tell you.”  
“Can't you just tell me?”  
“I shouldn't.”  
“If it isn't a big deal, there's no reason to wait for him to tell me.”  
Makoto sighed, but after a moment he conceded a nod.  
“He went to some job interviews today. It would only be a few hours a week, but it's a start. It sounds like they went well.”  
“Why would he not tell me that?” Haru frowned, “that doesn't need to be a secret.”  
“He thinks he's pushing you or something, influencing your decision.”  
Haru considered it for a minute, taking far longer than he felt was necessary to catch on and understand.  
“About staying in Tokyo?”  
“Yeah”  
“Does he think I want to leave?”  
“He's not sure. Neither am I, to be entirely honest. Do you really want to stay? Or is it just because of Rin?”  
“I didn't want to leave in the first place. I told him that.”  
“Then why did you stay away for so long?”  
“What was I supposed to do, Makoto? I don't have a home or a job or anything like that here. At least back there I had my parents' house, I didn't have to worry about paying bills.”  
“You could have stayed here.”  
“Not for a year.”  
“I wouldn't have minded.”  
They stared at each other for a long, silent moment, and in the end it was Makoto who broke the gaze with a little smile.  
“What's done is done. You're back here now, and we're gonna find a way to help make it work for you. Forget about the last year, it doesn't matter anymore.”  
“I guess I need to find a job.”  
“It might help,” Makoto laughed, “I'll let you know if I hear of anything suitable.”  
“Thank you.”  
Rin came back with damp, messy hair hanging around his face, a towel draped around his shoulders to protect his shirt from the drips. He was warm when he climbed into the blankets at Haru's side, and as he ducked his head forward to dry his hair Haru couldn't help but watch him fondly.  
“I need to start looking for a job,” he said, when Rin looked his way. “I don't know what I'd be good at, though.”  
“Something artistic? Or cooking?”  
“Maybe.”  
“You'll find something, don't stress.”  
“Yeah, I know. Besides, Makoto said I can just live here if I can't pay bills.”  
“That's not exactly what I said,” Makoto laughed. “You can at least try.”  
“Yeah, I will. But not tonight, too much effort.”  
“Fair enough,” Rin smiled warmly, casting aside his towel in favour of lying down with Haru. “Get some sleep, then. Early start again tomorrow.”  
“As always. Goodnight.”  
He curled in under Rin's arm and was out like a light, to the point where Rin wasn't entirely convinced he wasn't faking it to eavesdrop.  
“Thoughts?” Rin smiled wryly, looking over at Makoto again. “He knows, right?”  
“Yeah” Makoto grinned, nodding. “He knows, and he really does want to stay here, regardless of what you do or say. Just go with it.”  
“I guess I will. Thanks for all your help, it's far easier to work out what's going on in his head with two of us.”  
“Any time”


	14. Chapter 14

Four more days.  
The reminder kept ringing through Haru's brain, tormenting him, demanding his attention.  
“It's not for long,” he muttered to himself, shaking his head. “We'll be back here soon.”  
“Everything okay?”  
He looked up with a start and saw the familiar look of fear cross over Rin's face, shaking his head quickly before Rin could utter another word.  
“It wasn't like that. I just didn't hear you coming.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah. I was just thinking about stuff.”  
“What kind of stuff?”  
“All the things I need to do back in Iwatobi.”  
“Is it a long list?”  
“Not really. Mostly just working out what to bring with me and what to leave behind.”  
“That shouldn't take long.”  
“Yeah.”  
Rin leaned over to kiss his cheek lightly, smiling to himself.  
“We can be back here soon, if you want.”  
“I do. Want, I mean.”  
“I suspected as much. Don't want to miss too much training, yeah?”  
“Yeah”  
He couldn't quite bring himself to meet Rin's eyes, and he knew Rin had noticed, knew his friend was trying to decipher his thoughts even as they gathered their things to leave the building.   
“I have some money,” he began, as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Not much, but some.”  
“Me too,” Rin nodded. “I'm working on finding enough work to get by.”  
“I know. I'll try too.”  
“So what are you getting at?”  
“I don't mind using it,” he explained, “to... start paying rent, and everything. So we can just...”  
“Move here sooner?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Are you sure that's what you want?”  
“Yeah.”  
Rin eyed him again hesitantly, and a little smile crossed Haru's lips.   
“More than anything.”  
“Okay,” Rin grinned back. “But right now we should get to training, lest we be kicked off the team before we find an apartment.”

A few of the team members had brought in advertisements for Rin and Haru to survey, and Rin couldn't help but laugh when they produced them.  
“I guess they really want you to stay” Rin teased, as Haru leaned over to look at the circled ads. “They went out looking just for you.”  
“I want to stay too, I appreciate it.” Haru said without a hint of reservation, “they look interesting.”  
“Worth checking out” Rin agreed, “we could look over the weekend.”  
“Yeah, sounds good.”  
Haru seemed more sure than ever that he wanted to stay, and that made it much easier for Rin to talk about, even to think about. He was finally starting to make plans, to think about logistics, to start mapping out days and dates in his head.  
“Plus, you can always come stay with us.”   
They'd had that offer a few times now, not the least of which from Makoto, and even though he doubted they would take any of them up on it, it was definitely nice to hear. To know they were wanted – or at least Haru was, but they seemed plenty friendly toward Rin too, so he tried to convince himself the offers extended to them both.  
“I like this one” Haru announced, pointing at one of the ads. “We should look at this one.”  
It was a reasonable price, in a reasonable area, and there was no sign of any water in the pictures, so Rin frankly had no idea why Haru had chosen it.  
“Yeah?” he asked after a moment, scanning the description again and wondering if he'd somehow forgotten how to read the words 'pool' or 'beach.' “How come?”   
“I knew some people who lived around there, they had nice apartments.”  
“Oh.”  
The answer was much more simple than Rin had expected, and somehow confusing, considering the convoluted explanations he had started to deduce in his mind.  
“We can go look,” he added after a moment, “it looks nice.”  
“Tomorrow?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay.”  
“But for now we should probably get in the pool.”  
Haru glanced at the clock on the wall, then nodded.  
“Yeah, okay.”  
They packed away the print-outs and newspapers, and Rin smirked as Haru tugged at the hem of his jammer, covering a faint purple stain that had spread down his thigh. Haru refused to meet his eyes, but he knew it was weighing on his mind, a constant nagging worry that his shorts would ride up and expose the mess of his skin. Not that Rin didn't have a few bruises of his own. They were all easily covered other than one on his shoulder that Haru had actually deigned to apologise for, but thankfully it looked pretty innocuous and noone had questioned its origins so far. Thoughts of marks and scratches and bruises disappeared from his mind when they started working, and instead Rin could only think about how it felt like his legs were going to give out on him long before training was over. He wasn't sure if he was just out of shape or if this was significantly worse than his training in Australia, but either way he wasn't going to admit how much he was suffering. Not when Haru and his friends were all running through their sets like it was no big deal. No, he was going to prove that he was just as good as the rest of them, that his qualifying times were legitimate, and that he could post those same times consistently at every meet before Worlds. That was what they wanted to see, and Rin knew it. Now he just had to fluke himself into a freestyle time.

Rin's eyes lit up as he looked out over the city, the lights of the buildings and streets stretching as far as the eye could see. From one side he could see the ferris wheel and the bridge they had visited on their first date, and looking at them made him smile all over again as he remembered the amount of effort Haru had put in just to make Rin happy.   
They had debated whether to go that night, after two long training sessions, but the weather had been good, and not as cold as the previous nights, so eventually they'd decided they wouldn't get a better chance before they left again. It was worth the trip, though, Rin thought. At least for him. Maybe not for Haru, who had seen it before. He seemed pretty content too, though, following Rin around and admiring the view with him, watching the lights brighten as the sky grew dark. Multiple times Rin almost grabbed Haru's hand to drag him to a window and caught himself at the last moment, but Haru didn't seem to notice, hadn't said anything or looked at all concerned, so Rin figured he was in the clear. Despite all the other people around them on their own missions to see the city from above, Rin felt like it was only the two of them in the world, in their own little bubble. He liked that feeling. Like noone else mattered, even in the most crowded of places. Just Rin and Haru, like it was always meant to be.  
It was cold outside when they decided to head for home – Makoto's home, that was. Haru had been doing that more and more lately. Rin huddled inside his jacket as they sat on the train, and while Haru didn't so much mind the weather himself, he felt obligated to find a way to make it better for Rin. He didn't have blankets or extra sweaters on him, but he did know where to find a little cafe that would still be open, so when they stepped off the train he dragged Rin into the warm building and sat him at a table to wait. Rin's face fell into a soft smile when Haru returned and pressed a warm mug into his hands, letting their touch linger for just a moment before he sat down opposite with his own drink.   
“Better?” he asked, when Rin had taken a few sips and warmed his numb fingers on the porcelain. “Warming up?”  
“Yeah” Rin agreed with another fond smile, “you're very protective sometimes.”  
“I don't want you to get cranky about the weather again.”  
“Sorry.”  
“It's okay” Haru shrugged “I'll take care of it.”  
“You're sweet,” Rin laughed, “I'm really damn lucky.”  
“What? Why?”  
“Because I have you”  
Haru's face turned a faint shade of pink before he hid it away behind a sip from his mug, and Rin couldn't resist another laugh at him.   
“Don't I?”  
“Yeah, you do. Whether you want me or not.”  
“I do.”  
“Good.”  
They exchanged a fond little smile, and Rin stared into his cup for a moment as he set it down on the table.  
“Thank you.”  
“What? For what?” Haru frowned. “What are you talking about?”  
“I wasn't sure how things would go, coming back here. I just knew that I was done with what I wanted to accomplish in Australia, and for the next step I either had to come back home or find a way to move there permanently. I wasn't sure which one it was going to be until I saw you again, but now it's not even a question.”  
“I didn't know” Haru frowned, “you were going to give up on being an Olympian?”  
“I could maybe have done it there. Eventually. But this way feels far more... Right.”  
“This is how it was always meant to be” Haru agreed, with a strangely tender smile. “Us. At the top together.”  
“Yeah,” Rin agreed, grinning back. “This was always how it was going to end up.”  
“Somehow.”  
“The universe always finds a way.”


	15. Chapter 15

Rin started to climb out of bed and immediately felt Haru's arms tighten, making him halt in his tracks. He sighed, but despite himself a little smile found its way out, and he leaned down to press a kiss to Haru's cheek.  
“Time to wake up,” he chuckled. “You're cute, but we'll be late for training.”  
Haru groaned and loosened his grip, but still his eyes remained firmly shut.  
“Come on. Don't make me tickle you awake.”  
Haru pulled a face and obediently cracked his eyes open, looking up at Rin's teasing grin.   
“I'll make breakfast while you get your butt out of bed.”  
He reached over and squeezed it lightly to emphasise his point, getting a little blush out of Haru that he pulled the blankets up to hide. Rin could feel the eyes burning into his back as he pulled a hoodie on, realising he was no longer entirely sure whether it was his or Haru's originally, and he smirked as he glanced back at Haru's enthralled gaze.  
“Waiting for me to put on a show?”  
“You already are”  
He finally caved and hopped back onto the bed, pinning Haru to the mattress with his hips and leaning down over him. Strands of long hair brushed against Haru's cheeks and all he could do was stare up at the little smirk with wide eyes, frozen as he waited for Rin to make a move, any move really. A little yelp escaped him when Rin's fingertips ran up his sides, and he squirmed to no avail.  
“Rin!” he insisted, struggling for air. “Rin, stop!”  
“You gonna get out of bed?”  
“Yes, okay!”  
“Good boy,” Rin laughed, climbing off him. “Come on then”  
“I mean... You could have...”  
“I could have what?”  
“You could have at least kissed me.” Haru grimaced, sitting up obediently. “You were right there.”  
“You could have kissed me, too.”  
“I was distracted.”  
“I'll kiss you when you're ready to leave.”  
“Fine,” Haru pouted. “Jerk.”  
“Don't give me that look.” Rin sighed, touching his hand to Haru's cheek and planting a kiss on his lips. “There, happy now?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Really though, start getting ready, we're gonna be late.”  
“Yeah, okay.”  
Makoto had managed to sleep through their entire exchange, so Rin covered the last plate of food and left it on the counter for him, shutting the door quietly as they headed out into the cold morning air. Even with the heavy layers covering his swimsuit Rin still felt frozen to the bone as they walked, barely putting one foot in front of the other. Haru squeezed in close to him on the train in a valiant attempt to share some of his body heat, unnoticed by the near-empty carriage. Rin smiled at him gratefully, wishing not for the first time, nor likely the last, that he had the courage to put his arm around Haru's back or intertwine their fingers. Maybe one day they would be able to sit in the stands between events, with all the cameras of a world stage on them, and share all the affection they could possibly ask for. That would be a long way away though, if ever, and in the meantime he knew it was too risky to put them in the spotlight in that way. He just had to take all those feelings, crush them into a tiny ball, and jam it way down deep inside of himself. When they had their own apartment he could gladly drag them back up and shower Haru with all the affection in the world, until he begged Rin to let him have just one moment of peace, but even that day was further away than he would have liked.  
“Haru?”  
“Yeah?”  
“We should go look at that apartment this afternoon.”  
“Okay.”  
“Unless you've changed your mind?”  
“No, of course not. Why, have you?”  
“I'll live in an alleyway behind a convenience store if that's what it takes.”  
“To swim here?”  
“No.” Rin smirked, catching Haru's eye briefly. “I can swim anywhere.”  
“Then to...?” He trailed off, glancing around the carriage before lowering his voice to barely a whisper. “To live with me?”  
“Bingo.”  
“I want that too.”  
“Yeah, I know. Soon, I promise.”  
“I wish we didn't have so much to do first. That it could just be done, be now.”  
“Me too.”  
“I wish... I wish we didn't need to go back.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“To pack and everything. I wish we could just...”  
“You want to stay here?”  
“Yeah.”  
Rin considered him for a moment, the strange apprehension in his body, the look on his face that could almost be pain.  
“Can I ask why?”  
“It would be easier.”  
“Easier like less work, or like...?”  
Haru didn't answer him, and Rin nodded slowly.  
“You could stay with Makoto. He wouldn't mind.”  
“But then you'd be gone.”  
“Only for a couple of days. It's your choice, Haru. You decide whether it's going to be easier to go back or to stay without me, and we'll make it work.”  
“I would miss you.”  
“I would miss you too, but we could still talk a ton. Would you sleep okay do you think?”  
“Maybe not as well, but... It would only be a few days. Like you said.”  
“Yeah. And you'd still have Makoto with you, and all your teammates to hang out with during the day and keep you busy.”  
“Yeah.”  
“You wouldn't have brought it up if it wasn't what you wanted.”  
“Maybe.”  
“Think about it and we'll see what happens, yeah? You don't have to decide right this second.”  
“Okay.”  
Rin managed a smile as he nudged Haru with his shoulder, getting a little shove with an elbow in return.

The apartment was small, but well-maintained, clean, and an easy trip from the pool. More importantly, though, it had a proper bathtub, unlike the tiny cubes Rin had been seeing in advertisements. The price wasn't bad either, which made Rin wonder if something was wrong with the place, but frankly he didn't want to know.  
He would still have to find more work hours, what he had so far wouldn't cut it even for a cheap apartment, but he didn't feel too threatened by that thought just yet.  
“What do you think, Haru?” He asked, watching the young man survey the room. “Acceptable?”  
“Yeah. I like it.”  
“Me too.”  
“And it has a bath.”  
“Yeah, I saw,” Rin laughed. “I thought you'd appreciate that.”  
“Is this it?”  
“If you want it to be.”  
“I think I do.”  
“Okay then.” Rin grinned at him, “this is the one.”  
“Ours” Haru mumbled, testing the word. “Our apartment.”  
The paperwork would take a little while to go through, but just hearing the words made Rin happy, relieved even. They would have a place to come back to, after packing their things. They would have a home to come to where they didn't have to worry about intruding on friends. That thought was strange, daunting, but exciting at the same time.   
“Rin?”  
“Huh? Yeah?”  
He snapped back to attention, and Haru looked at him with a flash of confusion in his eyes.   
“Is everything okay?”  
“Everything is great” Rin assured him with another smile. “I'm in disbelief I guess, but happy.”  
“Me too.”  
By the time they got back to the pool it was all starting to sink in, and Rin felt almost proud of them for finding their own place to live, for setting out into the big, scary world.  
Admittedly, he'd done that a long time ago, when he decided to move halfway across the world to swim. But he'd been a child then, he'd been good at hiding his nerves and replacing them with unbridled enthusiasm for the sake of the people around him. Not to mention he'd had people on the other side waiting for him, helping him out. This was different, more independent he supposed.  
Not that he'd ever have considered it without Haru at his side.  
Haru was telling his teammates all about the apartment they'd signed on for while Rin mulled it over, and they all seemed strangely enthusiastic about it, incredibly happy for them. It would keep Haru in Tokyo, Rin assumed was the big excitement, although maybe he was being too cynical. Maybe these people were just genuinely happy for him. For them.  
No, he was pretty sure it was the Haru thing.

Rin felt more like he was pacing than swimming, making agitated laps up and down the pool as he waited for Haru to finish his impromptu meeting with the coach. He hadn't seemed at all bothered when they asked him to come to the office, but Rin's brain was flooded with a thousand different problems that could have come up, at least half of them involving the words “Rin has to leave.”  
When the door finally opened again he hauled himself out of the pool and followed Haru through to the changing rooms, dripping water all over the floor as he waited for Haru to look back.  
“Everything is fine” Haru told him knowingly, “I'm not in trouble or anything like that.”  
“Is it a big secret or something?”  
“No, I'll tell you” he shook his head, digging through his bag for a hoodie. “On our way back.”  
“You're killing me here”  
“I'll start while you get dressed, then.”  
With a little smile Rin made for his own bag, picking up his towel to start drying off while Haru sat down lightly on one of the benches.  
“He's been talking with one of the companies who help fund the team, they were asking him about advertisements or endorsements or something and throwing ideas around. They've decided they want someone to be in an ad for them, and asked for the person he had the most faith in to medal at worlds.”  
“That's fantastic!”  
“I don't know.”  
“What are you not sure about?”  
Haru went quiet as he considered it, and Rin took the opportunity to finish getting dressed, offering Haru a hand up as he shouldered his bag.  
“What if I don't medal?” he asked finally, letting Rin haul him to his feet. “I don't want to let them down.”  
“If you don't medal, no one will” Rin said with all the confidence in the world, “they can't fault you if you do your best and don't quite make it”  
“They can, though.”  
“They won't. It's not like they're going to put it in your contract that you have to medal or else. They just want someone to represent them on an international stage.”  
“I guess so.”  
The walk to the train station grew quiet, but as they waited on the platform Haru looked up at Rin with a strange, contemplative look in his eyes, watching as the wind lightly ruffled at long hair and caused Rin to fold his arms around himself.  
“I should tell them to take you instead.”  
“What?”  
“You'd be better at it, and you're practically guaranteed a win in butterfly.”  
“You're practically guaranteed a win in freestyle, what's your point?”  
“You perform better under pressure.”  
“I really don't,” Rin scoffed, “they asked you for a reason, you should do it. Might even save you from finding a job a little longer.”  
“I'll think about it.”  
“Haru, look at it this way,” Rin began, as they squished into a train car. “They asked for a medalist, right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“They never specified a gold medalist. Do you really think you're going to leave Worlds without even a bronze?”  
Haru thought about it for a minute, then shrugged.   
“It's possible. I don't know.”  
“Enter more than one event and you're practically guaranteed one. I'm sure you could convince your coach to put you in a few lengths.”  
“I guess so.”  
“Sleep on it and in the morning you can call and tell them you'll do it.”  
“You have a lot of faith in me.”  
“I always have, and you haven't let me down so far.”  
Haru smiled faintly and it made Rin laugh even in the middle of the train, elbowing him in the ribs.  
“Seriously, at least meet with them and ask what they're looking for, it can't hurt to try.”  
“Yeah, okay.”


	16. Chapter 16

Haru groaned when Rin started to climb out of bed, fumbling for his arm for a moment but quickly giving up, instead rolling over to shove his head under a pillow.  
“Sorry” Rin whispered, chuckling to himself. “Didn't mean to wake you.”  
“Come back.”  
“Sorry” he said again, leaning over to drop a kiss on Haru's cheek. “Maybe later.”  
“Where are you going?”  
“Running”  
“Now?”  
“Pretty much.”  
Haru groaned again but finally sat up, a little less annoyed when he spotted Rin's bare torso right in front of him.  
“Wait, I should come.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, let me get dressed.”  
Rin smiled when Haru began to fumble his way out of the blankets, watching the amusing lack of coordination the morning brought with it.  
“Do you want to do a long one?” Haru asked, as he searched his suitcase for clean clothes. “We could do the palace.”  
“Yeah? How far?”  
“Less than ten”  
“That sounds good.”  
“Okay, give me a minute.”  
Rin had to hand it to him, he certainly knew his way around. He never once had to stop and check directions on their way into the busier part of the city, never broke his stride, just kept a steady pace and occasionally pointed at a road to warn Rin to turn. There were a lot of people around for early on a Sunday morning, but plenty of other runners and joggers seemed to be taking the same path, so no one bothered to look at them twice as they wove their way through the people on the footpaths. The area itself was perfect too, clean and green and pretty. Haru had a knack for picking out running routes with a good view. Although watching Haru himself wasn't bad either. A wide moat stretched around the perimeter of the grounds and Rin suspected that was how Haru had mapped the trail originally, following his precious water. He didn't seem tempted to dive in for a change, in fact he seemed laser-focused on his running and his breathing, as if he might not even know the moat was there.  
“Haru, stop for a minute.”  
“Are you okay?” He spun around to look, confusion filling his face. “We're over halfway.”  
“I'm fine” Rin assured him with a smile, “are you?”  
“Why wouldn't I be?”  
“You seem different.”  
Haru thought about it for a moment, and actually cracked a little smile.  
“Everyone told you I was different in Tokyo.”  
“So Tokyo-Haru is a super dedicated athlete who doesn't feel obligated to swim in every body of water he sees?”  
“Is that such a bad thing?”  
“No” Rin laughed, resisting the urge to hug him. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”  
“Come on, I want to get a little further before sunrise.”  
“Whatever you say, Sir.”  
The smile stayed on his face as he followed Haru along the path, exchanging nods with other runners as they passed. When Haru stopped Rin understood immediately, looking out at the sunlight dancing on the water. Haru had clearly run this path more than once before, he had gathered that much already, but he was starting to suspect it had been one of his favourite haunts.  
“I used to think about this” Haru said quietly, without looking away from the water. “You and me, I mean.”  
“Did you really?”  
“All the time. When I was here, when I was running or training or... Anything. I always thought about what it would be like if you were here too.”  
“Me too,” Rin confessed, shooting him a little smile. “Even grocery shopping. I thought about what you would choose if you were with me. I bought fish way too often for how much I actually like eating it.”  
“Turning around was the hard part.”  
“Remembering I wasn't actually there?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I get it,” Rin nodded slowly, “you can almost convince yourself for a moment, then you turn to say something and no one is standing there.”  
“And everything comes crashing down.”  
Rin's peaceful expression quickly dropped into a frown as he turned to stare at Haru, fighting for words that wouldn't come.  
“That bad?” he asked finally.  
“Some days.”  
Rin wound an arm around his shoulders, squeezing him lightly for a moment, and finally Haru softened a little.  
“We should get going,” Haru said quietly. “We still have a while left.”  
“Yeah, let's go.”  
They set off again, but the silence between them was less comfortable this time, less focused and concentrating, a little more depressing.  
“Haru?” Rin spoke between measured breaths as they got closer to the apartment, waiting for Haru to look his way before he smiled and continued. “From now on... If you turn around, I'll be there.”  
Haru's pace quickly slowed, and then stopped. As he turned around again Rin smiled faintly, waiting patiently for Haru to find the words he wanted.  
“You better be,” he said finally, “I've been waiting long enough.”  
He didn't wait for a reply before he began to run again, and Rin laughed as he struggled to catch up.  
“You're such a romantic,” he grinned, shaking his head fondly. “I was expecting something a little happier.”  
“I'm happy.”  
“Me too.”

Haru was strangely reluctant to leave, looking back longingly at Rin on the bed as he tied his shoes. For the fifth time he checked that his phone was in his pocket, so he could at least send him messages if he felt the need, and Rin gave him a knowing little smile.  
“Have fun with your friends, they must be missing you.”  
“Yeah,” Haru nodded, “I will.”  
“See you in a couple of hours.”  
“Yeah.”  
Rin slid off the bed as Haru started to stand up, planting a teasing little kiss on the corner of his mouth.  
“I'll miss you,” he grinned. “Take care.”  
“I'll be fine.”  
“Yeah, you will.”  
Rin was still smiling in the doorway when they let it swing closed, and Makoto seemed a little amused when he looked down at Haru's face.  
“You can't stand to leave him even for a moment, can you?”  
Haru shrugged, and Makoto touched his shoulder lightly in an attempt at comfort.  
“You know he'll still be there, right? When you get back, he'll be waiting.”  
“I know.”  
“You'll get sick of each other soon enough, if you don't take breaks.”  
“I won't” Haru said stubbornly, surprisingly emphatic.  
“I didn't mean it. I was just kidding.”  
“I... I really like him.”  
“I know you do. He likes you too.”  
“How do you know?”  
“It's pretty obvious, Haru,” Makoto laughed. “Do you not see it?”  
He didn't answer right away, his mind filled with swirling thoughts and words that didn't quite fit.  
“I imagine things a lot,” he answered finally. “I could just be seeing what I want to see.”  
“Then tell him. He'd be happy to hear it.”  
“How do you tell someone you like them?”  
“Exactly like that. 'I like you' is plenty.”  
“I guess I can try.”  
“But that's a problem for later. You can be apart for a couple of hours without wasting away, right?”  
“As long as he's still there later.”  
It wasn't until they were sitting on the train that Haru wondered if he should explain, if he should talk about all the things that had been going on in his head, although he suspected Makoto already knew far more than he let on.  
“I might have been depressed,” he spoke up finally, catching Makoto's eyes widen. “When I was here before. And that made me reluctant to come back.”  
“And now?”  
“I'm better now.”  
“Because of Rin?”  
“No,” he answered quickly, shaking his head. “But he helps.”  
“Because of what, then?”  
“I'm not so stressed. And I don't feel alone.” Haru froze, shaking his head quickly. “I know I wasn't alone before. Or... I know it was my fault. For pushing people away. Pushing you away. I guess I'm sorry for that.”  
“Don't be. I'm just glad you're doing better.”  
“It's a hard thing to think about. Talk about. Putting that label on it seems so final.”  
“What, depressed?”  
“Yeah.”  
“It doesn't really need a label, if you don't want to give it one.”  
“It explains things easier than without one.”  
“I guess that's true.”  
“But I imagine things a lot, like I said. That made me worse. Like I told you before, I had trouble working it out sometimes.”  
“You don't have to explain yourself, Haru. I've seen it, and I've heard the stories from everyone else too. I understand.”  
Haru frowned again as he thought about it, trying to find the words he ultimately wanted to say when he started the conversation.  
“It could happen again, and that... that scares me.”  
“I'll be firmer about stepping in when I see you start to go downhill next time.”  
“I need to find a job, and do well in training, and make qualifying times, and...”  
“And?”  
“And I need to do all of it without driving him away.”  
“You couldn't if you tried,” Makoto laughed, “he'll put up with anything if you're the one throwing it at him.”  
“You think so?”  
“Absolutely.”  
They fell silent again, listening to the hum of the train around them, and as they got closer to their stop Makoto sneaked another look at his face.  
“You think you're going to mess it up, don't you?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Just be you, okay? Don't try to change because you think he will like you better. He's liked you for a long time. Maybe forever. So as long as you're being yourself, he'll have nothing to complain about.”  
“I'm not the greatest person in the world.”  
“Maybe not, but he doesn't seem to mind.”  
Haru pulled out his phone to check for messages as they stepped off the train, looking twice at the empty inbox just to be sure, and after a moment Makoto plucked it from his hand.  
“Just keep looking at this, right?” He grinned as he handed it back, and Haru's face flooded red. “He must see something in you.”  
Haru wasn't even sure how Makoto knew the photos existed, let alone that he had one saved on his phone, but here it was staring him in the face. He had complained about the photos from the top of the Ferris wheel, and at first he hadn't liked them at all, but seeing Rin so pleased had led them to grow on him. And there was one in particular, one of the last in the set when the surprise had passed, which Haru had grown pretty fond of too. He was still surprised by his own face, by how soft he looked, but remembering the moment he understood why he looked that way.  
“He likes me,” Haru said softly.  
“He likes you.”  
He looked at the photo one more time before he closed it again, opening up the same empty inbox, but this time starting the message for himself.  
“I miss you already,” he typed out quickly. “I like you. A lot.”

Rin was packing his things away into his backpack when the young man spoke again, and he looked up expectantly.  
“A friend of mine has to write a paper in English,” he began, “and wants someone to read it and make sure it makes sense. Would you be interested?”  
“Sure, I'm happy to help. Get them to send me a message.”  
“I will. Thank you again for today. Can you make it again next week?”  
“I have to head back home for a few days, I'm not quite sure what time I'll be back.”  
“Okay, we can meet later or skip next week if you need, just let me know.”  
“Sounds good. See you later, then.”  
They parted ways and Rin slipped the envelope into the front pocket of his bag, grabbing his phone to check for messages before he moved on to the next meeting. He was surprised to see Haru's name on the screen, a little concerned that he hadn't noticed it go off, and quickly hit the button to check it as he wove through tables to leave the cafe.  
“I miss you already. I like you. A lot.”  
Rin felt his face burning as he read it, wondering for a moment if maybe one of Haru's friends had stolen his phone. He was utterly lost for words to reply with. Instead he hit the call button, holding the device to his ear and listening to it ring a few times.  
“Hello? Rin?”  
“I like you too” Rin said softly, smiling to himself. “I thought you should know.”  
There was a little pause, and he could hear mumbles in the background as Haru's friends started to ask questions. For a brief moment Rin wondered if he'd made a mistake, until he heard Makoto laughing.  
“He's speechless” Makoto announced in the background.  
“Me too,” Haru mumbled finally. “I wasn't... I wasn't expecting you to call.”  
“Sorry.”  
“No, don't be.”  
“So what does this mean?” Rin asked casually, “am I your boyfriend now?”  
“Were you not before?”  
“I don't think we ever talked about it.”  
“I'm sure you've said it before.”  
“Maybe. Teasing or joking or seeing how you'd react. Or just being hopeful.”  
“I'd like it if you were.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Then it's settled,” Rin smiled, “boyfriend it is.”  
“How do I explain this to my parents?”  
“That's still a few days away. More importantly, how are you going to explain it to your friends?”  
“That's a really good question.”  
“I'll let you get back to it. Enjoy your lunch, I'll see you later.”  
“Wait, Rin.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Thank you.”  
“You're an idiot” Rin laughed, “don't thank me.”  
“I mean it though.”  
“Okay, well, thank you too.”  
“See you later.”  
“Can't wait.”  
Rin shook his head fondly as he hung up, putting his phone back in his bag as he boarded his train, but not before smiling once more at the photo on his home screen. Haru would kill him when he eventually saw it, but for now he would make the most of it.

Haru was in the shower when he heard the front door open, but he quickly shut the water off and grabbed a towel. Rin laughed when he walked out still soaking wet, with just a towel around his waist, but seeing the way it lit up his face made Haru not mind being laughed at.  
“Miss me?” he asked, holding out his arms. “Do I get a hug, boyfriend?”  
Despite the teasing in it, Haru couldn't turn down the invitation. He wound his arms lightly around Rin's waist and was squeezed half to death in return, pulling a face.  
“Can't breathe,” he insisted after a moment. “Let me go.”  
Rin loosened his grip a tiny bit but still held firmly, refused to concede when Haru started to take a step back.  
“Do you really want me to let go?”  
“Not really,” Haru mumbled, leaning into him. “Just need air.”  
“Boyfriend, huh?” Makoto grinned, leaning against the kitchen counter to watch them for a moment. “Is this official now?”  
“Yes, but not public.” Haru answered with no hesitation, and Rin was a little surprised to hear it. “Maybe don't use the term in front of people who don't know I'm gay.”  
“That was really blatant,” Rin took half a step back so he could see Haru's face, considering him carefully. “Am I not the first person you told you liked guys?”  
“No, of course not. I wasn't the first person you told either, why are you offended?”  
“I'm not offended, just surprised. Who did you talk to about this before?”  
“I told you, I'm not the only gay guy in Tokyo.”  
Rin looked to Makoto for clarification this time, but got just as much confusion as he already felt.  
“Care to elaborate?” he asked, keeping his hands on Haru's shoulders. “Who have you been talking to?”  
“I went to a gay bar once.”  
Haru seemed entirely innocent and serious about the words, and all Rin could do was stare at him blankly.  
“I thought maybe it would make me feel more alive.”  
“Did it?”  
“No, but I did find out about that hotel we went to.”  
Rin flooded red when Makoto raised an eyebrow at them, but Haru didn't seem at all flustered by the topic.  
“Am I not supposed to say that?”  
“Not in front of other people!”  
“I tell Makoto everything, it doesn't count.”  
“Please just close your mouth, Haru.” Rin turned away finally, cursing his shaky hands and burning face. “Don't talk about this.”  
“You wanted me to talk.”  
“I changed my mind.”  
“Okay.” He tentatively reached out to touch Rin's back. “I won't, sorry.”  
“No, don't apologise, I just... I can't talk about it nearly as bluntly as you, I didn't expect you to be better.”  
“I'll wait until you're ready.”  
“It's not that I'm not ready, I just...”  
He trailed off, turning around again only to find an amused little smirk playing on Haru's lips.  
“What?”  
“I'm normally the one who can't talk properly, not you.”  
“You talk fine” Rin laughed, hugging him again briefly. “Sorry, I know I got weird for a minute there.”  
“I don't mind. You don't have to be perfect all the time.”  
“Thank you.”  
There was still amusement in Haru's eyes, and for a moment Rin just stared into them, trying to figure out just where it was coming from.  
“Just say it” he sighed finally, managing a tiny smile. “Go on.”  
“If you want to use boyfriend, you should probably get used to gay.”  
“Maybe I just won't use either.”  
“Suit yourself,” Haru shrugged. “There are plenty of other gay guys in Tokyo.”  
“Don't be like that.”  
“Be like what?”  
“Don't threaten to find someone else just because I can't say the word.”  
“Threaten-? What? I just meant that we're not the only ones, it's not that weird.”  
Makoto finally gave up on cooking, rolling his eyes at the pair as he passed.  
“I'm gonna take a shower, sort this mess out before I get back.”  
Together they sat down on the edge of the bed, and Rin took Haru's hand, squeezing it firmly.  
“We really need to get better at communicating.”  
“Yeah.” Haru nodded, “you don't want me to say things like gay and boyfriend?”  
“You can say whatever you want about yourself, but I'd prefer it if you didn't out me in public just yet. Let me do it myself, okay?”  
“I wouldn't dream of it.”  
“Then say whatever you want, I'll get used to it.”  
“Okay.”  
Haru's fingertips pressed lightly at Rin's skin in return, and Rin smiled softly.  
“I like you a lot” Haru said quietly, staring at their intertwined fingers. “I meant it when I said it before.”  
“I know. I like you too. I'm really glad we're here together.”  
“I'm nervous about going back home.”  
“I know you are. It's okay. I'll be with you the whole time.”  
“Thank you.”  
By the time Rin turned his head Haru had already made the decision, throwing his free hand around Rin's neck and pulling their lips together with a rough desperation.  
“It's been too long” he mumbled, when they parted for a moment. “I need to kiss you more.”  
“Whenever you want.”  
“Stop talking, then.”  
“Whatever you say, Sir.”  
Haru pulled Rin into his lap for more eager kisses, biting at his lower lip probably a little too hard, holding him like the world might try to rip them apart at any moment. Rin could feel an uncomfortable tightness in his pants, but he also felt a bulge in Haru's lap beneath him that reassured him he wasn't overreacting. He moaned when Haru bit at his neck, remembering for the shortest of moments the day when Haru first learned how it felt and immediately decided biting was his thing. He had run away with it since, and now Rin was the one who became a mess when the teeth came out, the one who couldn't care less what his teammates would say about the bruises. It was worth it.  
“Oh God, Haru.”  
Haru's hand was slipping down the front of Rin's pants now, teasing him relentlessly. Both of them knew it was the furthest they could go. Maybe a little too far, even. It was torture, and Rin found himself practically grinding on Haru's lap and hand, a little ashamed of himself for it but unable to stop. It wasn't until they heard the shower turn off that Haru backed off, giving Rin a moment to catch his breath and finger the bruises on his neck before Makoto returned.  
“Did you talk it out?” he asked, blissfully unaware. “Okay now?”  
“Yeah, we're good,” Haru assured him, managing a smile when he glimpsed Rin's wide-eyed, tortured look. “Thanks for caring.”  
“Of course.”  
When Makoto turned away Haru grabbed Rin's ass one last time, giving it a good, solid squeeze, and only smirking when Rin squirmed.


	17. Chapter 17

Rin's legs were jelly. The morning had destroyed him, and he was actually starting to feel a little grateful that he would have a couple of days to take it easy back in Iwatobi. He'd been told to finish off with a last two hundred at a slower pace, and if not for Haru in the next lane he probably would have cheated and called it early. Whether he was still out of practice from his break between Australia and Japan, his trainings here were significantly harder, or he was just past it and on the way to retirement he couldn't be entirely sure.   
When he finished his set he took a moment to lean against the wall of the pool, breathing hard as he attempted to summon the strength to climb out. He didn't really want to lower himself to ducking under the lane ropes and making his way to the ladder, but he was starting to suspect he might have to.   
“You okay?” Haru asked, as he pulled his goggles off and cast them aside. “All done?”  
“Yeah, I'm finished. Are you?”  
“A while ago, I was just doing a few extras while I waited.”  
“You're insane.”  
He gave Rin a quizzical look, but Rin didn't bother to elaborate, just shook his head and brushed it off.  
“I have to stick around for that meeting,” Haru continued, “so you can leave without me if you want.”  
“Don't be silly,” Rin scoffed, “I'll wait and see how it goes. I'm sure you'll be fantastic.”  
“We'll see.”  
Haru hauled himself out of the water and stopped to consider Rin for a moment, tilting his head to one side slightly as he studied him.  
“Are you tired?”  
“Yeah,” Rin admitted. “My legs.”  
“Here”  
He held a hand out to Rin to help him over the side, and Rin hesitated.  
“You underestimate how tired my legs are.”  
“It's fine, come on.”  
He accepted Haru's hand obediently, his eyes widening when Haru hauled him up, his feet scrambling for a moment before they found solid ground.  
“How do you do it?” Rin asked with a sigh.  
“Do what?”  
“Keep up.”  
“I like swimming.”  
“So do I, but that doesn't stop me being exhausted and sore.”  
“I get sore too, it just doesn't matter.”  
“It doesn't matter? What, you just do it anyway?”  
“Yeah.”  
Rin cracked a smile finally, amusement passing through him at the attitude that was so typically Haru.  
“I have a lot to learn from you,” he grinned, leaning an elbow on Haru's shoulder. “You need to share your secrets.”  
“I don't have any secrets.”  
“Maybe not intentional ones.”  
“You can ask me questions. I'll answer them.”  
“Thank you. I'll think about it and come up with something.”  
He followed Haru through to the showers, sneaking glances at him every time his back was turned and only getting caught once. Haru didn't bother to protest or complain though, just sighed and turned away again to finish cleaning up. He would never show it, but there were nerves swirling in the pit of his stomach at the thought of the meeting, unsure if he even wanted to do it, let alone if he was what they were looking for. But it was like Rin had said, it couldn't hurt to meet with them and talk about it.  
Rin leaned over to straighten Haru's tie, tempted to kiss him while no one was looking, but not quite bold enough with other people around them in the changing room.  
“You're gonna be great,” he said firmly.   
“Thank you.”  
“Now say it with a little enthusiasm.”  
Haru looked at him blankly and Rin chuckled to himself, shaking his head.  
“Forget it. Just be you, okay? Either it works out or it doesn't.”  
“They should have asked for you.”  
“I'm not guaranteed a medal, you pretty much are.”  
“I'm not.”  
“Haru, come on, there's no way you're gonna come fourth.”  
“I might.”  
“You won't.”  
“And if I do?”  
“Then either you injured yourself and we need to take you to a hospital, or they had some kind of super-humans in the pool with you.”  
“It could happen though.”  
Rin leaned over and hugged him tightly, savouring the feel of Haru in his arms, however brief it might be.  
“Haru, you're gonna be amazing, okay? Trust yourself.”  
“I'll try.”

Rin was still hovering outside the office when his phone began to ring, and he quickly ducked outside to answer it. The voice was unfamiliar, but he caught on quickly and a big grin stretched across his lips.  
“If you can come in to set up the payments, the apartment will be yours.”  
“Of course. When can I come in? Today?”  
“If that would suit you, yes. What time would you like to come?”  
He glanced through the main doors at the clock in the lobby, contemplating.  
“I can be there in an hour?”  
“I look forward to seeing you.”  
He practically jumped for joy as soon as he hung up the phone, beaming to himself as he returned to grab his bag and slung it over his shoulder.  
“Excuse me,” he smiled warmly at the receptionist, realising he still hadn't learned her name and resolving to remedy it. “Could you give Nanase a message for me when he finishes?”  
“Of course.”  
“I got a call from the company I'm about to rent an apartment through, I need to go sign some papers. Could you ask him to call me when he's free?”  
“Gladly. Congratulations on the apartment.”  
“Thank you! I'd better go. Thank you again, I'll see you tonight.”  
He almost ran to the station to find the first train, twitching with anticipation as he stood on the platform to wait.  
The office was inconveniently placed, the opposite direction of the apartment itself, but he anticipated meeting to get the key would take place another day anyway, after his payment had cleared. He would have to let them know they'd be out of town for a bit, but maybe Makoto would be willing to pick it up for them, so they would have it there waiting when they got back home.  
Home.  
Where even was home? Were they going home tomorrow when they left to visit friends and family? Or were they coming home when they returned to Tokyo in a week's time? He threw the word around so casually sometimes, talking about Japan as a whole, or Iwatobi, or even Sydney on occasion, but for the first time now he was actually stopping to think about what it implied, what power the word really held.  
The bright little jingle played over the loudspeakers and Rin forced himself back to Earth, watching the train roll in and deliberately slowing his steps, waiting nicely for his turn to board rather than let excitement overwhelm him.  
That was another thing that had been hard to readjust to. As a child he had certainly been more open with his mannerisms than many of his peers, but in Australia that had been normal. Coming back here and trying to be a normal Japanese adult felt strangely foreign, even though he knew it should be more natural to him.   
Home is with Haru.  
The thought crossed his mind as he sunk into a seat, and it made him smile a little. The country, the city, they didn't matter. People mattered. Family mattered.  
Growing up that was his mother, his grandmother, his sister. At times it had been Lori and Russell, his Australian family. Now it was Haru. His partner, his love. He was starting his own family now, with the man he loved, and nothing said 'home' more than that.

Haru was surprised to find the lobby empty when he emerged, searching for the familiar face or the shock of red hair, but finding nothing. He checked the changing room, the pool, even the gym, before he conceded defeat and returned to the changing room once more to get his bag.  
Rin's bag was gone.  
He pulled it over his shoulder and wandered out to the reception as he considered his next move, surprised to hear the receptionist call his name.  
“Matsuoka-san left to make payments on his new apartment lease, he asked me to let you know and to ask you to call him when you have the chance.”  
“Oh. That explains a lot. I'll go phone him, thank you.”  
“Have a good afternoon.”  
“Mm, you too.”  
He pulled his shoes on at the door and stepped out into the cool breeze, zipping his hoodie up to keep the warmth in.   
“Rin?” he asked, when the ringing stopped. “I'm done.”  
“Oh, sorry Haru, I won't be much longer. I'm just about to get the train.”  
“Is everything okay? You went to the apartment?”  
“The company, to set up payments. It's all done, when the money clears it's ours.”  
“Really?”  
“Really. Pretty neat, right?”  
“Strange. But good strange.”  
“Yeah,” Rin laughed, “where should I meet you? Makoto's?”  
“Ah... Yeah, maybe. I'm hungry.”  
“Okay, let's meet there then sort lunch. Sound okay?”  
“Sounds good. See you soon.”  
He hung up and slotted his phone away as he made for the station, taking a moment to watch a train leave in the other direction that he knew would soon be his line. It hadn't fully set in yet, the reality of it all, but there was a little bit of excitement deep down inside of him. 

“There you are!” Rin threw his arms around Haru immediately, squeezing him hard. “Sorry I had to run off, they said I could come in straight away and I didn't want to wait a whole week”  
“It's fine. I'm glad you did.”  
“It's almost over. It's almost ours.” He grinned, and Haru softened a little at the sight. “Our new home.”  
“Home,” Haru said softly, testing the word. “Yeah, I guess it is.”  
“My home is with you,” Rin told him, with an almost painful sincerity in the words. “I was thinking about it a lot. I'm just so happy to have you.”  
Haru's hand laced into long hair, pulling him in close to kiss him, softly at first but quickly growing in intensity as they both grew more eager.   
“Rin” he breathed softly, when they parted for a moment. “You're amazing.”  
“Stop talking,” Rin muttered, his cheeks burning. “Kiss me.”  
“We were always meant to be together. I'm glad it finally happened.”  
“Me too. Now seriously, kiss me.”  
With a little smirk Haru obeyed, his teeth grazing at Rin's lip as they clung to each other like their lives depended on it. When they parted they were both breathing hard, and another little smirk crossed Haru's swollen lips.  
“What?” Rin asked knowingly.  
“You're breathing harder than you were at practice.”  
“Shut up,” Rin laughed, wrapping his arms around Haru's waist again and holding him close. “You make it hard to function sometimes.”  
“Trying my best.”  
He laughed, then froze suddenly, getting a confused look from Haru.  
“I didn't ask, did I?”  
“Ask what?”  
“How did your meeting go? What did they say? Were they nice?”  
“Oh. Yeah, it was good, they were good.”  
“Come on, a little more detail.”  
“Ah... They want me to do it.”  
“Really? That's fantastic!”  
“I asked what would happen if I didn't medal. They said that was okay, as long as the coaches thought I had the best chance. Nothing will change if I don't.”  
“That's perfect Haru, I'm so happy for you.”  
“I just have to wear their logo and maybe go to some events with their company.”  
“You have no idea how happy I am for you.”  
“Thank you. And um...” he trailed off, looking away. “The coach said I can get a grant from the national body. To help support me swimming, I guess. Because I'm already on the National team. I guess you have to wait a little longer to get yours.”  
“Do you think I'm going to be upset? You look worried.”  
“I feel bad telling you that I can get it and you can't.”  
“I've been in another country, of course I can't. The fact that they support you that much makes me super happy, Haru, don't worry about me.”  
“You're okay?”  
“I'm far better than okay. You have a proper income as a professional swimmer, I have a minor income to at least help out, and a gorgeous boyfriend to pay my rent when it isn't enough, and we're getting an apartment together. What could possibly make me happier?”  
“Mackerel?”  
“I said make me happier, not make you happier.” He laughed, squeezing Haru's hands firmly. “But point taken, let's go find food. Just let me swap my gear out."  
“Okay. And Rin?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I'm really happy too.”

Haru stopped to exchange farewells with his teammates on their way out, promising once more to his coach that he would practice plenty on his own time. He didn't really need to reassure him, none of them believed that Haru would go a week without swimming, but Rin supposed it made Haru feel a little better about leaving, like it was more secure that he was coming back if he made the promises.  
“We'll be back soon enough,” Rin reminded him, as he said his own goodbyes to his new friends. “With the makings of an income and an apartment to ourselves.”  
“Yeah,” Haru nodded, “I know.”  
He was quiet the whole trip back to Makoto's, but Rin didn't push him, just sat down on the edge of the bed and watched Haru pack his things away into his suitcase.  
“What time is the flight?” he asked for what must be the fifth time.  
“Around nine thirty”  
“So what time do we need to be there?”  
“Before nine would be best. Eight thirty if you're worried.”  
“How long will it take us to get to the airport?”  
“Forty-five minutes, maybe an hour if you walk slow”  
“So we should leave about seven thirty?”  
Rin smiled slightly, leaning over to kiss Haru's cheek as he busied himself in his suitcase.  
“Yeah, we can do that.”  
“Okay. Just in case, I mean.”  
“Yeah, just in case. I don't mind hanging out in the airport for a little while if we're early.”  
“Okay.”  
He reached for Rin's hand when he started to move away, and Rin grinned when Haru gave him a pitiful look.  
“What, cheek wasn't good enough?”  
“Makoto will be home soon.”  
“Then you'd better kiss me quick, right?”  
Even Haru managed a tiny smile in response, leaning in to find Rin's lips, a lot softer this time than they had been earlier, more loving than desperate.   
“Thank you”  
“For what?” Rin asked, genuinely confused. “What did I do?”  
“Everything.”  
“Everything?”  
Haru shrugged it off, and Rin sat down again to watch him, to try and decipher the way he moved, the look on his face, the little glances he shot Rin's way.  
“For taking care of you? When you worry?”  
“Yeah.”  
“You know I'll always do that.”  
“I know. But thank you.”  
Rin grabbed him tight around the waist, pulling him away from his things and onto the bed, grinning as he hugged him close.  
“You're the cutest thing in the world, Haru,” he announced with no reservation. “You never fail to amaze me with the adorable things you say.”  
“I didn't say anything.”  
“You know what I mean. Come on, let's cuddle. Properly.”  
“Makoto will be home soon.”  
“Relax, we'll keep our pants on.”  
Haru pulled a face like he wasn't entirely pleased by the prospect, but he settled in obediently at Rin's side. Rin held him tight enough for both of them, and before long Haru softened into Rin's arms a little.  
“Rin?”  
“Yeah?”  
“You know I'm happy too, right? With you?”  
“Yeah,” Rin smiled down at him warmly, “but I still like hearing it.”  
“I like you. I like being your boyfriend. I like us.”  
“Me too” Rin ducked his face into Haru's hair to hide his watery eyes. “I like us too.”


	18. Chapter 18

Haru was growing frantic as Rin threw the last of his things into his backpack, his phone reading seven thirty-one when he shoved it in his pocket.  
“Right, let's go” he grinned, kicking his shoes on at the door. “Ready?”  
“I have been for ages” Haru mumbled, “I was just waiting for you.”  
“Sorry. You said you wanted to leave at seven thirty, right? That's now.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Sorry,” Rin repeated, leaning over to kiss his cheek lightly. “I would have been ready earlier if I'd known you wanted to leave earlier.”  
“Can we just go?”  
“Yes, we can. Bye Makoto, see you in about a week. Enjoy the peace and quiet.”  
“It's been fun having you.” He laughed, but the words were genuine. “I'll see you soon.”  
“Looking forward to it. Come on, Haru.”  
Most of their gear was packed away in Haru's suitcase, left in Makoto's closet for their return, so Rin's backpack was all they needed to carry. He wondered, though, if maybe he should have made Haru carry it, to give him something to hold on to. His hands were twitchy, unsure what to do with themselves, and Rin had to fight the urge to grab one.  
“The train will be here in three minutes,” Haru said softly, as they stepped out onto the platform. “That was close.”  
“Nah,” Rin laughed, clapping him on the shoulder playfully. “We could have run here if we'd needed to. We had heaps of time.”  
“I don't want to miss the plane.”  
“We won't, not a chance.”  
“What if we do?”  
“We won't.”  
“But _if_.”  
“Then we book on a later flight, or worst case we go back to Makoto's place and sort flights for another day.”  
“That's a waste of money.”  
“Then it's a good thing we're not gonna miss the flight.”  
There was one seat left in their train car when they climbed aboard, so Rin nudged Haru into it and dropped the backpack in his lap, smiling at the flash of shock that crossed Haru's face. He hovered beside the seats and leaned against the wall for balance rather than hold on, his arm resting on the back of Haru's seat, just millimetres from his shoulder. He hoped maybe staying close would help to calm Haru's nerves, but if he was entirely honest with himself, he had no idea what to do when Haru got like this. For the majority of his life Haru had been so uncaring, so laid back, that seeing him nervous was still a thing of wonder. As long as those blue eyes stayed clear and bright he would be satisfied though, as long as they didn't glass over and stare blankly into the distance.  
“So when we get there,” he began quietly, brushing his fingers against Haru's arm for a moment just to be sure he was listening. “My mother is going to pick us up from the airport and take us back to her place.”  
“Okay.”  
“Then we can hang out or go swim or whatever, I don't have plans beyond that.”  
“You should spend some time with your family.”  
“I should, but we're there for a week, so it doesn't have to be right away.”  
“I guess so.”  
Rin paused, contemplating, wishing he could see Haru's face from his position.  
“Do your parents know about us yet?”  
“No, I don't think so. I should tell them.”  
“It might be a good idea. I'll come with you if you're nervous.”  
“Why would I be nervous?”  
“Well... You know what some people are like.”  
“They're my parents.”  
“I know. I'm sure they won't mind.”  
“It doesn't matter if they do.”  
“We'll cross that bridge if we come to it.”  
It wasn't long before the speaker in the carriage announced their stop, and Rin gave Haru a little smile as he stood up.  
“Part one down, only two more to go.”

The airport was a hub of activity even in the early hours, all sorts of stores and restaurants opening their doors to passengers both arriving and departing, as well as a number of people Rin thought were probably not passengers at all. People who worked in the area grabbing their breakfast, a few tourists checking out the sights, and then Rin and Haru making their way slowly to their gate. They still had a good hour before they would be boarding, but Rin suspected Haru would be a lot less awkward if they just waited for the plane, rather than walk around and explore. Besides, he wasn't going to complain about an hour of Haru's undivided and undistracted attention.  
He halted Haru briefly as they passed a vending machine, stopping to grab a drink for each of them, then they found a spot away in a corner to sit and wait. They had a clear view of where they would need to be in an hour, and they were near enough to hear every announcement that was made. Rin hoped that would be enough.  
“I'm tired,” Haru mumbled, when they were settled in.  
“Didn't sleep well last night?”  
“Not really.”  
“Nightmares or just couldn't get to sleep?”  
“A bit of both.”  
“I'm sorry, I didn't realise. You should have woken me up.”  
He shrugged, not quite meeting Rin's eyes, and Rin simply waited.  
“One of us should be well-rested,” he said finally. “In case anything goes wrong.”  
“Nothing will go wrong. What could possibly go wrong? We can't get lost anymore, and we can't miss the flight, if anything changes we're right here to see it happen.”  
“What if... They cancel the flight?”  
“Then they're obligated to put us on another one.”  
“What if I lose our bag?”  
“We buy new toothbrushes.”  
“What if the plane crashes?”  
“On a flight this short?” Rin scoffed, “like that's gonna happen. Whatever comes our way, I'll protect you. I promise.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Do you want to sleep a little while we wait?”  
“I don't think I could.”  
“Alright. It's okay if you start to drift off, I'll wake you when it's time.”  
“What if you fall asleep too?”  
“I'm not tired, so I don't know how I would. But if I did, at least one of us would wake up when they called our names over the loudspeaker.”  
“Do they do that? If we don't show up?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay then.”  
“I'm telling you,” Rin grinned, reaching out to play with Haru's hair for a moment. “There is nothing that could possibly go wrong, okay?”  
“Okay.”  
“You trust me, don't you?”  
“I do.”  
“More than anyone else?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Then we're good. Have faith in me.”  
“Okay. Thanks.”  
“Any time.”

Within minutes of taking off Haru was out like a light, his head falling onto Rin's shoulder to rest, his face surprisingly peaceful. Rin did his best not to move and accidentally disturb him, leaning back in his chair to stare aimlessly out the window. He debated what to do to entertain himself, whether he should read or play a game or try to sleep, but part of him kind of liked the idea of just sitting there with his headphones in and Haru leaning on his shoulder, just savouring the short time they had to sit together peacefully.  
It wasn't a long flight, though, and soon enough Rin had to psych himself up to wake Haru. He tried his best to be gentle about it, but still Haru looked betrayed when he sat up, rubbing at his eyes, and Rin felt like the worst boyfriend in the world.  
“Sorry,” he said softly, “we're about to land.”  
“Already?”  
“Uh-huh.”  
The announcement over the loudspeaker began, and Haru cringed a little at the volume of it.  
“Thanks,” he said, when it was over. “I don't think I would have wanted to wake up to that.”  
He leaned over to look out the window as the plane started to descend, and Rin did his best to ignore how close Haru had come. As soon as they got close to the ground Rin tensed up, bracing himself, and Haru noticed it immediately. He shuffled over in his seat to sit a little closer, pressing his thigh against Rin's, and gave him a look with a surprising amount of concern in it.  
“What's wrong?”  
“I'm fine,” Rin shook his head, “just not a fan of landings.”  
“It'll be over in a minute.”  
“Yeah.”  
He stayed in close, keeping just barely enough distance between them that it wouldn't look suspicious at first glance, but close enough that Rin actually felt some form of comfort from it. A dozen times a day he found himself wishing they didn't need to be so secretive, and this was no exception. More than anything he wanted to hold Haru's hand, to lean into him, to let his guard down even just a little.  
Sure enough, though, the landing was over quickly and smoothly. In typical Japanese fashion that Rin was still a little baffled by, everyone filed off the plane in a strangely orderly manner. He had become so used to grabbing his bag and trying to escape before the queues piled up, or to resigning himself to hang out in his seat for an extra half hour because the people on the aisle were too slow. This was good though, this was something Japan did far better than Australia.  
He was doing his best to notice more of those things.

Haru had been nervous at first, being in Rin's childhood home with his mother and sister – although he wasn't really sure how Gou made him nervous, they'd spent plenty of time together in their lives. They were more welcoming and accepting than he ever could have imagined, though, and didn't even seem to notice the fact that he and Rin were both men. They treated him the same way he thought they would treat a girlfriend, like it didn't even matter, and already Haru felt guilt at the idea of explaining to his own parents, without knowing how they would treat Rin in return.  
“Still tired?” Rin asked, when he caught Haru stifling a yawn. “Do you want to sleep for a bit?”  
“I'll be okay.”  
Rin saw Gou crack a smile, so used to Haru's ways, and it made him smile a little too.  
“Come on,” he stood up and offered Haru a hand, “I need to start packing my junk anyway.”  
Haru hesitated and Rin knew it, but the moment of debate in his mind was short lived. He accepted nervously, but no one said a word, and quickly he softened a little.  
“Call me if you need anything,” Rin reminded his family, as he headed for the bedroom. “Here to help.”  
“We've gotten this far on our own, I'm sure we can manage a few more hours.”  
Haru became nervous again when Rin opened the door to his old bedroom, hanging back even though Rin still had a grip on his hand. Rin looked back, confused, when Haru's arm tugged at his, and considered him for a moment.  
“Are you waiting for me to invite you in?”  
“I don't know.”  
“Come here,” he chuckled, holding out his arms. “You don't need to be embarrassed.”  
“I'm not.”  
“What's wrong, then?”  
“I feel like it's weird for me to be in your bedroom.”  
“Was it weird for me to be in yours?”  
“No.”  
“Then this isn't weird either. Come on, lie down.”  
He nudged Haru toward the bed lightly, watching him fall to the mattress without a lot of grace, and grinned when Haru looked up at him with wide eyes.  
“What?” he asked knowingly. “Something wrong?”  
“Nothing is wrong.”  
“Nothing at all?”  
Haru shook his head slowly, and Rin smiled as he crouched down to kiss him lightly, amused by the way Haru still flooded red in response.  
“You act like we've never kissed before,” Rin chuckled, running a hand through Haru's soft hair. “We never stop, you should be used to it.”  
“It's different.”  
“Different how?”  
“Making out is different.”  
“Oh, okay. You're not used to the affection without the passion?”  
“I guess not.”  
“I'll try to do better.”  
“That's not what I meant.”  
“Lie down.”  
Haru paused for a moment but obeyed, and Rin joined him, holding him firmly to his chest. Haru's cheeks were still a little pink when he looked up questioningly at Rin's smile, and Rin planted another little kiss on the top of his head.  
“Close your eyes.”  
For a moment Rin thought he was going to argue, but sure enough the bright blue eyes slowly sank closed, and he nuzzled in a little closer to Rin's body.  
“No biting, no groping, no teasing,” Rin promised, “just this. Okay?”  
“Okay.”  
“Get some sleep, you must be exhausted by now.”  
“You're gonna stay?”  
“Nothing could tear me away from you.”  
“Okay.”  
A contented little sigh came from Haru's lips, and Rin bent his head to rest against Haru's, closing his own eyes as they curled up close.

Haru woke up to Rin and Gou arguing in the next room, their words not quite discernible. He groaned, rubbing at his eyes, and sat up to listen for a moment. He was a little disappointed to wake up without Rin beside him, but he could tell something had happened that required his attention more than sleeping-Haru did. After a minute he laboured to his feet, poking his head out the door to try and decipher the madness.  
“I'm not going to _show_ anyone,” Gou insisted, “why does it matter?”  
“Because that's so weird! And creepy! Do you have any idea what a mess it would make of our careers if it somehow got out?”  
“But it won't.”  
“You don't know that!”  
They froze when Haru looked in at them, Rin giving him an apologetic look immediately, but Gou was still stuck in stubborn mode.  
“What happened?” Haru asked finally, after an awkward silence. “What did you do?”  
“I took one little photo and Onii-chan went insane.”  
“A photo of what?”  
Rin gave him a pointed look, and Haru was genuinely surprised.  
“Of us?”  
“Yeah,” Rin scowled, “while we were sleeping.”  
“That's a little creepy,” Haru agreed. “Can I see at least?”  
Gou turned her phone toward him and Haru couldn't resist a smile, seeing the two of them curled up so comfortably, but Rin's words were starting to make a lot of sense. With his smile still intact he reached out to turn the screen slightly, to look closer, then slipped it out of her hand and hit the delete button.  
“Thanks,” he said flatly, tossing the phone onto Gou's bed. “Let's not do that.”  
Gou looked betrayed, but Rin was beaming at his boyfriend, weirdly proud of the dumb little act he pulled.  
“I know he's cute,” Haru began, gesturing toward Rin vaguely, “but he's right, that's weird.”  
“Fine,” she pouted. “Next time close your door then.”  
“I will.”

The house was dark when Haru got back, not a sound nor a sign of anyone being around, but he wasn't really surprised by that anymore. It was still the house he grew up in, still the house he'd called home for his whole life, but suddenly it felt cold. Empty. Lonely.  
He dug out his phone and put it to his ear immediately, sitting down in the entryway as it rang, and before long he softened to the sound of Rin's voice on the other end.  
“Everything okay, Haru?”  
“I don't want to be here.”  
“More specific, please.”  
“This house.”  
“Do you want to stay at Mom's place tonight?”  
“Can we?”  
“Yeah, she'd be super happy.”  
“Yes please.”  
“Okay. I'll come get you. I'll be twenty minutes, sorry.”  
“It's okay.” He looked back at the dark hallway again and paused. “I'm going to visit Makoto's family, come meet me there.”  
“Okay. See you soon, Haru. Take care.”  
Haru evacuated again quickly when Rin hung up, making his way down to Makoto's old home. He felt a little weird showing up with Makoto out of town, but the moment the door opened and the twins threw themselves at him he knew it was okay.  
“Haru, you came to visit!”  
“Yeah,” he said with a smile, “I just got back from Tokyo today.”  
“Is Onii-chan okay?”  
“He's doing really well. He misses you a lot.”  
“I miss him too.”  
Within moments he was being invited for dinner, ushered in to sit at the table as they dished out food, with Ren on one side and Ran on the other, and despite his bout of awkwardness he couldn't stop smiling. 

It took a little while for Haru to say goodbye, between ushering the kids to bed and assuring the adults that he was okay, that they were all okay, but when they walked out into the street Rin thought he seemed surprisingly happy.  
“Is there something you want to talk about?” he asked gently.  
“Maybe.”  
“Maybe?”  
“I don't know what to say.”  
“Okay. Well, when you work it out, I'm here to listen.”  
“I know.”  
It was dark out and the streets were quiet, everyone home with their families by now, other than the few having drinks at the other end of town. It took a little while to build up the courage, but finally Rin reached for Haru's hand, linking their cold fingers together. Haru seemed confused, concerned, but Rin only gave him a little smile as he used the free hand to pull his hood a little lower over his face.  
“No one can tell,” he smiled wryly, “with all these layers and everything.”  
Haru blushed, but didn't argue, and after a moment he pulled his own hood up to cover his face. There was something exciting about being affectionate in public, and it made his heart race both with fear and with happiness. Rin didn't seem at all put out, as if he did this every day, but when Haru narrowed his eyes and studied him a little closer, he became pretty sure it was all an act.  
Somehow they made it back to Rin's mother's house without incident, without running into anyone in the streets, and Haru paused in the doorway.  
“Are you sure it's okay?”  
“She's super happy to have us, relax.”  
Sure enough, he was welcomed like a part of the family, just as he had been at Makoto's house. He was starting to wonder if this was why Rin had so much trouble defining “home”, the strange debate he'd confessed to having with himself, the debate Haru hadn't understood at all. But Rin had lots of homes, with lots of families, and Haru had only ever had one.  
And now he wasn't even sure it was really a home.  
He realised he was shaking when Rin squeezed his hand briefly, giving him a concerned look, and it took him a moment to find words.  
“Thank you for looking after me,” he said softly, “you always have.”  
“And I always will,” Rin assured him, squeezing him again lightly. “I promise.”


	19. Chapter 19

Haru woke up in Rin's arms, like he always did, but took a moment to recognise the bed. He was just as warm as ever, just as cozy and comfortable, but had a sense of impending fear over using the bath, making breakfast, existing in the same place as people who he didn't really know that well.  
Rin's eyes began to flutter open, to meet his, and he immediately began to smile.  
“Morning, Haru,” he yawned, snuggling in a little closer. “You sleep okay?”  
“Yeah, it was fine.”  
“I'm glad. Long day today.”  
“Is it?”  
“The schools have their first practice for the trimester, I thought we should go visit the old friends and see how they're doing.”  
“You just want to show off to your old team.”  
“Maybe that too.”  
“Fine,” Haru sighed, sitting up and letting Rin's arms fall away from him. “I should get dressed, then.”  
“Do you know where to find everything?”  
“Not really.”  
“Hold on, then.”  
He rifled through his drawers to find clothing, tossing some of his own clean stuff at Haru without questioning it, then motioned for him to follow. The bath was bigger than the one at his parents' house, and he couldn't help but entertain a couple of thoughts while Rin grabbed him a towel.  
“Stay,” he blurted out, when Rin started to excuse himself. “We can...”  
He hesitated, glancing toward the bathtub, and Rin burned red in the face.  
“Are you suggesting we take a bath together?”  
“Would that be so weird?”  
“We've never... I mean, you've never, at least...”  
“What?”  
“We've never been totally naked together,” he stumbled out. “I mean, I saw you that once when you were drunk, but...”  
“Aren't you wearing your swimsuit?”  
Rin froze, and after a moment Haru cracked a smile.  
“I'm kidding. It's fine.”  
“But I'm not...”  
“Do you really think I care what you look like?”  
Rin paused, then shook his head.  
“No, I guess you wouldn't.”  
He started the water running, then paused again before he turned the temperature up for Rin's sake. Rin watched in awe as he started to pull his clothes off, dumbfounded, barely even noticing when Haru reached out to start stripping Rin, too. A little sigh escaped him when Haru's hands caressed his back, coercing him onto the little plastic stool by the shower head, and he finally let himself relax as Haru's soapy hands ran across his skin.  
The tub was a pretty tight fit for the both of them, but they'd known that would be the case going in, and once they'd navigated their way in it was actually kind of nice. Intimate.  
“I'm just waiting for Gou to show up,” Haru smiled wryly, getting a laugh from Rin. “She'd have a field day.”  
“She won't be awake yet, if that counts for anything.”  
“Good start.”  
Rin splashed Haru lightly, but he didn't seem to care.  
“Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?”  
“Not yet.”  
“Okay.”  
They stayed in the water, mostly just talking, until they heard the sounds of other people getting up. Laughing, they struggled their way back out of the tub, slipping and tripping all over the place as they tried to untangle themselves. Rin was weirdly conscious of his bare body, even though Haru barely seemed to notice, and found himself getting dressed in a hurry, facing the other direction. Haru didn't mention it, in fact Rin wasn't sure he was paying that much attention, and they didn't speak again as they headed out to the living room. When Rin sat down on the sofa Haru gently took his towel from him, and he froze when Haru leaned over the back of the sofa behind him. With surprisingly tender motions Haru helped him dry his hair, and after a moment Rin relaxed again, closing his eyes to enjoy the moment with a little smile.  
“Thank you,” Haru said softly, leaning over to kiss Rin's cheek lightly. “For putting up with my dumb fantasies.”  
“They're not dumb if they make you happy.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Any time.”

Rin watched with a fond smile as the team started to warm up, leaning his head in his hand as they looked on. A large number of new people had arrived, people he didn't recognise, but still his old teammates were going strong, were working hard even on day one. Apparently keeping his hood up had made him weirdly inconspicuous, since no one had noticed him yet, even though Haru had claimed it was weird to not say something from the beginning.  
Most of them were in the water, but a few were stretching on the sidelines, and an even smaller group were having some kind of conversation away from the others. He recognised most of that group, the seniors of the team, and wondered what they might be discussing.  
“Excuse me, Sirs.”  
Haru looked up even though Rin ignored the voice, raising his eyebrows at the boy who addressed them.  
“I'm afraid this is a closed training, you'll have to wait outside.”  
“We-”  
“Run along,” Rin cut Haru off, giving him a pointed look. “We're fine.”  
“I'm sorry?”  
“Go practice, you'll be in trouble if you're late.”  
Rin hoped the boy would leave it alone, but instead he watched him walk straight up to his upperclassmen, gesturing toward the pair as he spoke. When a few older students started toward him he finally looked up, his bright red eyes peering out from under his hood, and they froze immediately with the recognition. He shook his head, hoping they might just leave it alone, and the students exchanged a look of hesitance. Rin cursed when they turned toward their Captain.  
When Nitori started toward them Rin rose to his feet, gesturing for Haru to follow suit, and they quickly escaped into the corridor before anyone could get over-excited.  
“Hey, Ai,” Rin said reluctantly, turning around as the young man followed them out the door. “Didn't mean to interrupt.”  
“What are you doing here, Rin-senpai? Not that you aren't welcome.”  
“Just Rin is fine,” Rin smiled, “we're not at school anymore.”  
“I mean...” Nitori looked around at the halls pointedly.  
“You know what I mean.”  
“Did you just come to watch?”  
“I was curious. And a little nostalgic, I guess. Wanted to see it again before we move, it might be a while with competition season coming up.”  
“You don't need to hide. Come join us. I'm sure at least Haruka-san has a swimsuit here, don't you have yours? Please come.”  
He didn't want to admit that he was wearing it under his clothes just like Haru, but he couldn't say no to the begging, so with a little sigh he conceded a nod.  
“Alright, alright, we're coming.”  
Rin was far too dramatic, Haru thought, as he watched the man shed his hood as they walked, shaking out red hair with every eye in the room on him. He stared down the newbies from earlier, watching their faces turn to fear, and Haru hurried to keep up.  
“Attention!” Nitori called, every voice falling silent. “This is Rin Matsuoka, our ex-captain, and Haruka Nanase, from Iwatobi. Make them welcome.”  
Haru cringed, shedding his own hood too as the murmurs started to spread, but he could see Rin relishing the attention. He would never admit it, but Rin loved to be in the spotlight, and Haru suspected it felt good to be back where he was practically famous, after being stuck in the background in Australia and Tokyo.  
It turned out to be a little short lived, though, as the whispers turned to Haru, his name passing through the crowd. Rin caught the words “photo” and “autograph” a couple of times, and turned to give Haru a wry smile.  
“Always a celebrity, aren't you?”  
“One of us got Worlds times in Japan, one of us ran off to Australia for the better part of a year.”  
“Point taken, as usual.” He turned back to the whispering group, grinning. “Only winners get photos and autographs. Challenge him to a race first.”  
“Rin!”  
“Don't you want to swim?”  
Haru looked out over the pool and couldn't find words, didn't want to admit how much the pool was calling to him, but Rin knew exactly what was going through his mind.  
“Exactly. Any takers?”  
Surprisingly a few hands shot up, despite the number of appalled looks they got for it, and Haru obediently started to shed his clothing.  
“I'll take the freestylers,” Haru agreed, “anyone else is yours.”  
“Deal.”  
A strange rush of excitement came over Rin as he ditched his hoodie and sweatpants to the side, curious to see the new talent in the team and ready to beat them down. Haru was already on the blocks with a tiny new team member, much smaller than either of them, and Rin smirked as he sidled up next to a couple of the seniors.  
“One of you want to take me on?”  
“No,” they all answered in unison. “Never.”  
“You're no fun,” Rin sighed.  
“I only have a little while left for them to respect me, I'm not going to let you ruin that.”  
“You got boring, Ai.”  
“Fine, let's race Free then.”  
Rin hesitated, and caught a glimpse of a smirk trying to fight its way out onto Nitori's lips.  
“You've heard, huh?”  
“Is that a no?”  
“Yeah, you win.” Rin sighed, getting a sympathetic smile in return. “I'll get it back.”  
“I know you will. You'll find yourself again soon.”  
It was a weird way to phrase it, Rin thought, but somehow it made sense, too. He'd lost himself while he was in Australia. He'd gone there to accomplish a task, to settle a score, and he'd done it surprisingly quickly. The rest of the months he'd spent there had been aimless, pointless even. There were great athletes there, sure. Amazing swimmers. But he had those in Japan, too. One of them was in the pool right in front of him, fighting just as hard with some random high schooler as he would with any elite athlete, taking him entirely seriously.  
Maybe that was something Haru had over Rin. He had the ability to treat anyone as a rival, as a threat. Rin tended to think most people were beneath him. Haru trained like there were a thousand people ahead of them, while Rin just struggled through the sets he was given.  
No, that wasn't it.  
Haru didn't have rivals, that was the real problem. He had Rin, sure, but even that was hard to call a rivalry. An ongoing competition, more like. Haru never thought about the people beside him, behind him or ahead of him. Haru just swam. He did what he loved to do, and he did it the best he could at any given time. It wasn't that he took the people around him seriously, it was that he just didn't give a damn that people were there.  
Rin folded his arms as Haru turned to watch the new kid finish off, then looked at the rest of the team.  
“Alright,” he said firmly, “My turn now. Who's going to take me on?”

Rin was tired by the time they got to Iwatobi High, his sweatpants damp in places from an under-dried swimsuit, his hair a mess from the water. When they arrived, though, Gou threw herself at him like he was the most amazing person in the world, and he couldn't help but smile.  
“You made it, Onii-chan!”  
The pool looked freezing, and Rin was all too ready to turn them down if they offered to let him join in, but Haru's face when he looked out over it was a thing of wonder. Full of love and nostalgia and admiration, like he was finally home.  
The team actually had a decent number of new members – a decent number of people in general, he should say. Long gone were the days of a four-person team, now they were surely turning people away at the gates.  
“How are they doing, anyway?” Rin asked his sister, leaving Haru to his thoughts. “Decent?”  
“Not bad, actually. Want to take a look?”  
“Only a look,” he smiled wryly, “unless you've started heating the pool.”  
“You're no fun.”  
No one noticed them even without their hoods on, so Rin happily sat back to watch the show. Haru was still wandering the edge of the water, studying everything intently, but Rin left him to his own devices. It wasn't until he started to strip again that people began to notice him, the athletic young man in his trademark black and purple jammer, a familiar whisper spreading through the group. Gou blew her whistle to get their attention, everyone turning to look, and she smiled as she bounded to Haru's side.  
“For those who don't know, this is Haruka Nanase, one of our alumni. He's now swimming in Tokyo, and has already achieved qualifying times for the World Championship.”  
A round of applause spread through the group, and Rin started when Gou pointed at him next.  
“And that's my brother, Rin Matsuoka. He too is swimming in Tokyo, after a successful stint all the way down in Australia.”  
He waved awkwardly when people again began to clap, and Gou still grinned as she continued.  
“Haruka-san is going to join you, so please let him in and learn from him. He will be a big help to you all.”  
Rin groaned when he saw the look she gave him, shaking his head as he threw his hoodie aside reluctantly.  
“And Onii-chan is great for those of you who want to swim a stroke that isn't Free,” Gou smiled warmly, “but he's not used to outdoor pools, so cut him a little slack.”  
“Oi! Not cool!” he scowled, as a few people giggled. “I'm fine.”  
“By all means, then.”  
He cursed himself for his stubbornness as he eyed the water, and braced himself as he plunged into the burst of icy cold.

It had been a long day, but they had both agreed Iwatobi Swimming Club had to be their last stop. There had been old coaches and staff to visit and talk to, most of whom were incredibly glad to see Haru back to his normal self, and they had been able to sit on the bleachers and just look and talk. It was peaceful, warm, safe.  
“Think you'll miss the place?” Rin asked.  
“It'll still be here.”  
“True.”  
“Do you miss Sydney?”  
“All the time, but if I went back to Sydney I think I'd just end up missing Tokyo.”  
“I think this was my home.”  
Rin smiled when he remembered little Haru walking through the front doors and announcing “I'm home!” to anyone who was listening, but he didn't dare bring it up after the denial it brought with it the last time they had the discussion.  
“I feel like I haven't seen my parents in years. Not really.”  
“I know,” Rin assured him. “It must be tough.”  
“And going back there yesterday, finding this cold, dark, empty house, it just felt...”  
He trailed off, and Rin waited patiently as Haru shook his head.  
“It made me sick, in a way. I felt like I had no home, no family. Especially seeing Makoto's family, and yours. It felt so wrong, like I was an intruder.”  
“Haru,” Rin stopped him, struggling to keep from reaching out. “You are my family. You are my home. Wherever you go, I'll either be right by your side, or I'll be waiting for you to come back to me.”  
“You promise?”  
“Yeah, I promise. I'll never let you feel alone ever again, even when you beg me to leave.”  
“Never.”  
There were children splashing in the pool, and a few adults swimming slow laps, and Rin was satisfied to just watch, to not disturb the peace. He suspected Haru was contemplating diving in still, but when he looked over he found tiredness in his boyfriend's eyes, a slump in his shoulders.  
“Do you want to head home?” he asked softly. “It's been a long day.”  
“Maybe.”  
“Maybe?”  
“Where do you mean?”  
Rin smiled, leaning in to nudge him lightly.  
“Your parents' house, first. To start packing. I can help you. We can go back to Mom's to sleep if you like.”  
“Okay.”  
“Okay?”  
“Yeah, let's go.”  
He looked back at the pool as they left, eyeing the clear blue water, and Rin smiled knowingly.  
“We still have a few more days. We'll come swim in the morning.”  
“Okay.”

The house was still dark when they arrived, but it felt less terrible with Rin at his side. Together they went through the things in his bedroom, packing up his clothes, his medals and trophies, his books. Along the way Rin uncovered old doodles that made him smile, tucking them into his bag when Haru went to throw them out, and even a few old photos from when they were kids that Haru slipped into the boxes himself. Halfway through, Rin looked up to see Haru shaking, his knees tucked up to his chest, and he didn't hesitate for a moment to pull him into his arms. He showered the young man with gentle kisses, held him tight, and didn't move until the tears had started to slow.  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
“No.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes.”  
“Okay.”  
Rin continued to hold him, in the hopes of making him feel a little safer, and Haru curled up in his lap like the most fragile creature in the world.  
“It's all gonna be okay,” Rin assured him. “You just need sleep, it's been a rough couple of days. We'll sleep well tonight, then go for a swim in the morning, and everything will be back to normal.”  
“I don't want normal. Normal is the problem.”  
“What do you want, then?”  
“I want you and me in Tokyo.”  
“Soon. So soon.”  
“Not soon enough.”  
“It's all gonna be okay, I promise.”


	20. Chapter 20

The pool was all but empty when they arrived. Haru was still quiet, but less shaky than the night before, and Rin was at a loss. All he could think of was getting Haru in the water, watching him come alive like he always did. In the back of his mind, though, he had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't going to work. Not today.  
By the time they made it to the poolside Coach Sasabe was with them, sitting beside the drain and pulling out a stopwatch.  
“Want to show me how far you've come?”  
“Sure,” Rin agreed, nudging Haru with a smile. “Come on, time to make that forty-five you wanted.”  
He swam a few laps obediently, but sure enough it wasn't right. It wasn't Haru. The day prior he had been amazing. He'd been throwing near-personal bests against the new Samezuka team, destroying each and every one of them, but today he had even Sasabe concerned.  
“Something on your mind, Haru?”  
“No.”  
He climbed up to the blocks again without even looking at them, taking a deep breath and diving into the cool water. Rin watched for a moment, eyeing the desperate strokes that were so unlike him, the strangely frantic way he tried to gain speed.  
“What's going on?” Sasabe asked, when Haru neared the other end of the lane. “Did something happen?”  
“He doesn't want to be here anymore, he wants to be back in Tokyo with his team and his fancy pool. We're just trying to tie things up here so we can leave permanently.”  
“It'll be sad to see you go. Come visit, at least.”  
“We will, my family are still here. And you'll be our guest of honour when we celebrate gold after Worlds.”  
“I look forward to it.”  
Rin glanced down at the stopwatch when Sasabe hit the button, cringing a little when he saw it.  
“Screw times,” he announced, climbing back in the water. “We're here to have fun before we get stuck on that terrifying training schedule.”  
“Was it bad?”  
“It was fine, forget about it.”  
“Was it bad?” he asked again, directed at Sasabe this time.  
“It was fine,” he assured him, “not your best, but it was fine.”  
“Was it faster than Rin?”  
“Not this time.”  
“Ugh.”  
Haru took off again and Sasabe shot Rin an apologetic look, to which he just shook his head faintly.  
“He'll be back to normal soon,” he said, more to himself than to the Coach, “just a few more days.”

Surprisingly, Haru seemed almost back to normal when they returned to packing. As normal as Haru got, at least. They managed to finish off most of his bedroom, his possessions all packed into suitcases they could cart back with them, the room laid strangely bare behind them. Rin lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, and Haru leaned over to look at him.  
“I missed you.”  
“What do you mean?” Haru frowned.  
“You haven't seemed like yourself lately.”  
“Sorry.”  
“No, don't be.”  
He reached out and Haru accepted his hand, smiling faintly when Rin pulled him down on top of him.  
“I was scared, the first day I showed up here. I knew you'd be mad that I hadn't called. I thought if I didn't come straight here, I'd never get up to courage to come see you.”  
“I'm glad you did.”  
“So am I. I can't even remember what it was like to not have you at my side.”  
“I can.”  
“Sorry.”  
For once Rin was the one snuggling into Haru, instead of the one being protective. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Haru's chest, his hands tangled in his shirt, and let out a contented sigh.  
“I know it's hard,” he said softly, without looking up. “Being back here. Remembering.”  
“It's okay when I'm with you.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah.”  
They were silent for a minute, and Haru softened a little, slipping a hand up Rin's shirt.  
“It's weird.”  
“Hm?”  
“For a long time you were the one messing with my head, not the one making sense of things.”  
Rin cracked a smile, but still didn't open his eyes, Haru's hand warm against his back.  
“Have I thanked you yet?”  
“For what?”  
“Giving me a sense of purpose.”  
“Yeah, you have,” Rin chuckled, “I'm glad I could.”  
“Don't ever leave me.”  
“I wouldn't dream of it.”

When they met up with the others for dinner, every hint of friendship and socialising that he showed last time was gone without a trace. He barely spoke, only giving one word answers when people directed questions at him, and this time Rin wasn't the only one concerned about him.  
“Is everything okay, Haru-chan?” Nagisa asked, leaning over to rest his head on Haru's shoulder. “You're so quiet tonight.”  
“Fine.”  
“If you want to talk, we're good at listening.”  
“No.”  
“Alright,” he sighed, “guessing game it is. Did you and Rin have a fight?”  
“No.”  
“Are you sick?”  
“No.”  
He pulled a face, but finally noticed Rin's warning look, and sighed again.  
“Alright. Well, you know where to find me, Haru-chan. I've gotta go home, but you have my number.”  
“Yeah.”  
“I'm aiming for Todai, so you're gonna have to get used to having me around again.”  
“We'd be glad to have you,” Rin assured him, when Haru didn't answer. “The team are great, you'll love them.”  
“I'll see you guys again soon, then. Before you leave, right?”  
“Yeah,” Haru conceded faintly. “Bye.”  
“Take care, Haru-chan. And the rest of you, of course.”  
“Good seeing you, Nagisa. Thanks for coming.”  
He watched Nagisa go for a moment, then looked back at Haru again, at the solemn expression that had overtaken his normally cute face. A long sigh escaped him, but he quickly brushed it off, slapping a smile back on his face for the sake of their friends.

Rin pressed the piece of paper into Haru's hand firmly, clenching his jaw to keep from showing his sadness, or any emotion for that matter.  
“You're going home. Tomorrow.”  
“What?”  
“I've had enough of watching this.” Rin gestured vaguely at Haru, “you're miserable, don't try to deny it.”  
Haru didn't say anything, just looked down at the plane ticket in his hands blankly.  
“I'll finish packing up our stuff and take the train back to meet you. You can go stay with Makoto in the meantime. He already said it was okay.”  
“I can't leave you.” Haru choked out finally, his voice barely a whisper. “I have to...”  
“No, Haru. I'm putting my foot down. I'm gonna take you to the airport in the morning and wave goodbye and you're going to go back to Tokyo, back to training, back to everything you need.”  
“Not everything.”  
“I'll be there before you know it, I promise. But we both know this is what needs to happen.”  
“Why?” Haru demanded, finally looking up to meet Rin's eyes. “Why do I have to leave without you? You know what I'm like when you're gone.”  
“Without me in Tokyo is still going to be miles better than with me in Iwatobi.”  
“You don't know that.”  
“I'm willing to take my chances. I won't sit here and watch you destroy yourself all over again just for a few days with me.”  
“You can't make me do anything.”  
“No, you're right, I can't.” Rin softened, shaking his head slowly. “But Haru, we both know where you want to be. You never wanted to come back here in the first place. So go, be happy and safe.”  
“Come with me.”  
“Then coming here would have been pointless, you know that.”  
Rin set his hands on Haru's shoulders, looking him straight in the eyes with every bit of strength and sincerity he could find.  
“I love you, Haru. That's why you have to leave.”  
“I love you too.”


	21. Chapter 21

Rin knew his form was terrible, and he hated himself for it. After complaining about Haru's frantic motions and desperation, now he was the one ruining himself.  
There was a training session going on, taking up most of the pool, but Sasabe had made sure there was a lane there just for Rin. He had been swimming back and forth for the better part of the morning, trying to distract himself, trying not to think about Haru sitting on the plane alone. He had almost taken back the decision when they'd gotten to the airport, had almost torn the ticket from his hand and told him to stay, but he knew deep down that a few days apart would save them a lot of future troubles.  
They had said their proper goodbye at Haru's parents' house, with the hugs and kisses and Rin's dumb tears, and at the airport had settled for reluctant, sad, goodbye waves.  
And then he'd gone straight to the pool.  
He would swim away his worries, would swim until every muscle ached too much for him to think. Then he would go home and pack as quickly as he could, so he could get back to Haru. Back home.  
When he stopped at the edge of the pool he could feel people staring at him, and he looked up to see half the team watching. He didn't recognise a single face among them, so he wasn't sure exactly what was going on, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to look away.  
“Oi, stop distracting him,” Sasabe laughed, “he's working.”  
They all immediately looked guilty, and Rin gave them a little wave. After a moment he climbed out of the pool, his limbs already a little tired, and smiled at them.  
“I need some motivation, anyone want to race?”  
Sasabe laughed when all the faces lit up, and Rin grinned as he pulled his goggles back on, ready to fight.

A little smile came out when Haru saw Makoto in the waiting area, jumping up to take one of his suitcases. He put his hand on Haru's back as he led him out of the crowd, and for a moment Haru couldn't help but think how the same gesture from Rin would make him feel self-conscious. The trip back to Makoto's apartment was long and quiet, sitting side by side on the train with barely a word spoken, and Haru suspected he'd fallen asleep for a part of it. It wasn't until he was back at the apartment, sitting on the edge of the bed, that Makoto finally asked the question.  
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”  
Haru felt like he genuinely didn't have an answer for it, wracking his brain as Makoto waited patiently, and in the end there was only one way he could think of to describe it.  
“I broke.”  
“You broke,” Makoto said softly. “You started... Zoning out?”  
“Not exactly.”  
“But you were unhappy.”  
“Mostly, yeah.”  
“Talk to me, I'll try my best to understand.”  
He dropped his head into his hands as he thought about it, relishing the darkness that came with it, and Makoto waited as quietly as ever.  
“With him, I was happy. I'm still happy to have him, to be with him. I hated the thought of coming back without him, even though...”  
“Even though you wanted to come back?”  
“Yeah. I met his family. I mean, I'd already _met_ them, but you know what I mean. I stayed at their house, and they were so nice to me. Even Gou was nicer than usual.”  
“That's a good thing, isn't it?”  
“My parents weren't home.”  
“Oh. So you didn't get a chance to talk to them.”  
“No. I can't remember the last time we really talked. I mean, I see them, but we don't... They never even asked. About why I was unhappy. They just...”  
“They probably thought if you wanted to talk about it, you would.”  
“But wouldn't most parents at least try?”  
“I don't know.”  
“Rin told me he had trouble working out where home was. Whether it was with his mother and sister, or his grandmother, or in Australia. He kept talking about 'going home' but meaning so many different places. When he told me, he seemed so torn about it, like he needed to pick one. And I thought about it and I realised I wasn't sure either. I couldn't bring myself to call my parents' house home. But I can't call Tokyo home either, at least not yet. He has too many homes, and I don't even have one.”  
He peeked up when Makoto chuckled faintly, watching the amused little smile as Makoto turned around to dig through a drawer. He pulled something out and moved over to the bed, dropping it lightly into Haru's hands.  
“No longer a problem, you can move on.”  
He looked down to find two little keys in his hand, identical to each other, both plain and silver.  
“I picked them up last night,” Makoto explained. “We can start moving you in, if you want.”  
“Really?”  
“Really. Although if you want to stay here until Rin gets back I think we'd all worry less.”  
“Yeah, thank you.”  
“So that's one problem solved. What's the next one?”  
“My times were bad.”  
“Your lap times?”  
“Yeah.”  
“God forbid,” Makoto smiled wryly, “they were always worse when you went back.”  
“Worse than usual.”  
“It's fine, you'll go to the pool in the morning and be back to full strength again like you always are.”  
“I hope so.”  
“Anything else bothering you?”  
He paused, thinking about it for a minute, then shrugged.  
“I feel bad for not wanting to be there. I have friends there, it's where I grew up. I shouldn't hate it so much to go back again.”  
“People change, people move on. It's nothing to be ashamed of.”  
“I guess.”  
“Should we go over there or do you want to wait for him?”  
“I wouldn't mind going.”  
“Okay. Do you need food or a shower first?”  
“Yeah. Both would be good.”  
“Okay, go shower while I find food, then we'll head over.”  
Haru grabbed a towel from the cupboard and some clean clothes from his bag, a little sad for a moment to be wearing his own and not adopting from Rin, and stepped into the bathroom.

Rin was tired. Incredibly tired. His room was full of bags, some to be thrown away or recycled, others to be taken with him on the train. It was done, though, and he could finally lie back on his bed and not feel guilty for taking a break.  
It was lonely, though.  
He hadn't been back all that long, he was very aware of that fact, but in that time he had grown so accustomed to having Haru at his side. It was probably a little unhealthy, he thought. Too co-dependant or something. Although it wasn't like he couldn't cope on his own, it wasn't like he was going to break down over not having Haru in his bed.  
It was just sad.  
Haru would be on his way home from the pool by now, after seeing all his friends so excited to have him back, even after just a few days. He was probably sitting on the train right this second, heading back to have dinner with Makoto. Rin hunted down his phone and stared at the background for a moment, at Haru's soft expression, before he started to type a message.  
“Hope you had a good trip. Call me when you're not busy.”  
He set the phone down beside the bed, although he quietly hoped it wouldn't be down for long, and sighed to himself.  
_I'm pathetic_  
He waited another moment and then climbed up to change his clothes, to put on something warmer and less sweaty, tucking his phone safely in his pocket.  
“Heading out,” he called, as he stopped to put his shoes on. “Back later.”  
“Come back soon!” his mother called back from the kitchen, without question.  
The night air was cold, a breeze blowing in from the sea, and Rin tucked his arms around himself as he walked.  
The cold was so much more bearable with Haru beside him.

Despite not having Rin beside him, Haru couldn't help but be a little happy when he got to the pool. Even though he was only gone a few days, his teammates were still so happy to see him back, and he quickly abandoned his phone in his bag.  
“Oh, um, I kind of have news,” he spoke up, as they began to leave the changing rooms. “We have an apartment now, so for the foreseeable future I'll be back in Tokyo.”  
He cringed when people started hugging him and clapping him on the back, but a tiny smile came out too. He couldn't deny that he was glad to be back, and pleased that his friends were happy to have him back too. It was strangely hard to remember why he'd been so miserable the first time around, when all these people were there with him, and he couldn't seem to pinpoint the reason for it. He shook it off when someone looked over at him questioningly, managing a little smile again to reassure them, and rounded the pool to get started.

The breeze was magnified when he got to the right place, huddling inside his jacket for warmth as he sat down in front of the stone. It was clean, well-kept even in his absence, and a little smile came out as he looked up at it.  
“I'm back,” he said softly. “Did you miss me?”  
With the wind whistling around him he almost expected to hear an answer, but he shook it off quickly.  
“I'm on my way. Getting closer and closer all the time. I think I'm going to swim at Worlds soon, which means the next Olympics should be well within my reach. And you remember Haru, right? He's going to be there with me. We'll both be on the podium. We'll come show you the medals after, I'm sure they must be pretty amazing to look at.”  
He ducked his head for a moment, his vision clouding, and rubbed stubbornly at his eyes.  
“I know you gave up on your dream for us, for your family, and I love you so much for being able to do that. I'm starting my family too, even if it's only two of us right now, and I promise we're gonna fight. We're gonna fight for our dreams, for each other's dreams. It's gonna happen, Dad, just you wait and see.”  
His phone chose the worst possible moment to start ringing, but when he saw the name on the screen he quickly wiped his eyes on his sleeve and hit the green button.  
“Hey,” he said softly, his voice catching a little. “You just get home?”  
“Yeah, sorry I didn't call earlier.”  
“No, it's fine, how was practice?”  
Haru paused for a moment, didn't answer him right away, and when he spoke again he seemed confused.  
“Are you crying?”  
“What? No.”  
“You sound... What's wrong?”  
“Nothing,” he laughed weakly. “Sorry, I was just...”  
“Just what? Is it because of me? Because I didn't call?”  
“No, of course not, nothing like that.”  
“Then what?”  
“I was just talking to Dad,” he admitted, his cheeks a little warmer than usual. “Sorry.”  
“Oh. I'm sorry, I should have come with you.”  
“No, it's okay. You know what I'm like.”  
“A crybaby?”  
“Shut up,” Rin cracked a faint smile, “you're meant to be nice when I'm upset.”  
“Okay. I miss you.”  
“Now it doesn't sound genuine.”  
“I just can't please you, can I?”  
“Sorry,” Rin chuckled, “I miss you too.”  
“Can you put him on the phone?”  
“What?”  
“Hold the phone out for me.”  
Rin shook his head faintly but held the phone out obediently, and he could hear Haru's voice quietly start again on the other end. He couldn't make out exactly what was being said, but he did hear the words “thank you”, and it made him smile a lot more genuinely.  
“Are you done?” he asked, when the voice fell silent again. “All sorted?”  
“Yeah, I'm done,” Haru agreed. “Thanks.”  
“You can come with me next time.”  
“After Worlds?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay. I will.”  
Rin waved goodbye to his father as he stood up, still smiling to himself as he began the walk back toward home, Haru's voice still comforting in his ear.


	22. Chapter 22

Haru's phone didn't seem to stop buzzing. Every time he tried to put it away it went off again, so in the end he gave up, keeping it in one hand as he walked the aisles. They'd been talking since the moment Haru got out of training. He hadn't wanted to try and talk out loud on the trains, so they'd settled for sending the short little text messages, but Haru kind of missed hearing the voice that went with them. The basket in his hand was getting fuller, a little heavier, and he had a note on his phone with a bunch of names and numbers that he occasionally had to switch back to between messages.  
“What are you doing, anyway? Have you eaten?”  
“Not yet,” Haru sent back quickly. “Not really doing anything. Training again tonight. Are you doing anything exciting?”  
“Just about to get lunch with some friends. Might get a bit slower on the responses, sorry.”  
“It's okay.”  
Sure enough the pace started to slow, and Haru was relieved to be able to put his phone away occasionally. It was a little sad though, too. He wished Rin was beside him, helping him make decisions. This would be better though, a nice surprise for when he got back.  
Got home.  
Finally he took his basket up to the counter, pulling out his list and settling in for what he suspected would be a long transaction.

The lunch was bittersweet. On one hand, he had a great time laughing with his old friends, reminiscing and talking about future plans. Nagging them to come visit him in Tokyo. Reminding them not to forget about him.  
“It's a lot closer than Australia,” they had reminded him. “Tokyo is no big deal.”  
When he left there were tears in his eyes again, stubbornly brushed away by his jacket sleeve, and a lot of hugs exchanged with people who probably wouldn't normally have let him. Only Sosuke hung back, as the rest drifted off one by one, and Rin smiled when they exchanged a look.  
“Thanks for coming. It was really good to see you.”  
“Yeah. We'll try to do it more.”  
“I should probably tell you something.”  
“Is it about the fact that you and Haruka are moving in together?”  
“A little, yeah.”  
“If you're about to come out to me, I already know.”  
“I figured you'd guessed,” Rin smiled wryly, “we're together now, though. Dating, I mean.”  
“It was bound to happen at some point. Going okay so far?”  
“Yeah, it's been really good.”  
“Be careful, alright?”  
“What?” Rin's eyebrows knitted together, “careful with what?”  
“You two have always driven each other mad. Wound each other up, pushed each other too far. I hate to think what happens when you do that while living together.”  
Rin smirked, but tried to hide it quickly, unable to find words for a moment.  
“What?” Sosuke asked knowingly.  
“Making out is what happens. When we wind each other up.”  
“Yeah, didn't need to know that,” Sosuke sighed. “I shouldn't have asked.”  
Rin's fingers roamed to his neck, to the smooth skin, unmarred by bruises or scratches. It was weird, in a way. He'd gotten so used to covering up marks, to making excuses for them, that now it was strange to be normal and healthy.  
“We should go,” he said finally. “You have a train to catch, and I'm meant to drop by to say goodbye to the Iwatobi team.”  
“Yeah, come on then.”  
Rin stuffed his hands in his pockets as they started toward the station, the sky surprisingly clear above them considering the last few days, but the wind still icy cold.

Haru knew Makoto was doing his best to not look curious, to pretend he hadn't heard a word, but he wasn't very good at it. As he hung up the phone and set it down he looked over, watching as Makoto busied himself moving the table one way, then back to where it was again.  
“I left them a note when I was there,” Haru explained. “They just got home and found it.”  
“Oh. Is everything okay?”  
“Yeah. They're okay with it I think. With me and Rin, I mean.”  
“That's good.”  
“I had to try and explain why I'm back here, it was hard.”  
“Why was it hard?”  
“Because they don't get it. They know I was unhappy here before, so they don't understand why I think I'll be happy this time. Why I _am_ happy this time. With friends I can just tell them my lap times and they'll back off, but that doesn't really work with my parents.”  
“They're just worried about you, that's what parents do. They'll see it soon enough.”  
“What if they're right?”  
“Do you think they are?”  
“No”  
“Then just forget about it.”  
“Yeah, I guess.”  
“And if you're still worried, call Rin and talk to him about it. I'm sure he can convince you.”  
“Mm, maybe. I don't want to bother him.”  
“Would you ever think it was a bother if he called you?”  
“No.”  
“Then why would he think you were bothering him?”  
Haru managed a smile, glancing at his phone on the table again, then nodded.  
“Okay. Let's take a break, then.”  
“Sounds good. I'm gonna go get us some food.”  
“Thank you.”

Rin fumbled his phone out of his pocket with strangely uncoordinated hands, hitting the button quickly and slamming it to his ear.  
“Haru?”  
“Yeah. Hello, Rin.”  
“Is everything okay?”  
“I think so.”  
“You think so?”  
“I miss you,” Haru said, his voice strangely genuine. “How are you?”  
“I miss you too,” Rin's face burned red. “This isn't like you, though.”  
He took a seat on a station bench to listen, away from the crowds, and Haru paused for a moment.  
“Isn't it? Sorry.”  
“It's fine,” Rin assured him. “I'm good. How are you?”  
“Fine, I think. You were right about me coming back, I'm less...”  
He trailed off, and Rin nodded faintly even though he knew Haru couldn't see it.  
“Stressed out?”  
“That's pretty close,” Haru agreed. “Thank you for looking out for me.”  
“You don't need to thank me,” Rin scoffed, “I just want you to be happy.”  
“I am. I'll be happier when you get back.”  
“Soon.”  
“I know.”  
Rin knew his train would be pulling up at any second, but he didn't move from his seat. There would be other trains, and he wasn't ready to hang up just yet. He liked hearing Haru's voice, and he especially liked the idea that Haru had called him, not the other way around. There was something more intimate about it than just sending messages back and forth, like they'd been doing earlier.  
“Are you still coming back tomorrow?” Haru asked quietly. “You said Sunday before.”  
“I am,” Rin assured him. “I mailed some boxes on ahead, and I'll be there with the rest of our stuff tomorrow.”  
“Okay. Um...” He paused, and Rin waited knowingly. “I think... I think I'll be at our new place, tomorrow. So you should come there instead of Makoto's.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah.”  
“You have the keys?”  
“Yeah.”  
“That's awesome, Haru. I'll meet you there tomorrow, then. Have you been sleeping there?”  
“Ah... Well, Makoto has been worried about me...”  
“Oh, of course. We can consider it tomorrow, then. Together.”  
“Yeah,” Haru said softly. “Together in our home.”  
“I like the sound of that.”  
“Me too. Um, I need to go to training, sorry. I'll let you know when I finish.”  
“Have fun, Haru. Work hard.”  
“Okay. Bye for now, then.”  
“Later.”  
He hung up and stared at the phone for a moment, smiling to himself, before he shouldered his bag and headed for the platform.

There was something enticing about the apartment, something that drew him in, something about being _theirs_. He didn't want to go back to Makoto's, didn't want to take the set of trains that would return him to the familiar, safe area. He just wanted to take the one short train ride and collapse in his own space, their own space.  
“Without him, though?” Makoto asked, when Haru tried to explain. “Are you gonna be okay?”  
“I think so,” Haru told him. “I can leave if I'm not.”  
“Alright then. Have a good night, I'll talk to you tomorrow.”  
He stopped on the way to get food, mostly so he would have dinner and breakfast, but enough to hold them over for a few days when Rin got back, too. He would be prepared to cook when Rin got back, to welcome him home with a nice dinner, to make him feel happy and loved and to not want to go back to his family instead. The apartment would be clean and tidy, as well, so Rin would have nothing to complain about.  
Would he complain, though?  
Haru wasn't entirely sure. He might just be happy to be back, or at least Haru hoped that would be the case. It would be nice to see Rin arrive with a smile, to see the new furniture, as plain as it was, and be excited that their home was ready to live in. They could spend the day there, since they wouldn't have training. Alone together, in a private place. That sounded like a really good idea to Haru. He hoped Rin would feel the same.  
The apartment was dark, quiet, empty, but somehow that wasn't a turn off this time. It didn't make him want to leave and hide. It was his space, even if he hadn't spent much time here yet. It was safe.  
He cooked, he cleaned, he put his swimsuit in to wash, and when he was satisfied, he curled up in his big bed with his phone in hand.  
“I'm staying in the new place tonight,” he told Rin. “Almost ready for sleep.”  
“Alone?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Feeling brave, huh?”  
He smiled to himself, thinking for a moment before he tapped out his reply.  
“It's ours. It feels like home. I don't need to be brave.”  
“Glad to hear it. Sweet dreams, I hope you have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow.”  
“Goodnight, Rin.”  
He plugged the phone in beside the bed and rolled over, staring for a moment at the empty space where Rin should be. Where he would be, soon enough. With a little smile he laid his hand on the spare pillow and closed his eyes.


	23. Chapter 23

He'd had this dream a thousand times.  
He woke up to the sound of knocking, because apparently people had given up on the unobtrusive doorbell and turned to the more grating sound of fists on wood. He rolled over and buried his head under a pillow for a few minutes, but eventually he had to concede, had to crawl out of bed and make his way to the door in a sulk.  
It was always him on the other side.  
Same fiery eyes, same maroon hair, same apologetic little smile as they looked at each other.  
He never changed.  
Haru turned around to plod his way back to bed, ready to jolt awake as he made his way down the hall, ready to open his eyes and see the dim morning sunlight filtering in through the curtains. Easy. All it took was three steps.  
“Morning, Haru” Rin laughed from behind him “Sorry to wake you.”  
“One” Haru counted out loud pointedly, blocking out the voice “Two. Three.”  
“Not dreaming” Rin assured him, touching his shoulder lightly “You actually have to put up with me, sorry”  
Oh.  
He froze, and gently Rin turned him around to meet his eyes, still a little glazed over in his tiredness.  
“Got it now?”  
“Yeah”  
He didn't argue when Rin hugged him, didn't even pull a face, and Rin was content to just stand there in silence for a moment with his best friend, his oldest rival, his soulmate, clutched in his arms.  
“I missed you.”  
“I missed you too.”  
“Clearly” Rin smirked, “you've been dreaming about me again.”  
“Not for a while. I just assumed...”  
Haru stopped to look around, to survey his surroundings, and Rin laughed at him happily.  
“Wrong house, yeah?”  
“Yeah. I didn't think.”  
“This is our place. I'll always come back to you, no need for any more weird dreams.”  
“Ours” Haru mumbled, testing the word for himself. “Can I go back to bed now?”  
“It's already eight, are you that tired?”  
“Mm... Yeah”  
“Didn't sleep well last night?”  
“Not really”  
“Go on then, I'll be there in a minute”  
“You don't have to”  
“You think I'd miss an opportunity to cuddle without listening to you complain?”  
“I don't complain”  
“You always complain” Rin argued, smirking as he shoved Haru off lightly. “Just let me use the bathroom”  
“Okay”  
He trudged back down the hall, and Rin didn't take long to join him, stripping off his clothes with a speed that would almost rival Haru before he slid under the covers.  
“I wasn't expecting you this early”  
“I decided to go to Osaka last night and spend the night there, then come to Tokyo this morning.”  
“Was it better than doing the whole thing at once?”  
“Much. My butt doesn't hurt as bad and I don't feel like I wasted my whole day.”  
“Instead you get to waste it in bed with me.”  
“That's the opposite of a waste.”  
Haru shuffled back a little to push himself tighter into Rin's arms, and Rin knowingly held him tighter.  
“Thank you for keeping the door locked, by the way. I'm glad you've started listening.”  
“I always lock doors overnight.”  
“Always?”  
“Well, mostly.”  
“I'll take a key next time, so you can lock it all the time.”  
“Noone will come in anyway.”  
“You don't know that.”  
“If they find the door unlocked they'll think someone is home and not try to steal anything.”  
“Your logic is ridiculous.”  
“It works.”  
“Tokyo is not the same as living in a little town.”  
“I've lived here before.”  
“Did you lock the door before?”  
Haru cracked a little smile, and even though Rin couldn't see it he sighed.  
“I'm serious”  
“I did, mostly. Overnight, anyway. I unlocked it when I got up so Makoto didn't have to break his way in”  
“Seriously? He still had to drag you out of the bath when you were living in Tokyo?”  
“Yeah”  
“You're ridiculous. Set an alarm or something, you have a cellphone”  
“I never use it”  
“You did the last few days. Just keep doing it. How else am I meant to send you cute little love notes in the middle of the day when we're forced to be apart?”  
“Just don't leave me, say them instead”  
“If only I could” Rin chuckled.  
“You can say them now, if you want.”  
“It's not the same thing.”  
“I know.”  
Haru quieted, wriggling a little to settle himself to go back to sleep, and it took Rin far too long to understand. With one arm he held firm around Haru's waist, and the other hand played absent-mindedly with dark hair.  
“You mean you want to hear them?”  
“It might be nice to fall asleep to something... nice” he mumbled into his pillow “don't go overboard”  
“Okay” Rin agreed, leaning his head in closer to speak softly near Haru's ear “I love you more than anything. I never want to be with anyone else. Falling asleep with you and waking up with you still in my arms makes me happier than I could ever have imagined”  
“Love you too” Haru mumbled, rolling over to bury his face in Rin's chest. “More than... Mackerel”  
“Liar”  
“I do”  
“More than the water?”  
“Don't be silly”  
Rin couldn't stop a little laugh from escaping him, and he saw the corner of Haru's lips twitch into a smile even though his eyes remained firmly shut.  
“I'll take it” he grinned, kissing the top of Haru's head “sleep well”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for all the support guys! Reading your comments is the highlight of my day <3
> 
> Please check my profile for info on upcoming fics etc!


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